S01E01 – The Murder of Sherlock Holmes
Life Lesson #1: There will always be people who think smearing mud on your face will solve your problem.
Life Lesson #2: There will always be a spare 1980s Godmother Costume for those who dare to seek it.
Life Lesson #3: Lemons, milk, soda and eggs “will get the spots out of a leopard.”
Life Lesson #4: “Flowers that bloom too quickly are fair game for a late frost.”
Life Lesson #5: Vigilante justice is socially acceptable if you’re a woman in your mid 60s.
Life Lesson #6 : Be careful who you kiss, because they may turn out to have done it.
S01E02 – Deadly Lady
Life Lesson #7: A hurricane is no excuse for missing a deadline.
Life Lesson #8: The best entrance is made on a bicycle.
Life Lesson #9: If you find a heelless shoe, the heel is bound to be somewhere.
Life Lesson #10: Black clothes and a beanie = culprit.
S01E03 – Birds of a Feather
Life Lesson #11: Selling life insurance is code for being a drag queen.
Life Lesson #12: Even JB Fletcher can miss the bleeding obvious
Life Lesson #13: Always suspect anyone who thinks “If you’ll excuse me I have to fly to Vegas…hope my arms don’t get tired!” is funny.
S01E04 – Hooray for Homicide
Life Lesson #14: Just because the Almighty gave mankind a taste for lobsters, doesn’t mean he gave lobsters a taste for being boiled alive.
Life Lesson #15: Revive a swooning woman by slapping her wrists
Life Lesson #16: Always suspect the drunken skinny dipper.
S01E05 – It’s a Dog’s Life
Life Lesson #17: It is possible to swear loudly at someone without opening your mouth.
Life Lesson #18 – All Dogs Go To Heaven
S01E06 – Lovers and Other Killers
Life Lesson #19 When asked to give a university lecture, always bring humorous props.
S01E07 – Hit, Run and Homicide
Life Lesson #20: When going to stickybeak on neighbours, distract them with pie.
Life Lesson #21 – when stumped for your next move, take time out and play an early 80s arcade game.
S01E08 – We’re Off to Kill the Wizard
Life Lesson #22 – “House guests are like Halley’s Comet: enjoyed seldom, and briefly.”
S01E10 – Death Casts a Spell
Life Lesson #23 – It is possible, if not advisable, to wear a skirt while riding a motorbike.
S01E11 – Capitol Offence
Life Lesson #24 – If your stomach is growling, there’s a fox loose in the china shop.
S01E12 – Broadway Malady
Life Lesson #25 – Red and white polka dots are acceptable sartorial choices when interrogating a suspect.
S01E14 – My Johnny Lies Over The Ocean
Life Lesson #26 -There is never a bad time to hook your niece up with a hot nerd.
Life Lesson #27 – It’s important to be thorough.
Life Lesson #28 – When in doubt (act) get shitfaced.
S01E15 – Paint Me A Murder
Life Lesson #29 – ALWAYS send others into the water instead of you.
S01E17 – Sudden Death
Life Lesson #30 – To show you mean business, wear a neckerchief.
Life Lesson #31 – Open door = open invitation.
S01E18 – Footnote to Murder
Life Lesson #32 – Only meeting someone for 30 seconds doesn’t mean they haven’t bumped somebody off.
S01E19 – Murder Takes The Bus
Life Lesson #33 – “Only a fool grows ulcers over something he can’t control”
S02E01 – Widow, Weep for Me
Life Lesson #34 – Turbans. Wear them.
Life Lesson #35 – Iced tea with no lemons or chemicals is good for the blood and very invigorating.
S02E05 – Reflections of the Mind
Life Lesson #36 – No one is perfect.
S02E08 – Dead Heat
Life Lesson #37 – Greys don’t win on weekdays
S02E09 – Jessica Behind Bars
Life Lesson #38 – There is never an inappropriate way to win over a group of people
S02E10 – Sticks and Stones
Life Lesson #40 – be wary of hairy foreigners renting out your downstairs.
S02E11 – Murder Digs Deep
Life Lesson #41 – People aren’t conned, they’re flim-flammed
S02E12 – Murder By Appointment Only
Life Lesson #42 – Never stop writing.
S02E16 – Murder in the Electric Cathedral
Life Lesson #43 – Writing murder mysteries almost qualifies you to be a doctor.
S02E28 – If A Body Meet A Body
Life Lesson #44 – Women who come storming into funerals throwing wild accusations about aren’t always wrong.
S02E20 – Anyone For Menace?
Life Lesson #45 – TENNIS IS THE MOST DANGEROUS SPORT THERE IS
S02E21 – The Perfect Foil
Life Lesson #46 – Naturalist and nudist are two completely different things.
S03E04 – White Rose for Death
LIfe Lesson #47 – The trick to being a spy is to not look like a spy.
S03E09 – Obituary for a Dead Anchor
Life Lesson #48 – Yar means easy to handle.
S03E10 – Stage Struck
Life Lesson #49 – Nine months is close to a year.
S03E11 – Night of the Headless Horseman
Life Lesson #50 – ‘Polluted’ is code for drunk.
Life Lesson #51 – ALWAYS SUSPECT THE DENTIST
S03E17 – Simon Says Colour Me Dead
Life Lesson #52 – Just because there’s snow on the roof, don’t mean there’s no fire in the hearth.
S04E06 – It Runs in the Family
Life Lesson #53 – Always ask yourself, WWJBD?
S04E07 – If It’s Thursday, It Must Be Beverly
Life Lesson #54 – THERE ARE MORE THAN TWO DAYS IN THE WEEK.
S04E17 – A Very Good Year for Murder
Life Lesson #55 – In order to become a successful writer, read, read and read some more.
S04E21 – Deadpan
Life Lesson #56 – They have the internet on computers now
S05E16 – Truck Stop
Life Lesson #57 – You can reason with writers.
S05E19 – Trevor Hudson’s Legacy
Life Lesson #58 – When it comes to selling newspapers the truth is not always an issue.
S06E20 – The Szechuan Dragon
Life Lesson #59 – When in doubt, phone a friend.
S07E08 – The Great Twain Robbery
Life Lesson #60 – Just keep repeating yourself until it makes sense.
S07E11 – The Family Doctor.
Life Lesson #61 – Nothing good ever happens in a parking garage.
S07E21 – Tainted Lady
Life Lesson #62 – Coffee will answer your questions.
S08E02 – Night Fears
Life Lesson #63 – People who think they have something to prove never succeed in doing so.
S08E11 – Danse Diabolique
Life Lesson #64 – Age and experience are advantages not disabilities.
Life Lesson #65 – There are three things you can never get enough of …chocolate, friends, and the theatre.
S08E16 – Ever After
Life Lesson #66 – Success comes from within, not from out there in the world.