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Murder She Blogged is going on a little hiatus while I go on an epic voyage to USA to solve mysteries, attend a wedding and eat a cronut. Definitely not in that order though.

But never fear! The blog will return in September to find more proof that JB Fletcher is the greatest person ever. In the mean time, I leave you with this video, which is everything.

See you soon Fletcherfans!

S04E19 – Just Another Fish Story

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Oh look who’s back.

Why. Just, why.

Look at him. No clue.

JB is in New York to visit the World’s Worst Human Being, who has just gotten engaged. Now if that doesn’t prove there’s someone in this world for everyone then I don’t know what does. Grady, Donna and JB are set to have dinner at Alice’s Farm, a restaurant that Grady does the books for and convinced JB to invest in (so presumably it’s about to go under then). Donna is late, leaving Grady and JB to fight with the maitre’d  Chaz Gautier (aka Hymie from Get Smart) about the mysterious case of the disappearing reservation. It is left to the brother of the chef, Doug Brook, to sort it out and scold Chaz about taking bribes for tables (I should point out that it seems like the restaurant is a steakhouse that serves flaming ribs on pitchforks and charging $22.50 for fried chicken. Blessed are the 80s).

While they wait for a table JB gets stuck into the wine list and listens to the bar tender tell stories about pouring wine for Tennessee Williams and Ernest Hemingway. They are joined at the bar by ‘trends’ columnist Mimi Harcourt who calls JB Jennifer and says that her readers don’t read fiction, they prefer to make their own scene. What a top human being. As she swans off to go be fabulous somewhere else, Donna finally arrives with some news – her parents are going away to Europe but want to throw a party for the happy couple, specifically tomorrow night at their house upstate. Grady doesn’t take the news well but JB loves a party and says it will be delightful. She begs them to tell her all about their plans for the wedding and it is soon revealed that neither of them have any idea about life/wedding planning.

JB has a similar view of weddings to me, as it turns out.

Amen.

Amen.

They finally get a table and Grady and Donna are amazed to discover that they want the same things. JB is on to her third glass of wine and is delighted for them/everyone who has ever lived and tries to order caviar to celebrate but alas the kitchen is out. Instead the waiter offers oeuf de poulet  -hard boiled eggs. Same same, right?

By the end of the night JB is well and truly boozed, and offers a sneak preview of the speech she’ll give at the wedding.

MY HERO.

MY HERO.

Chef Alice comes out to thank JB for investing in the restaurant and JB congratulates her on her success and the fish. Later, they drop Donna home and Grady celebrates life by jamming his fingers in the door of the taxi. Not even making that up.

The next morning, JB gets a call from Donna. The police are at her apartment to take her down to the restaurant. Chaz has turned up dead in the freezer room. At the restaurant NYPD’s finest, led by Lieutenant Rupp, show the ledgers to Donna and ask her why some of the entries have been whited out. Donna has no idea, she only brought the books up to date the previous day. Rupp is delighted, and says it shouldn’t be too hard for them to work out what was removed. Jess tries to explain that they have to go upstate to attend an engagement party but he is unmoved, even when JB helpfully spots a pocket knife wedged in between some boxes in the freezer room. Alice and Doug Brooke arrive and Alice discovers that six cases of lobster tails have disappeared. Rupp asks Doug about the receipt found in Chaz’s pocket and Doug explains its from the register, showing the final days take.

Back at his apartment Grady tells JB that he’s off to help Donna with the books and might be some time. JB asks him why he’s so terrified of meeting Donna’s family and the truth comes out – Grady has met Donna’s father before. About five years ago. When he fired Grady after a couple of days.

UNSURPRISED JESS IS UNSURPRISED

UNSURPRISED JESS IS UNSURPRISED

While JB comforts Grady as best she can, the phone rings. Mimi Harcourt is doing a piece about the restaurant and would like to have a late breakfast with JB. Grady accepts immediately on JB’s behalf and begs her to go, saying that she might find out all sorts of gossip that might help them get away quicker so he can face his doom.

Over breakfast, Mimi tells JB that the proprietor of the establishment, Valentino (aka Sonny Bono), was furious when Alice left to start her own business, taking Doug and Harry the bartender with her. Business has been quiet ever since, to the point where he now plays a tape of people talking to make the restaurant have more ambience. JB asks Mimi about the article she’s writing but it isn’t about the murder, it’s about people investing. Or something. I kind of zoned out for a second. Mimi is then called away on urgent business – her nail designer has just been arrested and Mimi has a party to get to.  She hands JB money for her share of the bill and sashays away.

JB goes to have a chat with the owner, Valentino

#sorrynotsorry

#sorrynotsorry

JB tells him that’s very kind, but he says not at all. Besides, it’s easier than starting a new register tape.

Cue ‘clue discovery’ music.

JB heads to the police station with Grady and Donna to report to Lieutenant Rupp her theory that Chaz was closing the till early and pocketing the money that came in later. Donna and Grady also discovered that the restaurant was paying for goods that were never received. Rupp is disappointed they haven’t found more, and ask them to continue examining the books. JB tells him that he can’t keep them there against their will, but he says they can do it the easy way or the hard way. He has bigger fish to fry – the murder weapon was a knife with a sickle shaped blade but they haven’t had any luck finding it yet.

While Donna and Grady go back to the books, JB eats with Alice and Doug. JB compliments them again on the fish, and Alice says it was the same as the previous night, the frozen yellow-tail. Doug had pulled it out of the freezer the previous night to defrost. Doug denies it.

The point, apparently, is this:

I TOLD YOU HE HAD BIGGER FISH TO FRY *drops mic*

I TOLD YOU HE HAD BIGGER FISH TO FRY *drops mic*

This danger fish business does have a precedent, as you might remember:

Oh dear. I’m about to fall down a youtube rabbit hole. Focus!

Back at the police station, Rupp is suspicious of Alice’s assurances that she didn’t see blood on the fish before she cooked it, and that she and Doug were both home all night. JB points out that the cunning use of fish indicates the murder wasn’t premeditated and that it was most likely that the killer caught Chaz in the middle of stealing the lobster tails. Rupp decides he needs to read one of JB’s books.

Down at the restaurant Grady and Donna are poring over the books but not getting anywhere. It takes a visit from JB to point out that the initials on the list of investors are probably silent partners, and that it seems likely that M.H stands for Mimi Harcourt, whom JB decides to pay a visit on. Donna says she needs something from the office and share the cab. While they drive. Donna tells JB she’s starting to have doubts about everything, including the wedding. Apparently, Grady is starting to remind Donna of her perfectionist father.

Donna seems to have gotten Grady confused with someone else

Donna seems to have gotten Grady confused with someone else

JB assures her that she’s never met two people more suited to each other, and in this I agree. (They got married in real life, so aww to that). JB tells her that if she doesn’t want to be an accountant she shouldn’t, and Donna confesses all she wants to be is a stay-at-home Mum.

Mimi is alarmed with JB outs her as an investor and tells her that noone was meant to know, except Chaz had been blabbing all over town. Jess says that must have made Mimi angry but Mimi’s having none of that, besides she has an alibi for the whole night Chaz died. She was in her apartment, with Doug Brooke. Jess then confronts Alice with this news and Alice admits she made up the alibi because she wasn’t sure where her brother was.

Jess has a theory about who was buying the stolen food, and goes to see her buddy Valentino. He denies stealing the food but doesn’t deny buying food from less than reputable sources. The phone rings, and it’s Grady looking for JB. “It’s happened again.” He tells her.

“Another murder?” JB asks, horrified.

“I’ve been dumped.” Says Grady.

Her work is never done.

Her work is never done.

At the restaurant, JB tries to console Grady who is miserable. All he wants is a wife who will stay home and raise the kids, but he doesn’t want to get in Donna’s way for her career. Yada yada you see where I’m going with this right?

Rupp turns up and tells JB he’s arrested Valentino for the murder, which makes no sense to JB since he had no motive. She wonders how the stolen supplies got delivered, since the merchandise was gone after Chaz’s murder. She remembers where she last saw the pocket knife she found in the freezer room and confronts Harry, who confesses to being Chaz’s accomplice but not his killer.

Meanwhile, Grady is still sitting at the bar mumbling about whether it was his fault when he said that Donna shouldn’t have been calculating the value of the stolen lobster tails and caviar. This sets off alarm bells in Jess’s head, which is funny because this whole damn episode has been a giant alarm bell.

Nevertheless, the killer has been busted. And yes it’s who you think it is.

This episode is so weird.

This episode is so weird.

But the good news is, it was self defence. Donna worked out Chaz’s scam, and went to confront him about it. He tried to cut her in on the deal but she refused, so he came at her, so she came at him with a dead fish, causing him to slip and whack his head.

Who cares though, right? Grady and Donna are back on (and even though they are equally derpy it’s nice to know they’ve found each other) and JB has saved the day. Again.

So until next time.

Later gang!

Later gang!

 

 

S04E18 – Benedict Arnold Slipped Here

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Back in the Cove this week Fletcherfans, where Our Heroine is doing a Good Deed and checking in on town shut-in Tilly Adams, who has unfortunately passed away. Crikey, this went dark quickly.

Meanwhile, across town, Mr Tribbles (who is not a cat) is serving Emily Goshen at his antique shop/pawnbrokers and explaining to her why she now has to pay $50 to get her brooch back (and by her brooch he means the one she stole from Tilly while cleaning her house) when his son Kevin Tribbles (also not a cat) comes barrelling in with the news that Tilly has passed away. Seeing dollar signs, Mr Tribbles orders Kevin to get his suit cleaned, they have a funeral to go to.

Wow, what a delightful bunch.

I'm not entirely sure who I think is thinking this, to be honest.

I’m not entirely sure who I think is thinking this, to be honest.

Back at JB’s for a post-funeral cup of coffee, Seth and JB puzzle over why Benny Tribble (seriously though, how is he not a cat) was crying his crocodile tears at the funeral. They’re soon joined by Amos, who notes they look like they were at a funeral.

“Pity you weren’t there Amos,” says Seth. “It wasn’t nearly as much fun without you.”

You call that a burn? THIS IS A BURN.

You call that a burn? THIS IS A BURN.

Amos isn’t just there for the coffee and the insults – he has news about Tilly’s will. Turns out, she’s left the house to a grand niece noone knew about, some flower child who wandered off after Woodstock (jealous). The contents of the house, meanwhile, have been left to Benny Tribbles for all his kindness, a though which sets Seth off on a laughing fit for about 45 minutes.

That’s not all though. Turns out, JB has been named executor of the will. Jess is surprised, but decides it’s an honour. Seth points out that her two main tasks will be getting an appraisal of the house and taking an inventory of the contents – a task she should complete by Christmas if she’s lucky.

THESE TWO.

THESE TWO.

Meanwhile, Benny has put a call in to his little brother Wilton Tibbles, who also deals in antiques but is a bit better at it than Benny. Benny offers to cut him in on the treasures inside Tilly’s house, but Wilton doesn’t want a bar of it – until his assistant shows him the cheque they just got for $12,000 for a settee Wilton scored off Benny for 70 bucks. Then his mind is changed.

JB gets to work, and asks Eve Simpson (who you might remember from this classic episode) to appraise the house while Jess starts going through Tilly’s Epic Collection of Things. Eve hasn’t got a good report for JB – basically the house is falling down around them. JB, ever looking for the bright side of things, asks Eve if it’s true that the house had something to do with the Revolutionary war – didn’t George Washington sleep there or something?

Close, says Eve. It was Benedict Cumberbatch Arnold.

True story.

True story.

Rumour has it that Sir Ben of Edict was having a grand old time with the lady of the house, which JB thinks wouldn’t impress the D.A.R. (I had to google that. And I had to google Benedict Arnold. And then I googled when the next season of Sherlock was happening (and am still none the wiser), and then I watched the trailer for Birdman for the eleventy billionth time and then it was now. )

Anyway, Eve thinks that the only part of the house that is original is part of the den. Seeing Emily come down the stairs she also remarks loudly that the house was cleaner then too.

Emily Goshen, you seem slightly unhinged, but you're okay.

Emily Goshen, you seem slightly unhinged, but you’re okay.

Eve can’t stay and chat, a David Niven sound-a-like has expressed an interest in looking at the house. JB certainly won’t keep her from that. (I had to Google David Niven too, and now I want to read his autobiography. He sounds like my kinda guy). JB checks on Emily, who has her feet up in the den. She tells JB that the business with Benedict Cumberbatch Arnold is completely true, and what’s more there’s treasure in the house, and she’s sure Tilly probably told Benny about it.

Later that night, JB gets an unexpected visitor in the form of Tilly’s grandniece Liza who would like her inheritance in cash thank you very much. (Clearly life after Woodstock hasn’t panned out). The next morning, she discovers that Liza has taken her advice to stay close literally and set up camp on JB’s back lawn, much to Seth’s amusement. Eve Simpson is less amused, as she has someone (the David Niven sound-a-like) set to buy the house, but JB is taking her job as executor very seriously. Down at Tilly’s, while Seth lazes around and is no help at all, JB comments on a cross-stitch sampler that “is not like any I’ve seen before.” It can be seen below, completely not fiddled with by me at all.

EVERYTHING IS FORESHADOWING. #crossstitchbitch

EVERYTHING IS FORESHADOWING. #crossstitchbitch

Apparently it should show the alphabet, and a homily showing off the needleworker’s skills.

Remember when I hadn't seen Breaking Bad? No, me neither.

Remember when I hadn’t seen Breaking Bad? No, me neither.

Seth, unsurprisingly, has stopped listening and has instead found a fancy chess set in a box but is devastated when JB tells him he can’t sneak it out of the house before Benny gets his paws on it. Benny chooses that moment to turn up, his brother Wilton in tow along with Wilton’s assistant Lauren Hastings. Seth and JB leave them to it, but overhear Wilton’s plans to cut his brother out of the deal. They are soon joined by Liza, who informs Benny that if he screws her over she will peel him til all that’s left is a bad smell.

I should probably point out at this point that no one has been murdered yet.

Later that night, JB gets a visit from the David Niven sound-a-like who is looking for a tour around Tilly’s house and for the record, the guy who sounds like David Niven IS THE GUY WHO DID THE VOICE OF ROBIN HOOD WHEN HE WAS A FOX YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.

It turns out Alistair Andrews is a Cumberbitch Benedict Arnold fan, to the point that he’s writing a book, so when he heard the rumours about General Arnold and his lady friend he had to come see for himself. JB hates to turn down a budding author but she just can’t spare the time. She promises him that she will tell Eve to show him around the next day. Back at the antique store, Benny has had about enough of Wilton trying to screw him over and tells him to go back to Boston.

The next morning, JB and Seth arrive at Tilly’s for another morning of hardcore cataloguing to discover the house open and Benny lying dead on the floor of the den. 24:40, and finally there’s a murder.

Amos arrives to oversee things, and immediately decides that Benny was looking up the chimney and someone hit him on the head with the poker. JB points out that it could have been the other way around, that Benny surprised an intruder.

“Yeah!” Says Amos. “And then hit him on the head with the poker!”

Eve Simpson and Alistair Andrews arrive just in time to see the body be wheeled out. JB explains to Amos that Alistair has an interest in Benedict Arnold.

“What, that traitor?” Exclaims Amos.

Not only that, it turns out, but Alistair intends to buy the house and ship it back to England where it will be a shrine to Benedict Cumberbatch Arnold.

Amos is incorrect. Tumblr was invented so that I could blog stills of The Returned and pictures of cats jumping in boxes.

Amos is incorrect. Tumblr was invented so that I could blog screenshots of The Returned and pictures of cats jumping in boxes.

JB sends Amos to get his police tape and Eve to deal with Alistair. Seth thinks they should quit taking inventory for the day, and JB agrees. When she goes to retrieve her clipboard, however, she notices that the sampler is missing from the wall. She tells Seth she wishes she had looked at it more closely (since someone deemed it important enough to steal) and Seth remembers seeing a picture of it in the town paper, and that he’ll get her a copy.

Back at home, JB finds Liza charcoaling mung beans and rice in her kitchen. She tells her about Benny’s death but Liza heard it in the radio. JB then points out that she went to check on her the previous night, and again in the morning but there was no sign of Liza. JB is interrupted by a phone call from Eve Simpson begging her to show Alistair around Tilly’s house, as there’s been a second bid for the property (from Benny’s brother Wilton). JB agrees and takes Alistair to the house, where he wants to investigate the den. Seeing lights on, Amos turns up to investigate, but when he and Jess check on Alistair, he’s standing rapturously in the den mentally composing sonnets to the Glory of Cumberbatch Arnold. Probably. He leaves, as do Amos and JB. JB asks Amos how he’s progressing with the case, but he’s got bupkiss. They weren’t able to find any evidence of a breakin, which leads him to think they should be looking at anyone with a key, namely Emily Goshen. JB dismisses this thought, saying that Emily might pilfer things here and there but she’s not a murderer.

Cut to Emily breaking into the Tibble residence to steal the brooch back, and promptly getting arrested. Amos decides to make Emily JB’s problem and releases her into JB’s care, but not before Emily rants about not knowing the sampler was important. The next morning JB reminds Seth, who shows her the picture of the sampler from the paper. She manages to work out it’s a clue to the hiding place of the treasure (in the fireplace) and calls Eve to tell her to tell any and all interested persons that the house will need to be closed until the fireplace can be fixed.

And so the cunning trap was set, and subsequently filled.

Benadryl Cummerbund. OK I think I need to go to sleep now.

Benadryl Cummerbund. OK I think I need to go to sleep now.

What can I say? He really wanted that treasure, which turned out to be angry letters Benedict Arnold’s mistress wrote about how the big B A was a traitor to everyone especially her since he got caught with the maid. If you know what I mean. Apparently there were clues to his guilt but I’ve watched this episode twice now and I haven’t noticed them. Either they were hidden or I’m so tired I can see through time.

But never mind, because guys! I have bad news! This is Amos Tupper’s last episode! He’s going off to the wild blue yonder to go fishing (probably). Let us all take a moment to remember Sheriff Tupper: the gift that kept on giving.

Naw. I'm going to miss you Amos!

Naw. I’m going to miss you Amos!

Until next time.

Later gang!

Later gang!