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S06E11 – Town Father

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Welcome to another sunny day in Cabot Cove Fletcherfans where the sky is blue, the trees are green Seth Hazlitt is feeling hearty and JB is doing a bit of reno.

 

I would watch reno shows if all the contestants had to sing while renovating. Get on to that, The Block.

I would watch reno shows if all the contestants had to sing while renovating. Get on to that, The Block.

JB is on her way to Loretta’s to get her hair did when she gets a phone call from a New York attorney, Jason Vernon, begging her to sell her house. Jess isn’t budging even if the money involved is more than she bargained for.

Clearly not Australian dollars then *shakes fist at exchange rate*

Clearly not Australian dollars then *shakes fist at exchange rate*

It’s a familiar business and Seth has a bee in his sweatband about it. Those damned city folk coming in and weekend-ising the place, driving up property values and making it impossible to get a table at the cafe in Morgan’s Bay. Not only that, but it’s mayoral election time and Seth has a bee in his bonnet about Mayor Sam Booth disappearing every July when it’s peak tourist season.

This year’s election is going to be a little different. Already another candidate Milton Overguard has thrown his hat into the ring, promising to do something about the ‘do-nothing’ mayor. Jess thinks it will be an interesting race, given that Sam usually runs unopposed but Seth thinks that Sam will be returned by the voters – or more to the point the 86% of people who stay home.

Down at Loretta’s and it’s business as usual:

You guys, this is the last episode for this gang :(((((

You guys, this is the last episode for this gang :(((((

While Ideal begs JB to write a nice magazine article instead of a creepy book (pfft) and Eve begs JB to sell her house (double pfft) they are soon joined by local snob Winifred Thayer – one of those uppity weekenders Seth enjoys so much. Eve is very put out that JB has been invited to Winifred’s party and she has not, and tries to wrangle an invitation by offering to drop off some business cards – she’s been helping a fancy New York attorney find a home, she’s sure she could do the same for some of Winifred’s friends.

Winifred suddenly remembers her parking meter and hightails it out. JB asks if the attorney happens to be Bill Vernon and Eve is horrified to discover that he’s been chasing her clients behind her back.

The conversation soon turns to the upcoming election, and while Eve is all for booting Sam out, none of them really want to vote for Milton Overguard except Ideal – after all his late wife’s cherry turnovers were amazing.

Democracy is tasty.

Democracy is tasty.

While Eve can’t argue against cherry turnovers, she does have Ideas – she thinks the next mayor should be a woman! JB tells her the sex of the mayor shouldn’t matter, to which Phyllis says “no but it helps to have some.”

:O

As Jess departs a young lady wanders in asking for directions to the mayor’s office, and introduces herself as Annie May Chapman. She also asks Loretta for an appointment for the next day, saying that there’s someone she wants to dress up for. Naturally this comment goes unnoticed.

See? No opinion.

See? No opinion.

That night Seth and Jess attend the party at the home of Winifred and Horton Thayer, which turns out to be a fundraiser for the conservation society. Both Horton and his moustache are delighted to see them, Winifred not so much.

Dat stache though.

Dat stache though.

Horton disappears to chat to the man who donated a ferrari to the raffle, while Winifred deals with some errant canapes, leading to this exchange that 100% happened I couldn’t make this up if I tried:

WHAT IS HAPPENING

WHAT IS HAPPENING

A short time later they bump into Eve Simpson, who is in a buoyant mood and has 3 people interested in buying Jess’s house.

This can only end well

This can only end well

Eve wanders off to hit on Horton Thayer, leaving Seth and JB to booze on until a woman approaches JB…

j1a
ja2

ja3

j2b

jz

shots fired.

shots fired.

Later, when Seth is (impatiently) waiting for JB outside the party, candidate Milton Overguard bails him up to ask if Seth will support Milton’s proposals for an airport for Cabot Cove. Seth tells him that the weekenders might be able to donate funds to his campaign, but they can’t vote for him. Milton storms off in a huff, leaving Seth to deal with a very worried Mayor Booth who wants reassurance that Seth won’t be voting for Milton in the next election. Seth tells Sam that his biggest asset is that he is a do-nothing mayor.

The next day…

*insert eleventy billion Tony Abbott jokes here*

*insert eleventy billion Tony Abbott jokes here*

Sam is halfway though his “I’m just a humble country mayor” routine when an invitation for people to say why he shouldn’t for mayor again goes awry. A voice pipes up from the back of the crowd, saying that Sam promised to retire after this term. And go back to Wyoming. And marry her.

It’s Annie May Chapman, that girl who was asking for directions to the mayors office the day before. When Sam suggests she’d just escaped from the Portland mental institution, she runs off crying. Loretta goes to console her while Eve cackles and Ideal thinks about cherry turnovers, probably. Loretta wants to know if Annie May has the right Sam Booth, but Annie May is sure – and she’s got the pictures of the kids to prove it.

You guys this episode is amazing.

The next day, Jess is out and about when she runs into the news about Sam. Everyone knows Annie May now, it turns out Loretta’s shop wasn’t the only place she asked for directions to Sam’s office.

To be fair, things tend to escalate quickly in Cabot Cove.

To be fair, things tend to escalate quickly in Cabot Cove.

Later that night, Jess and Seth are discussing the love life of Sam Booth (ew) when Jess gets a knock at the door. It’s two of the locals, Howard and Ebeneezer. They are concerned by recent developments making Sam unelectable, and are worried that Milton will get elected, meaning that zoning will change and CHAOS BEDLAM AND MURDER oh wait.

But it’s okay! They have a plan! They just need someone to run for mayor. Someone…like JB.

 

 

Words are meaningless.

Words are meaningless.

They think she’s the perfect candidate, she knows when to keep quiet and she’s got no history of philandering, to which Seth makes a noise into his apron WHAT EVEN IS THIS EPISODE.

Jess is flattered but declines. She’s just finished 2 books and just wants to rest/paint her house.

Howard and Ebeneezer understand. They turn to Seth. Would he be interested in running?

Sidenote: I can't believe it's been 6 season and I haven't got Liam Neeson's monologue from Taken into an episode yet,.

Sidenote: I can’t believe it’s been 6 season and I haven’t got Liam Neeson’s monologue from Taken into an episode yet,.

The next day Eve finds Milton campaigning with potholders, and bemoans his paternalistic attitudes (cue Loretta cracking a line about Sam’s paternalistic attitudes). Phyllis wanders in to report that she’s checked her records at the travel agency and  Sam has taken a trip to Casper Wyoming every year for the last 10 years. Eve thinks it’s time a woman should run and she’s just the one to do it.

Phyllis and Ideal half agree, but they have a different candidate in mind.

I'd like to think this is the same way Vladimir Putin got into politics.

Pretty sure that this is the same way Vladimir Putin got into politics.

Jess is still not running, and thinks they should all let Sam defend himself before they pillory him but Phyllis’s mind is made up. Sam has been avoiding Annie May all over town, which wouldn’t be hard considering Phyllis had to give Annie May directions to the mayors office to start with.

Well that rings a bell.

That night Eve launches her campaign for mayor, while JB decides to suss out this Annie May Chapman person. While they chat away in the kitchen JB asks her why she came to Cabot Cove and Annie May just says it’s to remind Sam of his promise to come back to Wyoming. She shows JB pictures of her kids when a gaggle of housewives come in, desperate for gossip. JB is taken by one photo, of Sam’s twin boys, which seems familiar but it’s decided that it’s because they look just like Sam. Loretta comes in to tell Annie May that Eve is looking for her and they all troop out again, leaving Loretta and JB in the kitchen. JB thinks Annie May can handle herself remarkably well, to which Loretta tells her that she might be from Wyoming, but her hair cut came from New York. Now that is an episode of CSI I would watch.

Later than night Jess returns home to find Sam luring in the bushes. He was all set to beg her to support him publicly but is convinced that her presence at Eve Simpson’s “suffragette rally” (ugh) means she’ll be supporting Eve. When JB assures him she’s not supporting anyone he flips and accuses her of running against him. Meanwhile, across town, a shadowy figure has just climbed through the window into Annie May’s hotel room and shot her, because it’s Murder She WROTE not Murder She ELECTED.

JB is woken with the news of Annie May’s death by Howard and Ebeneezer who see it as proof she should run. JB tells them to cool their jets and goes to see Sam to try and get to the bottom of it all. Sam swears up and down he had never seen Annie May before or the kids and tells the sheriff the same thing when he pops around. Outside, the Sheriff tells JB that they found an envelope with two grand in it on the nightstand, which JB thinks is ridiculous. Surely with that kind of money she would have locked the window.

The sheriff says that everyone who’s stayed at that hotel knows the windows don’t lock.

 

heh heh heh

heh heh heh

Jess still has a funny feeling about that photo and after awhile it comes to her – it’s from a clothes catalog. Mort is now even more confused – there’s no Annie May Chapman in Wyoming, Casper or otherwise. JB suggests the modelling agency behind the catalog might have more information. Meanwhile Milton comes into the sheriff’s office demanding the killer be caught immediately – this sort of thing might bring down a congressional candidate but it’s only making Sam look interesting.

Leaving the Sheriff to mull it all over, Jess goes update Seth on recent developments but he’s way ahead of her – Corinne from Loretta’s Beauty Parlour has a) sprained her ankle and b)news/gossip about the killer. They take her down to see Mort, where she confesses she’s only heard the news second hand, but word is a man was seen going into Annie May’s room the night she died. And it wasn’t Sam. She’s reluctant to admit where she heard the gossup but finally admits she overheard Ideal Malloy talking about it in the grocers.

This is not good news for Mort, who is convinced Ideal is in love with him, so he takes Jessica along for support. Ideal tells them she actually heard it from Eve, but when they catch up with her on the campaign trail she tells them she actually heard about it from Loretta. They go to see Loretta, busy styling Phyllis’s hair and she tells them Phyllis told her that morning, but Phyllis says she only heard it from Ideal. Ideal looks up from her magazine and says that that hotel was the last place you’d expect to see Horton Thayer.

“But why didn’t you just tell us earlier?” Asks JB.

“I didn’t want you to think I was a gossip.” Says Ideal.

I am going to miss Ideal

I am going to miss Ideal

Jess and the Sheriff go to visit Horton Thayer at home, where he confesses to hiring Annie May aka his former mistress Anne Mitchell to pose as Sam’s mistress to swing the election Milton’s way thereby making it easier to buy up the land (with his attorney the mysterious Bill Vernon) and start paving paradise. He went to the hotel that night to give Annie/Anne more money but he swears he didn’t kill her.

Mort doesn’t care and arrests him anyway, but Jess is unconvinced especially when Winifred comes banging into the Sheriff’s office demanding to know what Horton’s motive was since he never even knew Anne Mitchell.

Busted.

Well that's not a surprise.

Well that’s not a surprise.

What also isn’t a surprise is the election results, which Loretta delivers to JB and Seth while they’re out on their morning constitutional the next day:

Eve Simpson: 6 votes.

Milton Overguard: 19 votes

Which can only mean one thing…

Later Fletcherfans!

Later Fletcherfans!

S04E22 – Body Politic

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Down in Ohio this week Fletcherfans, where JB is visiting her friend Kathleen Laine who is running for state senate. Unfortunately for Kathleen, all anyone (particularly TV host Edmund Hall) wants to talk about is her love life and rumours that she’s been cheating on her husband and resident wealthy dude Jackson with her campaign manager Bud Johnson.

Oh the 80s. Isn’t it great that in 2014 politicians don’t resort to cheap tactics and focus on issues?

*Tumbleweed blows past, crickets chirp*

Indeed.

Unfortunately that is the least of Kathleen’s problems though, as her speechwriter has also resigned. So when JB arrives to help drum up support for her friend’s campaign, Kathleen has a favour to ask – would JB stay and be speech writer?

“Look, Kathleen, if you give me a good juicy murder and a few suspects my imagination will swing into high gear but speechifying? I’m not sure I could write on a soapbox!” says JB.

YOU GUYS JB SAID SPEECHIFYING! The only person I hear say ‘speechifying’ is me when I”m pretending to be a a country lawyer in a 1950s courtroom drama (and you’d be surprised how often this happens, I do get bored doing the dishes).

Anyway, JB is ultimately persuaded by her friend’s campaign slogan and agrees to stay for a week.

I didn't work it out until I IMDB'd. Side note that top is amazing.

I didn’t work it out until I IMDB’d. Side note that top is amazing.

The next day Edmund Hall gets an anonymous tip to go to the train station, where he gets a call on a payphone with instructions to open the phone book. Someone has very conveniently left him a key to a locker and inside the locker – an envelope containing something so shocking Ed Hall’s face begins to twitch with delight.

Meanwhile, JB is hard at work on Kathleen’s next campaign speech and getting tips from Bud. Another member of staff, Nan Wynn, arrives back from a campaign stop and tells them that the Party Chairman invited Kathleen around to his house for dinner after her speech at the old folks home.

Later that night while Jess is getting ready for bed, the eleven o’clock news comes on and it is soon revealed just what had Ed Hall palpitating with delight – pictures of Bud and Kathleen. IN THEIR BATHING SUITS! SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

Jess tries to call Kathleen’s room but there’s no answer. On her way over she bumps into Nan who has also seen the news. She can’t find Kathleen or Bud. The mystery is soon resolved when Kathleen pulls up in the campaign car downstairs to find police and onlookers surrounding the body of Bud the campaign manager – an apparent suicide.

While being questioned by local cop Lieutenant Gowans it is revealed that Bud fell from Kathleen’s hotel room balcony, while wearing her robe. Kathleen has no explanation for this, but insists she wasn’t having an affair with Bud. She gets a phone call from her husband who tells her he’s an hour away. Meanwhile, Gowan’s minions have found something in Bud’s room – specifically his pants. JB takes note of this while pointing out to Gowans that his fingerprint dude didn’t find one print on the balcony door, and that it would be weird for someone committing suicide to wipe their own prints off the handle.

Gowan confronts Kathleen with the photos but she still insists that they weren’t having an affair.  Gowans tells her that they have established time of death to be just after the news bulletin aired, and could she confirm where she was? JB tells him she was at the party chairman’s house but Kathleen tells them that when she got there noone answered the door so she sat in her car for half an hour and drove back to the hotel. With that she goes to her new room to wait for Jackson. In her old room, Gowans finds a note with polling numbers scribbled on it showing Kathleen trailing her opponent Arthur Drelinger by only 7 points. Nan tells them that she wrote the note but pushed it under the door when she realised Kathleen wasn’t back in her room (or didn’t want to be disturbed). She hadn’t told anyone else about the new poll. Upstairs, Kathleen assures Jackson that she wasn’t having an affair and he believes her. Yay!

The next morning Kathleen and Jackson call a press conference to present a united front and smack down the unbelievers including Edmund Hall. Jackson tells reporters he believes his wife, and that since she’s only 7 points down in the polls he believes she’ll win on primary day. Everything is awesome until Edmund Hall starts insinuating that Kathleen killed Bud and so Jackson goes ballistic. FFS SOMEONE CALL OLIVIA POPE.

Down at the police station Gowans is convinced that Kathleen killed Bud but hasn’t worked out how to prove it yet. He admits to JB that due to insufficient evidence the case might not ever get to trial if Kathleen was even arrested. JB is furious, as her friend is already facing a trial by media, and asks Gowans if he’d considered the possibility that someone was setting Kathleen up. He tells her that yes, the thought had crossed his mind.

“Well next time it starts crossing, Lieutenant, please stop it half way and give it some attention. I have known this woman for seventeen years and believe me, she is incapable of deceit or subterfuge. And also she is incapable of committing murder.” JB declares.

The crowd goes wild (I call myself the crowd now).

“I get it, she’s your friend I understand.” Gowans says in a tone that can only be described as Horrifyingly Patronising,

*pew pew* (I wish I could do this though)

*pew pew* (I wish I could do this though)

 

Back at the hotel Jess is waylaid by Edmund Hall who would like to offer her an open invitation to appear on his show. She tells him she will consider it if he tells her the source of the photos. Eddie is forced to admit he has no idea, he got an anonymous phone call that paid off, but he doesn’t want that info getting out.

e2

d2

JB goes to see Kathleen who is flummoxed by the thought that someone killed Bud to win an election. JB asks her about the failed dinner with the party chairman and Kathleen tells her that he never called – someone pretending to be him called Nan to set the meeting up/lure her away from the hotel. Jess decides it’s time to visit the source of Kathleen’s troubles.

Great minds think alike. Gowans pays a visit to Arthur Drelinger and his campaign manager (and shady character) CW Butterfield and discovers that their alibi is a little on the hazy side. On his way out Gowans bumps into JB and tells her that her speech got to him so he’s trying to tie off loose ends, and getting nowhere. JB has a different line of questioning, specifically about the photos. CW and Arthur both condemn the photos but get a little flustered when JB mentions the dirt file she’s heard about from an ‘unnamed source’ (Edmund Hall). They are interrupted by someone coming in with new polling info – it’s Nan. She swears to JB she wasn’t a spy for Arthur, she just followed the money and escaped the bad polls. She shows JB the polling history – Kathleen started 20 points behind, got as close as 5 points on the day of the murder but then the scandal made her drop 12.

Well that can’t be right, says JB. The polling data Nan shoved under the door had shown Kathleen down by 7.  Turns out Nan got the info wrong, but luckily the only people she told were Gowans and JB.

Wait a minute…

When JB arrives at Kathleen’s house the media pack have gathered. Kathleen is pulling out of the race. As she speaks to the media JB (and later Lieutenant Gowans) have a quiet word with the killer. They know who took the photos and sent them to Edmund Hall. They know who set up the fake meeting with the party chief. And they know who killed Bud.

This got sad rather quickly :\

This got sad rather quickly

Alas for Kathleen, her husband’s questionable business practices were not going to stand under scrutiny. And when Bud worked out Jackson wasn’t in the Bahamas at the time the photos were taken like he claimed…well you get the picture.

And so concludes season 4 of Murder She Blogged. Stay tuned for season 5 next week. But first, I have a favour to ask you all.

On October 5 I’m taking part in the 7 Parks Walk to raise money for the Cancer Council Victoria (I figured it was more of a challenge that dumping a bucket of ice water on my head). I’m almost half way to my target of $500, so if you have a few coins around that you want to give to a good cause, my supporter page is here.

Thanks gang!

Later Fletcherfans!

Later Fletcherfans!

 

S03E20 – The Cemetery Vote

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JB is off to Comstock Idaho (which is what I would imagine the middle of nowhere is called) to visit her newly widowed friend Linda Stephens, wife of the late Mayor Jimmy Stephens who died in a car crash. Only Jimmy’s father Harry is convinced otherwise, and is determined to keep digging, against the wishes of Creepy Sheriff Orville Yates and Creepy Deputy Wayne Beeler.

Jess has also arrived in town just in time for the special election to elect a new mayor, on account of the last one dropping off the perch (so to speak). Jimmy’s friend David Carroll (previously seen in X-Men as Senator Kelly, that evil so-and-so) is running to replace Jimmy but is up against Creepy Yates, who has the support of the local illegal casino owner Gil Stokes and dodgy bar owner Kate Gunnerson.

This is all quite exciting! I’m liking this episode already. Possibly because of its Glorious Lack Of Grady (GLOG).

Anyway, JB is with Linda at City Hall to collect posters to stick up around town when Harry comes barrelling in to demand a court order ordering Sheriff Yates to turn over Jimmy’s car to Linda. Harry’s convinced there’s evidence proving the car was tampered with, but initial efforts to liberate the car from the pound resulted in Creepy Deputy Beeler putting Harry in a chokehold. David gets the order from the judge, but when they arrive at the pound the car has conveniently gone missing. SHENANIGANS!

Creepy Sheriff does not take kindly to JB suggesting that he doesn’t want to disobey a court order just before an election.

(Actual line: "You must be from out of town."

(Actual line: “You must be from out of town.”

(Actual line: "Well what's that got to do with anything?"

(Actual line: “Well what’s that got to do with anything?”

(Actual line: "Folks around here know better than to make threats against the Sheriff)

(Actual line: “Folks around here know better than to make threats against the Sheriff)”

Yeah. There’s never a bad time to quote Eddie Izzard. That’s science. Anyway, JB won’t stand for Creepy Sheriff trying to get all up in her business.

Actual line: "Where I come from, no one has to. The Sheriff upholds the law."

Actual line: “Where I come from, no one has to. The Sheriff upholds the law.”

Creepy Sheriff’s response: “I don’t believe I caught your name, m’aam.” GOD IT’S JUST LIKE SHOOTOUT AT OK CORRAL EXCEPT WITH WORDS AND NOT GUNS AND TO BE HONEST I’M NOT SURE IT’S ANYTHING LIKE IT BUT NO MATTER.

That night Linda and JB are getting ready for bed when they hear glass breaking downstairs. They go to investigate, shotgun at the ready, but it’s only Harry looking for proof of Creepy Orville & Co.’s shady dealings. Linda gets upset at Harry’s conspiracy theory and goes to make coffee but Jess is convinced that Harry’s on to something. Harry finds the ring his father made, that he gave to Jimmy, and takes it back. JB finds a piece of paper with a long string of numbers and letters in Jimmy’s wallet. Harry’s eyes light up, and without any explanation he copies out the note and tells JB to tell Linda he’s off to get evidence to give to Captain Ernest Lenko at the State Police. Jess warns him to be careful and Harry tells her not to worry, he’s not getting into any “car accidents”.

Cut to Harry’s dead body being thrown out of a moving car. Sigh.

Linda is asked by Creepy Sheriff Orville to identify Harry’s body, making JB furious. She asks him why someone else can’t do it but he says it’s procedure. JB harangues until he finally tells her how Harry died – a whack on the head before being thrown out of a car. Jess asks him if he thinks it’s a coincidence that Jimmy and Harry both died on lonely roads but Creepy Orville won’t have a bar of it. Dave Carroll comes barrelling into the office demanding to know why Linda is identifying the body when surely Creepy Orville could have just confirmed the ID with Harry’s license. He also demands Orville hand over Harry’s effects – his wallet, his keys and his ring but Orville tells them that not only did he not have those things on him, but that he didn’t have boots either.

Outraged at the lack of action, JB goes to see Captain Lenko to see if more can be done. In this scene (and to be fair, the rest of them too) Captain Lenko is played by Greg’s Dad from Dharma and Greg.

Doesn't look any different.

Doesn’t look any different.

JB rages at him about the crime wave in Comstock (which is saying something when someone from Cabot Cove is calling you out on it) but Blenko knows all about it. He tells her that they’ve attempted to raid the illegal casino many times but every time they get there the crooks have been tipped off, as Blenko is legally obliged to inform Orville of an intent to raid. It even happened two nights before Jimmy died, when Orville was out of town at a convention (I’m assuming it was Comicon.) Jess tells him Harry thought he’d found proof and shows him the piece of paper with the cipher on it but Blenko doesn’t recognise it.

Jess goes to see Linda, who is packing up Jimmy’s office and tries to convince her that Jimmy was murdered but she refuses to listen. David comes in and offers JB a lift to the library, but as they walk out JB tells him she’d like to see where Jimmy died first. Jimmy’s secretary, Cindy, takes special note of the news. Dave tells JB he’ll just go and tell his secretary to hold his calls and he’ll take her out. As they are driving down the road a truck comes up behind them and starts shunting into their car. David tries to shake them off but instead veers off the road and crashes into a ditch. The ambulance arrives, followed by Creepy Orville, who is sceptical about this tale of a Runaway Truck of Doom that was so mud splattered that neither JB nor David could get a glimpse of the driver or the license plate.

That night, recovering from her bruises, JB calls Blenko and asks him about the possibility that a passing hobo could have spotted Harry’s body and taken his shoes. Blenko agrees to look into it. She also tells him about her suspicions that someone in the mayor’s office is a mole – only David, Linda, JB and Cindy the secretary knew about her and David driving out to where Jimmy died. Blenko tells her to be careful.

The next morning, George McDaniels – another friend of Jimmy and Linda’s at City Hall – calls JB in to David’s office. David’s secretary tells them that Cindy, Jimmy’s secretary, is having an affair with Creepy Deputy Beeler. The mole has been caught!

JB confronts Cindy when she arrives at the office. She swears she never told Creepy Beeler about JB and David’s trip out to the crash site, but admits that she was telling him other things but she was only doing it because he was really mean when he was angry but she couldn’t leave him because she loved him and that he was going to ask his wife for a divorce as soon as she had the baby and…

Word.

Word.

JB asks her if she told Creepy Beeler about the raid on the casino when Creepy Orville was out of town but she tells Jess that she didn’t know anything about it. JB believes her, and so asks her about the slip of paper that Harry had been so excited about. Cindy tells her they are two legal references, and offers to find them for her. When she opens to the right page, a slip of paper falls out. Jess reads it and immediately goes to show Blenko. Wedged into the notes about a case of an elected official taking bribes for political support is a sworn statement from an electrician who was called to make emergency repairs at the casino – while Creepy Orville stood around in full view of all the gambling and shenanigans. The other legal reference referred to a case of election fraud where the official used the ‘cemetery vote’ – getting voter names from gravestones a la Sideshow Bob in The Simpsons to get him over the line. That case didn’t contain any bonus proof, however.

Blenko tells JB he has news for her too – they were right about a hobo stealing Harry’s shoes. They picked him up in the next town trying to buy booze with Harry’s credit card. He had Harry’s wallet, keys and ring. JB wonders at the fact that he only had one set of keys, when Harry left Linda’s with two sets, but it’s the word ‘key’ that sets JB to thinking. She tells Blenko to set up a raid, saying that this time she thinks he’ll find more than lawn furniture.

Trap set, JB goes back to City Hall and starts talking loudly about an imminent raid on the casino. The killer, like a sucker, goes straight to a phone to call ahead and warn them but the police are already there.

The game is up, Bucko.

Never trusted him. It's those thin lips.

Never trusted him. It’s those thin lips.

Turns out the law reference to electoral malfeasance originally contained proof that David dodged up the election. David killed him when Harry was at City Hall looking for proof, and swapped the papers in the law texts over, removing the one incriminating him. Unfortunately for David he accidentally incriminated himself when he asked for Harry’s ring back at the sheriff’s office after he died. Only Jess knew he was wearing the ring again.

Phew. I don’t know about you but that was a little exhausting. Two episodes left to go this season! Stay tuned Fletcherfans!

Later gang!

Later gang!

S01E11 – Capitol Offence

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I tell you what gang, I’m pretty excited about this episode. Hold on to your bicycles guys!

After the local congressman for Cabot Cove (and the rest of Maine too, probably) turns up dead with a heart attack, the politicians are flummoxed. Who can they get to be acting congresswoman until the vote is sorted out in six weeks time?

When there’s someone dead in your neighbourhood, who ya gonna call?

Mrs Fletcher Goes to Washington

And with a blast of patriotic pipe music, our JB is off to Washington, so beginning possibly the greatest television mash-up I’ve ever invented…

YOU’RE WELCOME.

JB is met at the station by CJ Joe-the-media-advisor, who is sassy (like CJ!) and likes to wear driving gloves (like CJ, probably). At first Joe treats his new boss with epic amounts of condescension, but Our Heroine puts him firmly back in his place. He introduces her to Congressman Dan Keppner, a friend of her predecessor, as well as her assistant Donna Dianna, who promptly tries to resign but Jess isn’t having a bar of it.

Before she can even sit down Gary Parmell, a lobbyist, waltzes into the room with a big bouquet of roses to welcome her to the neighbourhood/get her vote/get in her pants. Dianna very gently gets Jess out of an awkward situation, and Jess decides she’s going to need a “fast education,” which I’m guessing is code for a double Jameson’s on the rocks, but is actually a nice cup of tea.

Jess checks into her hotel and settles into bed with her “fast education” (not a euphemism, stop sniggering), but is interrupted by a phone call from Congressman Keppner. He wants to meet her to talk about his pal Wendell’s heart attack, but Jess is plumb tuckered out, and begs off until the morning. He hangs up and runs into a girl named Marta, who tells him she was also there the night Wendell had his heart attack, and that she helped him move the body.

The plot! It is thick!

After a good night’s rest, Jess is up and ready to filibuster the hell out of something. (I’ll be honest, I’m not entirely sure what a filibuster is, but I like to say it, and I’m sure it’s possible to filibuster the hell out of something if you properly commit, and anyway…) As she leaves the hotel, a mysterious stranger follows her. SUSPICIOUS…but no, it turns out he’s just the local fuzz.

The role of Det. Lt. Avery Mendelsohn will be played by Toby Ziegler, who will be played by Herschel Bernardi

Sidenote: here’s a completely irrelevant quote from Herschel:

There are five stages to an actor’s career: who is Herschel Bernardi? get me Herschel Bernardi; get me a Herschel Bernardi type; get me a young Herschel Bernardi; and who is Herschel Bernardi?

But I digress. The Det-Lieu  wants JB’s help – it turns out that the death of the former congressman for Cabot Cove (and the rest of Maine, probably) wasn’t as straight forward as they all thought. The autopsy shows that someone moved the body, and since his stomach hurts it means that “there’s a fox loose in the china shop” (Life Lesson #24, brought to you by Confucius).

Jess is naturally taken aback by this news…

I know how she feels…

…and while she (and we all) ponder exactly who let the fox into the china shop in the first place, her new friend Congressmne Keppner has turned up passed out in the gutter and being felt up by a random hobo. Ahh, Victoria Park station, what memories we’ve had…anyway, while the congressman attempts to retrieve his wallet from the aforementioned hobo, he stumbles into a police car. Which is convenient for them, because he’s wanted for questioning for the murder of Marta Craig.

Unaware of this juicy new development, JB is kicking it in her office, reading up on a proposed cannery that developers want to build about a mile from Cabot Cove. (I’m pretty sure all of Maine is a mile from Cabot Cove, but that’s neither here nor there). Jess is all over that, but she has more pressing issues, like her predecessor getting into bed dead. She asks Donna Diana what her thoughts are, and Diana reveals the late Wendell had been invited to a party with Gary Parmell, who JB refers to as the “unctuous gentlemen with the roses”. There’s no time to dwell on that though, JB is late to a committee meeting, and after being briefly waylaid by another lobbyist named THOR DANZIGER (NOT MAKING THIS UP), JB settles in for some hardcore governing.

On a break from all that law making and speechifying, (or as I like to call it, half-time), Jess goes back to her office. CJ Joe is trying to talk Jess into having lunch with Kaye Sheppard, the local gossip columnist, which Jess doesn’t want a bar of. In her office, Avery is troubled. Keppner is under arrest, but his stomach hurts and to make matters worse his feet do to, and that means that something isn’t kosher. At the police station Keppner reveals all – that Wendell had a heart attack and that they panicked and moved the body. Marta took photos in order to blackmail him but he didn’t kill her Mrs Fletcher you’ve got to believe me! etc etc.

Avery takes her down to the morgue to look at the body.

And with that, the congressman was proven innocent. Any questions?

Avery is well pleased with this, understandably, and tells Jess she should have been a cop.

“I am a cop,” she replies. “When I’m at the typewriter.”

As I said, LIKE A BOSS. Back at the Jess Wing, JB is trying to get the skinny on the congressmen, Marta Craig, Gary Parmell, and Ray Dixon, the boss of the company who wants in on Cabot Cove. She sends CJ Joe out for information. Meanwhile, Dianna has gone home to see her boyfriend THOR DANZINGER. To be honest, I’m not sure that has anything to do with anything, but I just wanted to say his name again. It turns out he was being blackmailed by Marta too and has been helpfully sent the photos to prove it, along with a note ordering him to stay away from Mrs Fletcher.

Unlikely. The lady in question has gone off to have lunch with Kaye Sheppard after all.

Face it, that’s a Bond villan right there… the lady in the hat could be too, I guess.

The divine Ms K has information about Marta Craig, but she ain’t just giving it up for nobody, not even JB Fletcher. After a bit of wheeling and dealing, she comes clean – she saw Marta coming out of the Watergate building, looking upset and being chased by Ray Dixon. JB has a vague whiff of a scent, and she’s hot on it.

The scent takes her to Donna Diana’s home, where she and THOR DANZIGER come clean on their relationship, as well as their former friendship with Marta. Joe the press agent tells her all the goss he can garner on Marta. The scent is now a full-blown olfactory tirade. JB has worked out the killer’s identity, and now it’s all she can do to trap him and vote on the cannery bill at the same time.

First thing’s first. JB rocks the vote like a boss. Words can’t do her speech justice, so here’s a video recreation.

Oh remember when Mel Gibson wasn’t an anti-Semitic lunatic? I’d forgotten too. Anyway, one victory down, one to go. Jess goes to check on the trap she laid for Marta’s killer and happily, the killer took the bait.

Life Lesson #25 – Never trust a man who wears driving gloves.

To celebrate, Avery invites JB out for lox and cream cheese, something Jess has barely heard of but is intrigued by, natch.

And so another chapter closes on Murder, She Blogged. See you next week, Fletcherfans!