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S07E07 – The Return of Preston Giles

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Fletcherfans! Sorry about the break in transmission, the internet around here is a little patchy sometimes but it’s back and I’m back and hooray.

 

To business! But first, turn it up to 11.

The patron saint of quality footwear

The patron saint of quality footwear

Ross McKay is the new boss of Sutton Place Publishing(along with another bloke, Kendall Stafford), and has a grand plan to make the company great again. And it involves getting convicted double-murderer and former company owner Preston Giles released from prison, because that’s sound business practice.

I KNOW RIGHT? Remember that time, about a billion years ago when JB first became famous and her publisher killed someone because reasons? (and don’t bother going back to read my thoughts on the subject because I have genuinely no idea what I was talking about – the story of my life)

Well, he’s back. My god this is a throwback. Imagine if the writers of Supernatural actually resolved what happened to Dean and Sam’s half-brother Adam who has been in hell for maybe 7 seasons. Or Game of Thrones finally explaining where the bloody hell Gendry is.

Anyway.

Ross takes Preston out for a release-day lunch, and Preston finds the whole biz a little overwhelming. Ross assures him he is a man with a plan, and that plan is to get the band back together, starting with JB Fletcher.

Because there was that one time he killed a couple of guys and she busted him.  #awkward

Because there was that one time he killed a couple of guys and she busted him. #awkward

Ross is convinced that if Prseton nails JB, the rest will come a-runnin. I seem to remember Preston spending most of the first episode trying to nail JB and he got nowhere. Cough cough. Preston isn’t sure, but Ross is. JB was Preston’s discovery and JB owes him, and she knows it.

I don’t think Ross understands things guys.

Back at the office Ross gets a phone call from his wife Linette, who tells him she’s going to be away working for the weekend. And by working it is obvious what she means, as about 10 seconds later she’s making out with Kendall Stafford who tells her that the weekend is off. His wife has signed him up for some volunteer work that she forgot to tell him about. Linette understands, Ross needs her help preparing for an audit. Kendall hopes that’s all the help she’s giving him, and she tells him she’s sure it’s no more help than he’s giving his wife.

I think that’s code.

Back at the Sutton Place office Preston is moving into his office and listening to a list of things his secretary Gloria is afraid of when his arch nemesis Martin Bergman appears to deliver his thoughts on Preston’s reappearance around the office. Preston tells him the financial mess the company is in is entirely his fault. Ross McKay appears to see Martin about something, but is dismissive of Preston’s complaint that he hasn’t been able to reach Ross all week. Ross says he’ll see him soon, and Martin gives Preston a royalty cheque for JB, since Preston is going to try and see her.

Speaking of, our heroine has rewarded herself with a bit of shopping after doing a round of interviews and is heading back to her hotel room for a rest when Preston pops up, much to her opposite of delight.

The queen is not amused.

The queen is not amused.

After some hesitation, Jess agrees to lunch with Preston. He confesses that he was sent to invite JB to a dinner party being thrown by Ross and Linette, where he would ply her with flattery and promises at which point Ross would produce a cheque to seal the deal. Instead, he hands over the royalty cheque and tells JB he’s going to quit the whole thing, it’s too distasteful.

Jess returns to her hotel room to find it ransacked. A hand covers her mouth and she is shoved to the floor, but not before she gets off some scratches because JB IS BADASS. She recovers, but the burglar has taken her bag and legged it. He stops at the door and we see it’s Martin Bergman. The convicted double murderer was right about him.

The next day Preston goes to Ross’s office to resign. Ross reminds him that his parole is conditional on his employment at the publishing house but Preston says he’ll take his chances. At last Ross convinces him to stay for a month and see if he can change Preston’s mind.

Preston’s secretary Gloria tells him JB has called. He rushes over to see if she’s alright but she says she only called him to put a stop on the cheque. Preston offers to deliver a replacement cheque at breakfast tomorrow but Jess gently tells him that she doesn’t think they should see each other any more on account of he killed two people.

Over at Kendall Stafford’s office, Kendall’s wife Millie is begging him to come to dinner and the opera with her that night but he tells her he has to work late. She tells him she’s tired of being his piggy bank and he apologises, he’s just tired. Linette wanders in as Millie is leaving and Millie asks her pointedly if she’ll be working late too. Linette is pissed, Kendall is messing with the Sutton Place Publishing deal, but Kendall is too turned on by her anger to care. EW EW EW EW AND URGH.

At Sutton Place Preston is working late into the night on a presentation for Ross. Martin wanders past to tell him that a new cheque will be sent to JB in Cabot Cove as per his instructions, and isn’t it terrible about the mugging, violent times etc etc. Gloria the secretary, finshed with her photocopying is returning to Preston’s office when she starts screaming hysterically. Preston finds her running down the hallway, and Martin slumped over his desk with a letter opener in his back and a bandage on his hand where it had clearly been scratched.

Preston is naturally arrested on account of he’s already killed two people, and JB goes to see him in holding. He swears he didn’t do it but concedes that he has no alibi and tells JB to go back to Cabot Cove. She tells him not to read her mind, she doesn’t even know what she’s thinking about it all.

Jess goes to see the lead detective, Jack Slocum on the case to thank him for letting her see Preston and he wants to know what Preston told her. She tells him it’s confidential and she’ll be happy to tell him all about that and her lunch with Preston after he gets a subpoena. She spots a crime scene photo of Martin with the bandage on his hand and tells the detective about the mugger but Jack doesn’t care – he has 62 murders to solve and with Gloria willing to testify that Preston and Martin were ready to come to blows the previous day (something Preston neglected to mention to JB) Slocum is happy to have one less case to deal with.

Jess decides to go to the cocktail party after all and is wooed by Ross, while Millie Stafford seems more keen on making passive aggressive suggestions about her husband and Linette. Kendall and Linette appear from the next room looking a little shady and greet JB,

JUDGEMENT JESSICA JUDGES THE PEASANTRY

JUDGEMENT JESSICA JUDGES THE PEASANTRY

Ross finds JB later admiring the view from his window and asks her if she’s decided to take him up on his offer. She tells him it’s very generous but she will have to talk it over with her attorneys and could he keep it quiet for a couple of days. Ross feels responsible for everything that’s happened with Preston and Martin, but Jess has a funny feeling there’s more to this story than meets the eye (about 10 minutes more I should think).

On her way home after the party JB has a brainwave and heads to the police station, where Slocum’s allergies have not improved. Slocum assumes Jess received his message and returns her handbag, missing her cheque and cash. He’s in a bad mood, having just learned that someone broke into Martin’s apartment and trashed the place.

JB is onto something. It’s blackmail! Martin was blackmailing someone and that someone killed him but then someone couldn’t find what Martin was blackmailing them with and so they broke into Martin’s apartment! Partially convinced, Slocum and JB go to Martin’s office to look for evidence of blackmail and find Ross going through the drawers.

The next day Preston is released, much to his relief. JB is unconvinced, as Ross swears he didn’t kill anyone, he wasn’t being blackmailed, and he had found evidence of Martin embezzling money, which was why he was searching the office. Jess goes to see Linette, who is trying to get her husband out of prison, but has nothing to say on the subject of what Martin might be blackmailing him with. But when JB tells him she won’t enjoy the financial repercussions of Ross’s imprisonment, and she comes clean. Ross and Kendall were involved in a fraud many years ago that Martin found out about and blackmailed them with. Linette swears though that Ross was home with her at the time of the murder. That moves suspicion onto Kendall, but Preston stops JB from calling the police. He has a thought on that but he needs to be sure first. He tells her he’ll call her later and goes back to work.

Later that night he’s still working in his office. Unable to get hold of him, a worried JB gets Slocum to drive over there to make sure everything is okay but unfortunately the killer got there first.

Not so passive aggressive then.

Not so passive aggressive then.

Sick of footing the bill for the blackmail of her husband, Millie decided to take matters into her own hands and bumped off Martin. When she saw the note from Preston to her husband saying he had the papers she took matters into her hands again and demands the papers from Preston. When he tells her they are in a safe place where noone will find them. she says she believes him and shoots him in the chest.

Jess and Slocum arrive just as Millie leaves the building. Slocum holds her while JB rushes upstairs to find Preston dying. He tells her they caught her and manages to say “tape” before he dies. Jess finds the tape recorder and begins to listen to Millie’s confession.

And that’s the end? This might be the darkest episode to date :S

On that miserable thought…

SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHERE THE HELL IS GENDRY FOR GODS SAKE

SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHERE THE HELL IS GENDRY FOR GODS SAKE

 

S07E06 – A Body To Die For

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Bahahaha.

Elliptical bikes? What fresh hell is this???

Active resentment

This torturous scene is taking place in Wayne’s Workout Gym, the hottest (and I assume only) gym in Cabot Cove and the new place to be for All Da Single Ladies, because this guy:

So 80s.

So 80s.

While the rest of the girls go for an orange juice Eve is back to work meeting with a prospective buyer for the old Sulivan farm, the recently widowed sports car driving Fred Keppard. As they drive out to the farm Eve can’t help honking the horn and waving to all  the passers-by, including Our Heroine out for a bike ride with Wayne devotee Nancy (aka Sally Struthers) and Ben Devlin. Ben wonders about the car, Nancy wonders about the man with Eve in the car and JB is sure they will hear all about it soon enough.

Obviously, JB is right and the next time she sees Eve she gets the full lowdown on Fred Keppard’s many great qualities. That all flies out the window when they reach the drug store and JB drops off her film to be developed. Wayne is strolling the aisles and flexing his muscles and Eve can’t wait until she introduces him to JB.

Wayne is delighted, naturally, but says they aren’t strangers – JB was in his bedroom just last night.

c2 d2 e2

Eve tries to lure JB into coming down to the gym for a workout, apparently Wayne has developed the perfect stress reduction program. Jess declines, saying her stress reduction program involves taking it out on her rose bushes.

Eve then asks Wayne when she can book a private – Wayne says he can do her about 9pm at her place.

JB is not sold.

JB is not sold.

Wayne departs, leaving Eve breathing heavily. JB points out that not that long ago (literally, minutes) Eve was gushing about Fred Keppard. Eve agrees that Fred is more her intellectual equal etc etc, but Wayne is pure hormones.

 

I know the feeling.

I know the feeling.

Eve and JB depart, leaving Wayne to conclude his business at the chemist. Nancy offers to sell him some discounted aftershave, but her husband Clarence orders her to go open the new box of dental floss. Wayne isn’t in the market for buying, he’s selling – his new line of health cocktails. Locals Joe Hardin and his wife Lily arrive at the counter, and Lily has nothing but praise for the cocktails – she has three a day. Joe (aka Blake Lively’s Dad) has a bone or two to pick with Wayne, in particular about Wayne selling Lily a $99 custom made shower head guaranteed to spray her with vitality. “Well I’m the only one going to spray my wife with vitality,” says Joe.

I MEAN COME ON NOW

I MEAN COME ON NOW

Joe and Wayne start punching on, but Wayne ends up victorious. Presumably because of all those workouts.

Meanwhile, Eve and JB decide to grab a bite to eat when Eve gets wind that one of her sales is about to fall through and she will have to drive over to Rockport that night. She was very upset to cancel her massage with Wayne but apparently not as upset as he was.

 

I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO"S GONNA SPRAY MY WIFE WITH VITALITY I MEAN WHAT

I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO”S GONNA SPRAY MY WIFE WITH VITALITY I MEAN WHAT

They are soon joined by Fred Keppard who has something he wants to discuss with Eve, so JB excuses herself. Fred has a confession to make – he can’t buy the farm, all his money is tied up in a Candian oil venture, and he’s devastated because just quietly a shopping centre is being built next to the Sullivan farm and that land is going to be worth millions.

Eve’s pupils turn into dollar signs. She has money! And what’s more she has clients who have money! She tells Fred that on her return from Rockport later that night they can go through her client files and see who might invest in such a golden opportunity.

The day passes. Wayne is closing up the gym for the night when Fred appears. He’s impressed with his protege’s latest scam, it almost seems legit. Wayne tells him it is legit, but Fred has his eyes on a bigger prize and wants to use Wayne’s status with the Cabot Cove ladies as an in. Wayne doesn’t want a bar of it, but Fred assures him they will talk again. Later that night, Mort is doing a driveby of the gym when he sees what looks like torchlight coming from the gym. He goes to investigate and find Joe Hardin looking suspicious (and holding a shower head #vitality)

Even returns from Rockport in a buoyant mood and calls Fred but there’s no answer at the hotel. While she gets the receptionist to try his room again, she suddenly notices her papers have been gone through on her desk. And Fred Keppard is dead on her floor.

While Mort and Deputy Floyd investigate, JB arrives to console her friend. Eve swears up and down that she and Fred were nothing more than business partners but Mort (and I’m guessing JB) are suspicious, since the door was locked. The CSI team tell Mort that Fred was most likely killed with a shotgun, from 10-15 feet away, which explains why people heard a car backfire around 9:15. Jess tells Eve to pack a bag and come and stay at House Fletcher for a few days.

The next morning, Eve and JB are discussing the case, and the fact that Fred knew Eve wouldn’t be home the night he was killed, when Mort appears. They found Fred’s car 3 blocks away from Eve’s which makes Mort think Fred didn’t want anyone to know what he was up to at Eve’s.

Eve declares Fred wouldn’t have been up to anything her bedroom without her.

TOO MUCH VITALITY

TOO MUCH VITALITY

Side note. I unironically want JB’s cardigan and I am not kidding.

Seriously though I love it I want it.

Seriously though I love it I want it.

Mort tells them they are having trouble locating Fred’s next of kin. Eve remembers him saying that he had a daughter at college but that he didn’t tell her the name of his daughter or the college. Mort finds the whole thing suspicious, until a phone call from his deputy reveals the truth – Fred was a conman with a long record.

Eve is devastated – it’s clear to her now that Fred was in her bedroom looking for clients to swindle. Jess asks her who else knew Eve wouldn’t be home that night but she can’t think of anyone. JB can – Wayne Bennett knew after Eve cancelled her massage.

Down at the Sheriff’s office Joe Hardin is awaiting the arrival of his lawyer and having breakfast in his cell with his wife. Talk turns to Fred’s death but neither of them knew Fred – although Lily is quick to mention that Nancy saw Eve with Fred in his sports car the other day. Hearing talk of the sports car makes Fred stop. He tells Mort he was nearly run down by a red sports car the previous night and thinks Mort should go talk to Wayne Bennett, since Joe saw the dead guy leaving the gym.

Mort takes himself down to the gym and is horrified by the estrogen levels in the gym. It turns out Mrs Mort is also a member, and Wayne comments on her progress. Mort knows, he just paid the bill. He notices the juices behind the counter and Wayne gives him one on the house. Mort picks it up between two fingers and says he’ll save it for the car. Outside, he beams to himself. FINGERPRINTS!

That night, Ben is at House Fletcher trying to get the scoop on the situation from Eve who isn’t saying a word about it. Getting nowhere, Ben storms off leaving JB to chase after him since he’s supposed to be giving her a lift to the drug store. When they arrive the store is silent, but Clarence pops out and apologises – he’s been short staffed, Nancy had to go up to Augusta to take care of her sister.

The next day, Eve is back at Wayne’s World Workout Gym facing the gossips who are full of theories as to why Fred was in Eve’s house. Wayne himself is more concerned with the absence of Nancy La Rue, apparently still in Augusta. Mort appears and declares class dismissed. Wayne Bennett aka Wayne Freeman is under arrest for Fred’s murder, much to the shock of Betty, someone who I’m almost positive hasn’t been in this episode up til now.

Hysterical, Eve calls JB to sort it out so she heads on over to the sheriff’s office where Mort is holding court. Wayne confesses to being in prison but says he wanted to go legit when he came out. Confronted with the news that Joe Hardin saw Fred leaving Wayne’s World Gym the night he was killed he tells them that Fred wanted Wayne in on the scam he was working with Eve Simpson but that Wayne said no. Asked for his whereabouts Friday night, he says he was home alone watching TV. Mort asks Deputy Floyd to take him back to his cell, and JB offers to have a quiet word with him, to see if he might open up to her. It’s to no avail – clearly lying about where he was the night of the murder, Wayne tells her that all he can say is that he didn’t kill Fred.

JB is at the supermarket, going about her JB business when Betty approaches her. She needs Jessica’s advice.

It's Cabot Cove sunshine, who doesn't need her advice?

THAT FACE

Betty tells Jess that she doesn’t know why Wayne won’t tell the truth about where he was the night of the murder. He was with her until the sun came up.

 

*mumbles something about vitality*

*mumbles something about vitality*

JB says she understands, Betty wants to help Wayne. But Betty doesn’t think Jess does understand. Wayne has been Betty’s husband for the last 9 months.

I wondered what Betty's point was.

I wondered what Betty’s point was.

Down at the Sheriff’s office Mort has had just about enough of this. Word is out that Wayne is off the market and there’s a run on the gym to cancel their memberships. Eve and Jessica wait outside Eve’s house for Mort to finish up at the crime scene and through the darkened window they mistake Floyd for Mort.

This gives JB an idea. Maybe that’s what happened the night of the murder. A case of mistaken identity, if you will. Someone who didn’t know that Eve had to cancel her “massage” with “Wayne”.

Mort is not impressed with this new theory. Half the men in town wanted to kill Wayne Bennett.

“Except you Sheriff!” Says Deputy Floyd.

“Thanks Floyd.” Says Mort, exasperated.

Oh Floyd

Oh Floyd

Mort begins to develop a theory that Joe Hardin is the killer until Floyd nails it again by pointing out he was already in police custody. But that’s enough to get Eve and JB thinking. Nancy knew about the appointment and she’s been missing for the last two days.

COULD IT BE…

p2

Sorry guys. Not actually true.

When Mort, JB and Floyd go to see the La Rues at home and drill Nancy for her whereabouts the night of the murder, and she swears up and down she wasn’t even in town. She gives them the name of the hotel she stayed at and Floyd goes to give them a call and check it out. JB thinks its weird that Nancy stopped at a hotel an hour away from her destination but she says she was tired and waited til morning. When Jess comments on a bruise under Nancy’s eye the truth comes out. Clarence had been drinking and hit her so she took off before he could kill her.

Floyd returns with the news that Nancy had only checked out of the hotel that day and Mort decides she’s off the hook. He was clearly barking up the wrong tree.

“Not the wrong tree,” Says JB, “The wrong branch. We both were.”

To be fair I didn't see this coming either

To be fair I didn’t see this coming either

Not satisfied with his wife’s pleas that she wasn’t sleeping with Wayne, Clarence took matters into his own hands. Also a shotgun.

And on that note,

If you'll excuse me I'm just going to get sprayed with vitality.

If you’ll excuse me I’m just going to get sprayed with vitality.