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S12E07 – Nan’s Ghost (Part 2)

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Ghosts! Traysure! Our Heroine stuck in a dungeon! Fletcherfans this second half has a lot to live up to so let’s get to it before I start googling pictures of Olivia Coleman holding her Oscar again.

After conducting a thorough search of the dungeon and finding only some writing scratched on a wall, Jess takes time out to maintain her energy.

Life Lesson #77 – Always carry caramels in your handbag for when a ghost has trapped you in an Irish dungeon.

Also, you can melt them down and pour it over brownies and then put more brownie batter on top and make caramel stuffed brownies and you’re welcome.

Meanwhile, over at Nan’s father’s store, Dr Sullivan has broken in to hunt through Nan’s things. He takes off when Jack hears him.

The next day Eileen and Rory are getting more and more concerned about the lack of Jessica in their lives. Rory’s rung around the hotels in Dublin but none are currently holding Jess. Eileen decides to try her publisher while Rory heads to the Guarda station. On his way out he bumps into Mrs Nader and Paul Lafferty, who are keen to get the hotel building situation happening quick. Apparently, Vincent’s murder doesn’t change anything.

After a rough night sleeping on a tomb, JB orders the rats to stay away from her breakfast (more caramel) and gets to work saving herself. She up-ends her handbag (contents of which include a tissue, a purse, a day planner, some sort of compact and a nail file), and gets to work prising a metal ring out of the rock using the nail file.

Down at the Guarda station, Rory bumps into Superintendent Joyce and Matthew Ryan, who tell him that Jessica definitely didn’t leave in a cab like Zuleika said she did, but she totes could have left on the bus. They’ve also found the weapon that killed Vincent Nader but Rory isn’t terribly bothered about all that. Afterwards, Joyce tells Matthew that his fling with Zuleika was no one’s business.

In the dungeon, JB gets the metal ring out of the stone and has a crack at throwing it through the window. She misses.

Rory heads back to the castle, where Eileen informs him that JB’s publisher didn’t even know she was in Ireland, much less have an appointment. Rory gets a phone call from his mystery informant about the money laundering and arranges to meet him the next day. He’s perplexed by the informant saying it’s getting too late but has bigger fish to fry. He sends Moira off to find Ian and he and Eileen start searching the grounds.

After three attempts, JB manages to smash the glass in the window. Unfortunately, no one hears her yelling but luckily for her Rory is on his game, spots the broken glass and realises she’s in the old wing. They rush to get her out, and Jess tells them she is convinced that Nan was murdered.

Arthur Joyce is unsurprisingly hesitant to cast aspersions on Zuleika and insists it might be possible JB was trapped by accident. JB isn’t having a bar of it, but Rory tells her to calm down Joyce is probably a good cop. A call comes from Jack Conroy to say that JB’s pottery has arrived, and so she heads over to collect it – taking with her the piece of treasure that Nan had given Moira.

Out in the gardens Ian is fighting with Deidre over the future of the castle when Matthew Ryan pops in to say that his sister is in labour and there are all sorts of problems and they can’t find the doctor Deidre is the only person who can save her. Back at the Guarda station, the recently widowed Mrs Nader tells Peter Franklin that her new BFF and Hans Gruber impersonator Paul Lafferty will get him the best attorney there is but there’s nothing more to say. Meanwhile, Lafferty has just discovered his foolproof financing plan was not so foolproof, and he’s not the only one who knows. Dr Sullivan will keep his mouth shut – for a price.

JB speaks to Jack Conroy about the night he found Nan’s body and he tells her he’d heard the rumours so he went for a walk in the woods that Sunday night and followed Nan’s ghost. He’s heard Sullivan’s stories of the Cromwell treasure selling at auction but he doesn’t want anything to do with any of it. JB relays this back to Rory, who thinks this might help with his money laundering investigation.

Later that night Dr Sullivan plays his card and offers to take the castle off Eileen after a 1-year lease but Eileen wants to see some paperwork, while Ian eavesdrops. JB gifts Nan’s painting to the castle. Rory gets off the phone and announces someone by the name of Rafaella Sabatini has been the one auctioning off the items and JB recalls Zuleika’s novel, in which David Hasselhoff and Mel Gibson cross swords over the busty heroine Rafaella.

Nope still not good. But Rory thinks she has a point and wants to have a word with Dr Sullivan – except he’s just slunk out into the storm. Ian notices this and follows him, demanding what Sullivan is plotting. By the time JB and Rory catch up, Sullivan is dead on the ground, a pitchfork sticking out of him. Rory hears someone moving about and goes after them, only to receive a whack to the head for his trouble. JB asks Dr Sullivan who did it and he says something like “choice…treasures…are there” before he shuffles off.

Superintendent Joyce takes statements but he’s mystified and sends them all to bed. JB is convinced the same killer killed all three people. Deidre returns home from a 20 hour delivery and has a victory pash with Officer Ryan. The next day Peter Franklin is released after Joyce gets some troubling results back. They head up to the castle and arrest Ian, who denies everything. Rory and Deidre discuss the situation down the pub, and Diedre is delighted with the idea that Rory would chuck his career away to save Ian and make Eileen happy but she doesn’t know where he was at the time of the murder.

JB takes Moira down to look at the Gaelic graffiti she found. She’s sure Nan wrote it before she died, and Moira tells her it is “chloisteáil mo ghlór” which translates to “hear my voice”. JB wonders whether she was referring to a recording or a tape, and this gives Moira an idea. Fun fact, Pog Mo Thoin allegedly means kiss my arse in Gaelic.

Rory has a chat with Ian who is as usual full of bluster but swears he didn’t kill anyone. A phone call comes for Rory from his money laundering spy asking to meet that night. Back at the castle, Moira finds a tape called ‘Hear My Voice’ which is Nan speaking in Gaelic about things and a Mr Buttons and dirty digits. Leonard the head chef casually eavesdrops.

It really is though.

JB calls Rory at the pub to tell him THE TRAYSURE IS REAL AND THERE’S A MURDERER CALLED MR BUTTONS AND OR DIRTY DIGITS but Rory hasn’t got time for that right now. JB finds Peter Franklin back from Dublin and he tells her he couldn’t find the guy who set him up – also he’d totally gotten it wrong the pub was in Grafton Street, not Harcourt Street.

As usual, JB is all over it.

Rory goes to meet his money laundering spy and finds him lying under a tree bleeding out – it’s Leonard the chef. Meanwhile, JB lays out a Daring Plan to catch the killer and find the treasure in one hit.

That old chestnut.

Because you guys. Dr Sullivan muttered “Arthur Joyce…treasures”, and Arthur knew where Peter had been set up before Peter did. Joyce wanted all the money for himself so he killed anyone who stood in his way.

Another job well done. And now Eileen is off on a dirty weekend with Rory, Zuleika is under arrest in Malaga in Spain and JB had an idea for a new story in which the only treasure will be the words she uses which she will find in her head.

I think JB was well into the whisky at this point. Which isn’t a bad idea, come to that.

Later Fletcherfans!

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S12E06 – Nan’s Ghost (Part 1)

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Welcome to jolly old Ireland where a man is chasing a ghost through the woods and finds the remains of his daughter in the ruins of a castle. Grim.

In happier news, Jessica is back in Whisky Land to see her old pal Inspector Rory Lanahan and drive down to see his old flame Eileen (both of whom have been in the other Ireland episodes, but not together guys it’s all coming together). Rory’s decided he made a mistake 30 years ago and he’s going to marry her – I mean let’s just see what Eileen thinks about all this, she’s only been a widow two years everybody calm down.

As they leave, a man who had been eavesdropping on their conversation bumps into Jessica and apologises profusely. He also steals her wallet which is a bit rude.

Also on their way to the village is Vincent Nader and his wife Andrea. Vincent’s in town to do some sweet sweet business transacting and his local partner  Paul Lafferty is channelling Die Hard Alan Rickman…

I’m not wrong about this.

Jess and Rory arrive at Eileen’s castle just in time to see the local police conducting their investigation now that Nan Conroy’s body has been found. They all thought she’d taken off to Belfast with a boy but instead, she was trapped in the crypt and died. SO GRIM. Superintendent Arthur Joyce slyly congratulates Rory on his promotion and says it will be a relief to have someone in town who can show them all the latest procedures but Rory says not to worry he’s on his holiday. Eileen tells Jess her daughter Deidre will be back for dinner, and her son Ian is in the town buying new farm equipment.  This is a surprise for Rory, who thought Eileen was moving to Dublin and Eileen says it is eventually despite Ian trying to talk her out of it.

Down at the pub, Ian is having a chat with Officer Matthew Ryan who is very keen to see Ian’s sister Deidre but Ian tells him to lose the lovesick look first. Vincent arrives and is happy to talk up the job prospects of the new hotel but Ian is adamant his mother won’t sign the contract. Meanwhile, Rory pops down to the Garda station and it is revealed he’s not on holiday at all, he’s investigating a money laundering scheme.

That night there’s a storm and a shindig at the castle. Deidre tells Jessica about her plans to be a doctor before being dragged off by loverboy Matthew so JB has a cuppa with Moira the maid instead.

Tea with the queen.

Rory has a chat with Doctor John Sullivan, who is an expert in the Cromwell period (aren’t we all though really) and is getting on Rory’s nerves with his familiarity with Eileen. JB drags him away to tell him she can’t find her wallet. Meanwhile, Eileen’s new head chef Leonard turns out to be spying on Mrs Nader who is cheating on her husband. He asks Vincent for more money but Vince is having none of it and says if Leonard blabs Eileen will find out she’s hired an ex-con.

Jessica meets romance novelist and resident lush Zuleika Brown who tells JB about her latest work in progress in which David Hasselhoff and Mel Gibson cross swords over the busty heroine Rafaella.

This was also my response, except I spat my tea all over the keyboard first.

Jess is convinced she’s met Zuleika before, but Zuleika tells JB not to strain herself, she’ll live to regret it. Or maybe she won’t!

I think we’ve all met a Zuleika at a party before.

Rory gets a phone call from a mystery person saying he knows all about the money laundering situation and he’ll be in touch shortly. Eileen brings over a surprise guest to see JB – it’s the wallet pincher from the start of the episode, except he tells JB he found it after she left and wanted to return it while he was hitching to Tipperary which as we know is a long way. Later, JB tells Rory she doesn’t believe a word of what he said.

Later, Eileen shows JB to her room in the old wing and says not to worry, the noises are just Nan Conroy’s ghost. JB’s not having a bar of it but later in the night she goes investigating and bumps into Rory, who has heard the same noises.  They don’t find anything and Rory takes himself back to bed. Jessica is about to do the same when she sees a ghostly figure walk down the hallway and disappear.

The next day a service is held for Nan Conroy. Her father sends word to JB via Moira that he thinks Nan was murdered. Ian begs Sergeant Loverboy with some help holding up Nader’s hotel plans but Loverboy won’t be a party to it. Peter Franklin comes across Andrea Nader out in the garden and the mystery of who Andrea’s piece on the side is is solved. She tells him it’s over but she has a funny way of showing it. Apparently, Peter met some rando in a pub who offered him five grand to come do a job in Ballynook. Totes convenient. Inside, Ian has a fight with his mother in the kitchen about selling the castle to Vincent Nader.

Down the pub that night Rory sees Dr Sullivan badgering Jack Conroy and calls his station to get more info on Jack. Superintendent Joyce steps in to stop a young local harassing Zuleika and requests the honour of driving her back to the castle. The next day the Superintendent pops in to inform Ian that someone has stolen paperwork relating to the hotel and he wouldn’t know anything about that would he? Moira tells him Ian was with her the night before, which no one believes. Sergeant Loverboy quietly calls them both idiots as he walks after Joyce, and Ian swears he didn’t take the papers but he’d love to know who did.

JB and Eileen take a turn about the gardens and the churchyard and Eileen tells JB the story of Mary O’Hara who seduced an English guard, murdered him and then hid the Cromwell treasure. She haunts the gardens on Midsummers Eve, dontcha know. Jess thinks this is all much more serious than that and goes to see Jack Conroy but he takes back everything he said, it was the grief talking. JB spots a painting of Mary O’Hara’s grave that Nan painted and Jack gifts it to her.

At the castle that night Moira hunts for Ian while Deidre and Sergeant Loverboy have a tiff. Vincent Nader gets a phone call and goes outside, followed by Peter Franklin who is followed by Ian O’Bannon. Vince meets someone, who shoots him dead and is gone by the time Peter Franklin is on the scene.

Superintendent Joyce is on the case and is curious to know why Andrea slept apart from her husband the night before, but she says it was because she wasn’t feeling well. He informs her they found a letter that signalled Vincent’s intent to divorce her and mentions Peter’s name. Peter steps forward and Joyce tells him not to leave town.

Jess and Rory adjourn to a cafe and Rory finally admits he’s not on holiday, he’s investigating money laundering coming out of Ballynook. Jess thinks this is all tied up with Nan’s death but Rory just warns her to stay out of it. Neither of them notices Zuleika sitting behind them listening in.

Back at the castle, Moira confronts Ian about where he was at the time of the murder but gets nowhere. Joyce has a clandestine makeout session with Zuleika that we all could have done without frankly. Jess finds treasure in her bag, and Peter Franklin is arrested. Jessica arrives just in time to hear him tell Andrea to find the man who set him up, and Joyce explains that apparently Peter met some rando in a pub in Grafton street and it’s all gone on from there. Dr Sullivan spots the treasure in JB’s hand but sadly tells her it’s a fake. When JB returns to her room though she finds Moira lurking and she tells her it’s real, Nan found it and her father gave it to Moira. The Cromwell treasure is real.

Speaking of, Dr Sullivan goes to see Jack Conroy and apologise for getting up in his business at the pub, and to find out what he knows about the treasure, which is definitely real and someone is selling it up north for a mint. Jack stops Sullivan going through Nan’s things and throws him out.

Rory goes to see Peter – Peter explains the whole thing about he was meant to be in the garden at 8pm to receive a package but the man never showed and now he’s arrested for murder instead. Back at the castle, Zuleika says goodbye to JB, she’s hitting the road. Not a minute later JB gets a call from a friend in the States who confirms that Zuleika went to prison for her part playing a ghost in a confidence scam. Jess calls the garda house looking for Rory but Joyce tells her she just missed him. Eileen tells her Zuleika is upstairs so Jessica goes to confront her.

Walking through the old wing she hears crying and finds an unfamiliar door open. She steps through it and it is slammed shut behind her, leaving her trapped.

Later that afternoon Eileen and Rory go looking for Jess but Zuleika tells them Jess went to Cork to fly to Dublin for a meeting, anyway she must be off, pip pip.

And so we leave our heroine trapped in the same dungeon where Nan died, and the rats are coming out of the walls.

Stay tuned Fletcherfans!

DUN DUN DUN!

 

S12E05 – Home Care

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Once upon a time in Boston, a nurse runs away from a doctor in a car park.

Once upon a slightly later time in Cabot Cove, an old man lies in a coma while his grandson Justin Haynes cracks jokes (read the room buddy) while his mother Serena worries that the nurse will be late because she’s having her hair done (OK never mind). Fortunately, the nurse arrives on time and it’s a completely different nurse from the start of the show- jk it’s the same one.

JB is back in town to check on her friend Maggie, home from the hospital but depressed following her illness. Mort thinks Jess is just the person to cheer her up, being as Jess is Maggie’s oldest friend – a title JB wishes Mort had phrased better. Meanwhile, Seth finds Lila the aforementioned nurse is sitting at a bus stop about to leave town after the old man Horace Gibbs passes away. Seth hopes the tears aren’t for Horace – he was Seth’s patient too and he’s not crying. He knew the old coot since he was a middle-aged coot (direct quote).

“I know it’s not politically correct to say so,” says Seth…

(The universe collectively holds its breath).

“…but Horace died of old age.”

It is inconceivable that I try and write that out again it took me bloody ages guys sometimes this blog is really hard.

Seth gets a page (nawww) and has to duck over to see his next patient.  JB’s friend Maggie is in bed and has just received a packet of golf balls as a get well soon present from her friend Henry. Her niece Dorie has also been in to offer her help and move back in but Maggie won’t have a bar of it apparently because Dorie is living in sin with her boyfriend.

Downstairs Dorie finds her cousin Eddie going through their aunt’s things.

The man has now officially been in everything.

Eddie is rummaging around looking for his aunt’s will, which Dorie is not pleased about. Eddie thinks that’s a bit rich when he hears Dorie was trying to move back in. Dorie summons her sin boyfriend Jason Giles to witness Eddie’s rummaging.

Jessica arrives into this whole situation and is met at the door by Maggie’s housekeeper Sarah McCoy just as her husband Lucas is taking off for the pub.  Maggie is delighted to see her as is Seth, who hopes that this will put an end to her complaining about not being allowed outside. She’s home to get well.

Jason takes Dorie to see a potential site for her boutique but it’s way more than she can afford. No sweat, says Jason, just ask Maggie for more money. Dorie’s not keen on this idea either and is frustrated by Jason’s promise they are about to get super rich so he doesn’t need to take the job at the newspaper.  Jason convinces her to go sign a lease and goes on his merry way. Dorie runs into Justin Haynes who seems pretty keen to pick up where they left off back in the day but Dorie is quite happy with Jason thank you very much. Jason and Justin have been chatting though, which is apparently odd. Across town, Mort runs into Justin’s mother Serena who is adamant her father was murdered, and that Mort needs to exhume his body immediately.

That night Jess reads to Maggie and freaks out when Maggie appears to be dead but Seth tells her it’s just the medication and not to worry. Jess bloody well will worry though, Maggie needs constant care and she’s not sure she’s getting it. Seth’s taken care of that though – and in walks Lila with some ominous music.

Before she can start bumping anyone else off though Mort wants a chat down at the Sheriff’s office. Mort’s not taking Serena’s claims super seriously he’s just putting in the appearance. Some items went missing from the house on top of the murder that wasn’t (or was it?) but Lila denies being involved in anything ever and Mort sends her on her way.

Down by the water, Justin and Jason meet to talk business – Jason’s big plan involves old people and timeshare (I think) and while Justin is interested he says the bank won’t go for it, Jason is too big a risk. Jason is furious and thinks this has to do with Dorie but Justin swears it doesn’t. Later Justin runs into Mort who tells him about his mother’s exhumation plans and he tells Mort not to worry about it, he will take care of his mother. Jason decides to pitch his scheme to Henry.

Over at Maggie’s Lila does her best to cheer Maggie up with a fresh new do, but Maggie won’t have a bar of it and smashes the handmirror Lila gives her to check it out. If you’re imagining that scene in Batman with the Joker then you’re absolutely correct and also you’re me how did that happen? Sarah McCoy lurks in the hallway as Lila storms out. Maggie gets an angry phone call from a mystery person and she yells at them and hangs up. Jessica arrives for the tail end of it but Maggie doesn’t want to talk about it and instead tells Jessica about how she’s going to buy a piano for Dorie.

“What a grand present!” Says JB.

She doesn’t get paid, it’s tribute from her loyal subjects.

Lila knocks her medical bag flying and pills go everywhere. Maggie asks Jessica if she remembers where she keeps the recipe for her grandmother’s applesauce cake – JB does, she hasn’t made one in years but if that’s what Maggie wants then absolutely. Downstairs the Real McCoys chat about the rumours swirling around Cabot Cove about Lila – well Sarah does, Luke’s heading to the pub again.

Jess’s getting in on the rumour action too, much to Seth’s amusement. He tells her that of course, Lila’s bag was full of pills, she’s a nurse and they were probably also vitamins and what not. He’s positively tickled when Jess says Mort said the same thing.

There is no more bone-chilling sight than Seth lording it over Our Heroine

That night Seth is furious when he learns that Mort’s sent off some enquiries down to Boston, where Lila was nursing before she came back to the Cove, but Mort tells him it’s more so he can calm down Serena Haynes. The results come back and they aren’t good – four of Lila’s patients in Boston died of poison but there was never enough evidence to charge Lila. Jessica is worried about Maggie so Mort Seth and JB choof over to Maggie’s – but it’s too late. They find Lila standing catatonic in Maggie’s room while Maggie lay dead in her bed, a finger pointing to the chapter title of the book she was reading.

What. A. Mystery.

The next morning an angry mob forms in front of the Sheriff’s office baying for blood. The sheriff tries to answer their questions and Jean the librarian backs him up.

But enough about that, because you guys here’s the thing about Jean the librarian that I only just learned.

This is Madlyn Rhue

Madlyn Rhue was in a bunch of things but was diagnosed with MS. Angela Lansbury heard that Madlyn was in danger of losing her Screen Actor’s Guild medical coverage due to not getting any roles, and so created the role of Jean O’Neill so that Madlyn would meet the minimum requirement in order to keep her medical benefits. Madlyn Rhue passed away in 2003.

You guys, Angela Lansbury really is better than all of us. RIP Madlyn.

Anyway, Serena rolls into the press conference/angry mob in full Helen Lovejoy mode baying for Mort’s head.

Seth and Mort visit Lila in the cells. Mort asks what happened, and Seth chimes in but Mort warns him off. Lila doesn’t really know, she heard voices and she found Maggie but it’s all a blur. She doesn’t admit to anything about the old people in Boston.

Time presumably passes. Jess and Seth roll into Maggie’s wake discussing the situation and find Jean located right near the snacks (Jean knows what’s up). Apparently, Maggie had a phone call from someone but she didn’t want to talk to whoever was on the line. Seth suddenly remembers a boy Lila was kicking around with at the end of school who wanted to be a doctor and actually interned at the same hospital where Lila studied nursing. Seth goes off to make some calls while Jessica asks Sarah McCoy what her plans are now (moving to Vermont if the new house owners don’t want a housekeeper who doesn’t like receiving cheques that bounce). Jess tells her how when she arrived the night Maggie died the door was wide open. Sarah thinks that should not be – she’d gone off looking for her no-good husband but the door should have been locked. Eddie confronts Seth about hiring a murderer to look after his grandmother. Serena tries to put her two cents in and Seth asks Jess if she minds leaving right now.

Mort takes Dorie to open Maggie’s safe deposit box at Justin’s bank. Later, she explains to JB that she was looking for Maggie’s will but it wasn’t there. She doesn’t know what to do about it, and JB wonders if the killer took it. Dorie’s off to have her birthday dinner with Jason, and is confused when Jess asks her about the piano Maggie was supposedly giving her for her birthday – whatever it was, Dorie didn’t get it.

Back at the Sheriff’s station Seth’s had a lovely afternoon ringing up Mort’s phone bill but has managed to discover the first name of the doctor that Lila was mad for back in Boston – Kyle. Jessica remembers a Kyle in her English class and with the help of Mort and a piece of paper remembers his name was Kyle Adderly. Mort goes to track him down, and Seth decides they should celebrate with some cake – until Jessica remembers Maggie’s grandmother’s applesauce cake and what Maggie meant.

Mort gets some solid police work done that afternoon – the Boston PD pick up Kyle Adderly, who clears Lila of any involvement in the euthanasia killings that happened at the hospital. She, in turn, manages to identify Henry Post as the voice she heard the night of the murder. He tells Mort that yes he went there, to convince Maggie to buy in on Jason’s retirement timeshare palaver but bolted when he realised she was already dead. Meanwhile, Jess and Seth lay a trap for the real killer via Serena Haynes and her gossip.

WHAT. A. SHOCK.

It’s the old got caught with his hand in the til so bumped her off so she couldn’t out him type deal. The proof, as they say, was in the applesauce pudding recipe file.

The phrase got shortened over time.

i2

Later gang!

S12E04 – Big Easy Murder

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We’re in Nawlins baby! There are drums, and voodoo and fog and someone running and SURPRISE CAMEO

#SNAKESPEARELIVES

That someone running turns out to be the reporter Jim Nash, and running did not help him – he was hacked to death with a machete, the fourth victim in three months. There are signs of voodoo at the body but Detective Alex Tibideaux thinks it’s a ruse and Jim’s colleagues at the paper Tom McCray and Cynthia Broussard say Jim was investigating links between the murders and organized crime.

You know what I’d like to organize? A whole lot of beignets in my mouth. And maybe some gumbo. And a cocktail or two.

Detective Tibideaux’s next stop is the last notation on Nash’s planner, which was to pick up JB Fletcher and take her to dinner. Nash was helping JB with research for her newest book; voodoo, illegal gambling, jazz, all the good stuff. Detective Tibideaux warns her that New Orleans also has the highest murder rate in America, but I mean has he been to Cabot Cove?

Guys, forget books. It’s all about KonMarie-ing people.

Jessica is staying at the home of her friend Emily Broussard, newly married to former Senator Brent Renwyck (aka Greg’s dad from Dharma and Greg) who has swapped senate-ing for opening a jazz bar. While JB chats with their housekeeper Yvette Dauphin, Emily has a quiet word with Brent before he heads out the door. Apparently one of their bank accounts was mysteriously empty but Brett explains he had emergency repairs down the club, he’s totes sorry he forgot to tell her about it.

Uh-huh.

Jess heads off to a voodoo shop where she finds some dude called Ralph Danton roughing up sales assistant Vera Welles. Vera was friends with the dead reporter and Ralph’s just discovered she’s planning to leave town which he’s aggressively against. He backs off when JB wanders in and walks away with a smile. Jess is actually looking for the owner, Kelly, but alas she died six months ago and the shop has new owners.  Kelly was going to take JB to the Gula Ruines for St Johns Eve festivities and to educate JB on a poisonous plant JB heard about in Jamaica. Vera doesn’t like to get involved in that stuff but agrees to take JB to the ruins.

Down at Brent’s jazz bar, Priscilla Dauphin (daughter of Yvette) is rehearsing for the grand opening. Brent wants to tell her how happy it’s going to make Emily and Yvette but she gives him the brush off and calls Emily, demanding to see her. Yvette overhears the conversation and looks worried. Meanwhile, Brett has a meeting with local crime boss Frank Roussel, nightclub host Mal Carter and Ralph – Brett’s an idiot who got financing from Roussel and now he’s signing paperwork that will give the club to Mal if anything should happen to him. Ralph spots Tom McCray out the window, and Roussel orders Ralph to tail him.

Back at the Broussard house, Jessica finds an old photo of Emily with her father and Yvette. Cynthia Broussard (who is Emily’s daughter don’tcha know) arrives with an envelope addressed to JB that they found in Jim Nash’s office and a message from Tom to meet JB at  3pm so he can explain what the documents are.

When they meet, they aren’t alone – Ralph is keeping an eye on them. Jess has discovered notes in Jim’s file that suggest he had a last minute change of plans to go and meet someone before meeting Jess. Jessica spots Ralph and suggests that Tom gets going, she’ll put Ralph off – which she does by blocking his exit and demanding the waiter call the police, causing Ralph to scarper.

Back at the Broussard residence, Priscilla confronts Emily with an anonymous letter she received declaring Emily’s father is also her father and that he paid for her schooling at Julliard as a result. Emily is aghast, and when she asks Priscilla about it she confirms it. Yvette says she wants her money or she’s suing.

That night

You know Snakespeare is here for the sonnetsssss. I should also mention that Melbourne is basically a firey Hellmouth right now and we’ve all lost our minds due to the heat. And by we I mean me.

Jessica and Vera arrive at the Gula Ruins for the voodoo festival and spot Ralph in the crowd. He sees them, and they make a hasty exit leaving just enough time for Ralph to laugh creepily.

Back at the club, Mal Carter overhears Tom interviewing Brett. Tom’s picking up Jim’s story and tells the senator all about how Jim found out that Brett had blown Emily’s money and ended up with a magical last-minute partner with just enough money to get the club going. Tom knows Mal Carter is fronting for Frank Roussel but Brett is giving nothing away. Also, it’s totally awkward because Tom went after Brett while he was a senator, and he’s also dating his step-daughter. Like I said, awks.

Mal watches Tom leave and calls Frank to report trouble.

The next day Jessica has coffee with Emily and explains that she called her friend at Julliard (because Our Heroine has friends EVERYWHERE) and he confirmed that Emily’s father paid for Priscilla’s schooling. Jessica suggests a DNA test but Emily’s father was cremated. Emily is a hot mess but Jess says not to worry – the letter is odd but there’s more to it than they know just yet.

Emily fills Brett in on the letter situation and he hits the roof, doubly so when he finds out that she’s going to audit the businesses in case she has to give money to Priscilla but she’s adamant. Brett runs into Priscilla and tells her she won’t get away with her scheme.

The club opens that night and everything appears to go swimmingly. Mal tells Brett to cheer up. Cynthia arrives and is not thrilled about Aunt Priscilla.

Back at home, Yvette is embracing some KonMarie voodoo and a Senator shaped voodoo doll.

I’ll be honest, I don’t actually know what this means either, but let’s pretend it does okay?

Brett calls Roussel, who is getting a status update on things from Ralph. Brett explains Emily’s audit plans and Roussel tells him to shut that down. Brett tells him there’s no way to stop the DA from finding out about their little arrangement if Emily knows about what’s going on. Roussel calls Mal Carter and tells him to follow Brett, as he asks Emily to go home with him. Priscilla finishes her set and says she’s going to get some air.

At nine o’clock that night, Brett is having a cheeky whisky when someone wanders over to him and kills him. Jess and Cynthia arrive home a short time later just in time to find Emily screaming over the body, a voodoo doll on the floor next to it.

Ah yes. That old chestnut.

Detective Tibideaux arrives on the scene in double quick time, and tells them that it appears to be a heart attack – the only physical thing they can see wrong with Brett is a cut on his hand, which Emily says was from a splinter he caught a couple of days earlier. Yvette is missing, and Cynthia sends Emily off to bed. Jess asks Detective Tibideaux if all the homicide squad are in attendance because of the voodoo doll and he says yes – there’s a habit for voodoo to take the fall for the bad guy. Tom arrives just as Jessica spots a familiar looking petal on the ground that looks a lot like those Priscilla was wearing on her head.

On the scent of a clue, Jessica pops down the club and finds Charlie the piano player, who has just heard about what happened. Priscilla is shaken and admits she followed Emily and Brent home, but by the time she got there he was already dead so she hightailed it out of there. She swears that the voodoo doll wasn’t there when she left, which means someone else was there in between Emily leaving the room and coming back in and Jess has a good idea of who and where she might be now.

Sure enough, Yvette is down at the Guila Ruins doing a bit more voodoo. Jess tells her Priscilla has gone to the police and Yvette says she only left the doll there to throw suspicion away from Priscilla, she didn’t want her daughter getting caught up in it all. Over at the voodoo shop, Vera is packing up for the night when she sees Ralph coming. She hides, he breaks in and she only gets away after conking him on the head.

The next morning Detective Tibideaux arrives to take Yvette in for questioning. Vera returns home from grocery shopping to find Ralph loitering outside her apartment so she gets on the pay phone (naw!) and calls the only person who can help.

I saw a tweet a while ago that said Jessica Fletcher was the only white person that people could trust and it made me laugh so hard. She’s such a Slytherin.

Tom arrives a short time later with the news that the call that lured Jim to his death came from a rando dentist office, that had other calls to Frank Roussel’s cell phone. Vera tells them that Ralph is skilled in the art of cloning phone numbers onto illegal mobile phones (LOL WHAT). Tom has also learned that Brett owed money to Emily and to Frank Roussel and a comment about left and right hands sends Jessica off on a reverie and she asks Vera about the poison from Jamaica. A call to the detective reveals that Brett had puncture marks on both hands but neither showed up anything poisonous.

A horseshoe ring and a memory later, Jess is back at the club to talk to Charlie the piano player – who is Priscilla’s real father and the former chauffeur for the Broussard’s. He and Yvette admit to cooking up the scheme together, without Priscilla’s knowledge. Neither of them was involved in the murder but Jessica already knows that.

Because of course.

Vera got the poisonous plant for them, and they whacked Brett to get ownership of the club. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme beauty and the beasttttttt.

Later gang