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S12E02 – A Quaking in Aspen

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We’re kicking off this week in Denver Fletcherfans, where a woman, a man, and a crime against humanity are out on the town.

The mullet was a travesty but the low scraggly ponytail is not better.

The night ends with ponytail dude being whacked on the head and dragged behind a car, which goes off a cliff in a fiery wreck the next day thanks to some budget-blowing work from the stunt department.

Meanwhile, in Aspen Lainey Sherman Boswell is strolling with her friend and lawyer Terry Folger and lamenting the state of her marriage when Sheriff Milo Pike rolls up with some bad news – Lainey’s husband has just died in a car accident. No need to lodge the divorce papers then I guess.

And then…

#helping

…JB is in town to appear on Lainey’s talk show but finds her old friend stressed out. The Sheriff is still asking questions about Grant Boswell and his relationship with Lainey – and her daughter Gina Sherman informs the sheriff that she liked her stepfather even less than her mother did.

Speaking of the sheriff…

(Supernatural, being just one)

Apparently, there’s been evidence that the car was rigged to blow up as it went over the cliff, but Jessica points out that all the items he’s referring to – a mercury switch, paint thinner accelerant – are all pretty commonplace items. He’s sure the investigation is going nowhere and tells Lainey not to worry as he departs. JB regrets not knowing Lainey’s husband better, but Lainey tells her she didn’t miss much.

Meanwhile, in Chicago, an insurance adjuster called Olivia Archer calls Terry to assure him that his client will receive the full 5 million due to her thanks to Grant Boswell’s life insurance policy. Terry is suspicious and after the call ends we can see why – Olivia has enlisted the help of everyone’s second favourite private detective.

I mean he’s great and all but ORBACH OR GO HOME.

Back at home, Terry’s paralegal Philip drops round some insurance paperwork for Lainie to sign. Lainie wants it known she’s not happy Terry hasn’t got the Sheriff to stop harassing her and he says he’ll pass the message on. On the way out he bumps into Gina and it’s clear he’d like to bump into her more often but she’s got a little something going with local writer Darman H Keene much to her mother’s disgust.

Cut to Darling Darman, who is on the phone pitching ideas to try and land a writing gig. The rise of rap music! Rap music as a metaphor for the decline of Western Civilization!

I’ve been on this tinder date. It was as much fun as you’re imagining.

Harold the editor tells Darman to get back to him, but instead, Darman booty calls a woman who has just arrived from Morocco with her husband. He’s off to look for money so she’s got nothing but time. Her husband, whose name is apparently Anthony Pembroke, grabs an envelope of cash from a payphone before running into Philip the paralegal.

Terry Folger wanders into a hotel where he bumps into a Howard Dietrich (Charlie’s cover for the case) and Charlie quickly snags him into a conversation that is soon derailed when JB wanders in and is delighted to see her old pal, Charlie. Charlie says she must be mistaken, his name is Howard and JB catches on. She wants to know all about how Howard’s mystery novel is coming.

MASTERS OF THEIR CRAFT

Over at Darling Darman’s place Gina walks in and cops an eyeful, Charlie sits down with JB over lunch and explains what he’s doing in Aspen. JB wants to let her friend know, but Charlie begs her to give him time so it looks like he’s earned his fee.

How can you say no to that face though really? Even if he’s not Jerry Orbach.

That night there are fireworks over Aspen as the Aspen Arts Festival kicks off. Darman makes a bit to interview JB for a rock magazine (is he meant to be Hunter S Thompson? Because no) and JB politely declines. Gina avoids Darman, Terry wants to chat to Howard/Charlie about stock options, and Lainie introduces her late husband’s niece to JB – it’s the girl from the start of the episode.  Then Sheriff Milo walks in and arrests Lainie for murder.

Disclaimer: I thought the niece and Mrs Pembroke were the same people until just now. Clearly, three coffees aren’t going to cut it.

Lainey is released on 1 million dollars bail, and Terry tells them he was lucky to get it down to that, the sheriff has a strong eyewitness who saw Lainie buying the things that were used to rig the car to blow. The next day Charlie gets a phone call from the insurance company saying he’s off the case, there’s no money to pay out now that Lainey has been arrested for murder. As he leaves the hotel lobby he bumps into a Mr Vernon – the friend of one of Howard Dietrich’s clients. It would appear that Howard Dietrich is a real person, good job Olivia. Meanwhile, Darman pitches the story of how he was about to get engaged to Gina when her mother was arrested, but his editor will only publish if he can get the name of the eyewitness – which inexplicably Mrs Pembroke can, because the eyewitness is her husband Anthony Pembroke.

Philip is trying to comfort Gina when they run into Darman who begs Gina to take him back and because she’s a blithering idiot, she does. As they walk off on a dejected Philip Darman begins to subtly interrogate Gina about her childhood.  Over at the sheriff’s office, Charlie tries to find out just what Milo knows but Milo isn’t talking. Philip takes matters into his own hands and breaks into Darman’s office to steal a copy of the article he’s writing about Gina.

Charlie has a sit down with JB to try and work it all out.

Never let it be said that I’m not on point. Floss floss dab Fortnite.

Charlie is word vomiting all over the place but fortunately, Jessica notices they have an audience – Mr Vernon, the man who knows the real Howard Dietrich. Lainie arrives to take Jessica to the studio, and when Jess excuses herself to make a quick phone call Mr Vernon has vanished.

Back at Lainies after the show, Terry rolls in to inform them that Lainie will be indicted for murder and that Anthony Pembroke swears he saw her buying the things in the hardware store – a day conveniently blank in Lainie’s planner when she checks it. Philip drops the article around to Gina and she finally admits Darman is a douche canoe.

That night, Vernon calls someone and says that the indictment is going to screw them up, and they need to work out who is lying. Charlie tails Pembroke down a dark alley and receives a whack on his head for his trouble. Pembroke receives two bullets.

The next day JB is at the sheriff’s office providing an alibi for Lainie at the time of the shooting (Gina’s alibi is less solid) when she sees a photo that confirms Charlie had been at the scene of the crime. Charlie, meanwhile, is over asking the newly widowed Mrs Pembroke why her husband had wanted to invest with him, but she doesn’t know where the money was coming from and frankly, it’s a bit soon. The sheriff arrives and Charlie quickly departs.

Philip and Terry have a coffee break – Philip is concerned to see that win or lose Terry will get everything that Lainie owns as collateral. Terry tells him that’s how capital cases work. Nancy-the-niece wanders in to tell Terry that she’s met Howard Dietrich before, and that’s not Howard Dietrich, causing Terry to put a call in to Olivia Archer at the insurance agency who promptly calls and yells at Charlie to back off. JB arrives, demanding answers.

EVERYTHING IS FINE

Charlie tells Jessica he was there when Pembrooke got whacked. Jessica tells him she’s found out that Pembrook isn’t his real name, it’s O’Brien, and he doesn’t have any money. Charlie tells her that Mrs Pembrook was disinherited by her parents when she married Anthony so she’s got no money either. Clearly, Anthony was getting money for his testimony, but where from? The sheriff pops in to tell them both he’s mad at them and not to leave town.

Charlie and JB break into the Pembrook’s room at the hotel and find a note with the time and place of Pembrook’s meeting. JB also finds first class tickets from Morocco and she has an idea of who has been bankrolling this whole operation.

Shady shady lawyer

Apparently, Terry had arranged for Anthony to lie and say he saw Lainie buying all the things so that he’d get her assets because it turns out he’s not a very good lawyer. But he’s not a killer.

Because as it turns out…

Absolutely did not see this coming. One beard looks like another tbh

…Grant Boswell and his ladyfriend Nancy Grayson (aka his fake niece) cooked up the whole scheme to claim the insurance money and killed Pembrook when he started unwittingly messing with their plans.

So with the insurance policy null and void, Charlie goes home empty-handed, but JB spots Gina and Philip making out and declares that the two biggest beneficiaries weren’t even on the policy.

Yellow card for that.

Later gang!

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S12E01 – Nailed

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Fletcherfans! Welcome to 2019 and welcome to the last season of Murder She Wrote. Who’dve thunk it? Certainly not me, I can barely commit to a hairdresser, but here we are.

SPEAKING OF HAIRDRESSERS! We are back in the Newest of Yorks, where there are cops driving and people abseiling off buildings and running around with bloody knives. You know, the usual. JB is getting her hair and her nails did simultaneously at Antoinette’s on Fifth Avenue, and being treated like the Queen she is. Her hairdresser Jimmy has to rush off to a TV demonstration on Nancy Rayburn’s TV show, leaving the manicurist Diane to deliver the news to JB – Diane and Jimmy are engaged which is all terribly exciting.

My celebratory drink of choice for weddings, engagements, births, making it to the weekend…

Lieutenant Sam Kriley inexplicably wanders into the salon to get a guest list from JB – apparently, all the abseiling and knives and cops was a result of JB’s friend Agnes returning home early from a museum board meeting and surprising a burglar. Kriley is convinced that it’s the work of the same burglar targeting high-end apartments all over Manhattan and that Agnes was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but she will recover.

Jessica bumps into fellow board member Kathy Stafford is also at the salon (clearly they get a group discount) and is a) relieved that Agnes will recover and b) will have the meeting minutes faxed over tomorrow. Jess then runs into fellow mystery writer Steve Burke, who is working in the salon as research for his novel, which JB is loving apparently.

Over at Nancy Rayburn’s TV show, Jimmy runs into Ralph Stafford, who I assume is Kathy’s husband. Jimmy and Ralph are planning to go into business but Jimmy’s getting cold feet and Ralph’s not having a bar of it. Also, Nancy is totally having a fling with Ralph and is ignoring her producer Madelyn Sweetzer’s warnings about how shady he is, even while he’s on the phone being yelled at by business partners.

Back at the salon…

BEHOLD ITS INFINITE MAJESTY

…JB still hasn’t left yet but is giving a big bag of books to the salon owner, the aforementioned Antoinette. Side note, I binged that Marie Kondo show on Netflix and I learned that a) compared to most people I don’t own any clothes at all, and b) KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY BOOKS MARIE. In my defence, I drunkenly counted how many books I owned last year and guys it wasn’t great. But I got rid of like twenty! And bought about forty, look it’s the circle of life whatever it’s fine don’t worry about it.

Anyway, the bag of books is a donation for a school raffle and Antoinette is stoked about it. She’s less stoked about the persistent rumours that Jimmy is leaving her salon, and JB says there’s no proof it’s happening. Antoinette’s still worried though, Jimmy has VIP clients all over the place and if he goes so do they.

Phoebe the receptionist goes on break, leaving Steve to cover the phones and fetch nail polish colours for nail technicians. Nancy swans in for her appointment with Jimmy. She bumps into Kathy Stafford, who tells her that she’s had several discussions with her husband and she’s made it clear that she won’t put up with his fooling around. Nancy says “That’s the hellraiser I knew in college!”

#awkward.

Kathy meets Ralph for lunch at the Cafe Metropole, and he helpfully doesn’t notice her new hairdo. The head waiter at the cafe sends his best wishes to Agnes for a speedy recovery – then gets a phone call from someone in which he says it wasn’t his fault Agnes came home early, they’re just lucky she didn’t see his face. Meanwhile, Ralph gets a prized silver dollar off Kathy to use as collateral to get Jimmy’s hair salon off the ground.

Jess wanders down to the precinct to give Kriley a helpful tip – at least three of the burglary victims were clients at Antoinette’s, there was a good chance that someone there was in on the whole thing. Kriley says thanks, he’s off to chat to Agnes and will drop JB off on the way. Meanwhile, Ralph meets a shady guy off a bus who has made a counterfeit of the silver dollar. He tells Ralph a true collector will spot the fake immediately, and to forget his name.

That night at closing time, Phoebe the receptionist puts Steve in charge of straightening everything up. He checks on Antoinette, who tells him she’ll close up, but needs him to drop a pair of glasses belonging to Nancy Rayburn around to her apartment. Diane warns Jimmy about leaving Antoinette to get involved in Ralph’s shady shenanigans and says he hits on her every time he’s in the salon, to which Jimmy says “Can I blame him?”

ZZZZT. WRONG ANSWER, TRY AGAIN DUMBASS. Antoinette overhears everything and watches them go, gulping what I assume is bourbon. In the car park, Phoebe runs into Ralph who wants her help finding out who is talking Jimmy out of signing the contract. He offers Phoebe (who used to date Jimmy back in the day) the manager role at Jimmy’s salon, and she says she doesn’t know much but she knows someone who might.

Across town, Ralph drops in on Nancy and gives her the silver dollar (code, but also not code) as collateral for a cheque for 400K that she’s giving him. They make out in the doorway for a while before he leaves, not noticing his wife hiding in the corridor crying. Brutal.

Even later that night, Steve drops around Nancy’s place to deliver the glasses and interrupts the burglar stealing the silver dollar. He gets whacked on the head, and the burglar legs it.

The next morning Jessica rolls into the precinct office, the recipient of Steve’s one phone call – the NYPD found him on the floor next to an empty silver dollar box and arrested him for burglary. Old mate is not having a good day. Jess vouches for him and tells Kriley that half of Manhattan new Nancy wasn’t going to be home the previous night. Curiously, there is no mention of the silver dollar in the list of stolen things. Funny that.

Ralph the Creep is at Antoinette’s getting his nails done when he finds out about the burglary and calls Nancy. She tells him she didn’t report the silver dollar being stolen so that Kathy wouldn’t find out about it, but since it’s insured no problem right? Also, she needs new collateral or her 400K back.

Ralph decides to change course and has a little word with Diane about how he thinks she will convince Jimmy to sign the contract. Across town, old mate head waiter has just discovered the coin is a fake, while Jimmy delivers the bad news to Antoinette. He’s off to start his own salon with Ralph.

Ralphy boy is summoned to a meeting with the head waiter, whose name is apparently Billy, who wants 50K or he will tell Kathy and Nancy all about Ralph’s double cross. Ralph laughs and says now that he knows who the Uptown Burglar is he’ll be off to the police thank you very much. Unbeknownst to the pair of them, Nancy’s producer Madelyn Sweetzer is sitting at the next table and hears the whole thing. Good lord this episode is exhausting.

Down at the TV station, Madelyn delivers the news to Nancy, who is stunned – even more so when Madelyn informs her that the show has been cancelled and will finish at the end of the month. Kathy appears to confront her but Madelyn says she’ll meet her at a bar around the corner.

Later that night there’s a party to farewell Jimmy from Antoinette’s salon, but no one really seems that celebratory apart from Wreck-it Ralph. Jimmy and Diane seem nervous, JB is sad, and Kathy Stafford is morose. Antoinette makes an appearance, but storms off after Ralph tells her they could have been partners but these days he likes to have younger, prettier faces around him.

Ralph later went on to become president. I mean, wait, what?

Antoinette bumps into Jess and they commiserate – she misplaces her bag but it turns up on the bar. Steve arrives late, after borrowing a suit from his brother. Ralph gets a note from Jimmy asking to meet him at Antoinette’s after the party. Phoebe arrives just as JB is leaving, and wants to hear about Steve’s book progress.

Cut to Antoinette’s salon, where Jimmy walks into a room and Ralph is dead in a chair, a pair of scissors sticking out of his back. Good riddance.

The next day, Kriley is all over the crime scene – Jimmy doesn’t appear to admit to being in the salon the night before but does admit the scissors are his. Apparently, it was Steve who found the body when he came in to open up. The silver dollar was left on the bench, ruling out a burglary. Steve is getting into the detecting business with Jess and swears there’s something missing from the station where Ralph died.

Outside, Diane confesses to Jimmy that Ralph had the dirt on her – specifically how she made a living when she was kicked out of home aged 16. Jimmy tells her he doesn’t care about that, he likes her now. Better answer Jimmy. Down at the Cafe Metropole Billy gets a call from his partner saying that Ralph’s death meant they were off the hook, but Billy is worried about the silver dollar boxes. Turns out he should be more worried about police taps, Kriley has heard the whole thing. He can’t place the voice on the other end of the call, but Jessica can.

They head down to Antoinette’s and despite her protests of innocence, Phoebe is arrested. Antoinette is also taken downtown when it’s discovered her prints are on the scissors. Jessica thinks this is a weak case, but Kriley is convinced.

Preach it sister.

Kriley is convinced he’s got it all sorted but Jess has other ideas. She recruits Steve to help her set the trap et voila!

This I did not see coming.

Instead of being mad that Ralph treated them both terribly, they teamed up and murdered him. Fair play really. Something to do with non-matching nail polish that I missed because I started googling my family tree.

Anyway. Onwards!

Later gang!

 

And now for a word from our sponsor…

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Fletcherfans! You know what time it is.

 

Have the loveliest of Christmases. Thank you all for riding along on this crazy trip.

S11E21 – Game, Set, Murder

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Back in the Big Apple and spying on a therapy session this week Fletcherfans. Pro tennis player and former Cabot Cove resident Louise Henderson is trying to unlock her memory so she can remember who killed her mother when she was a child. Unfortunately, she’s no closer to solving the mystery and her doctor sends her off to train for the US Open. (Plot point – he puts a recording of the session in his Wall of Cassettes)

JB is summoned by entertainment lawyer Portia Dekker – JB’s publisher is trying to put together a charity tournament and they need a top-seeded female player and since JB knows Louise Henderson… Apparently, Louise is keen to participate but her coach Wendy Maitlin doesn’t want a bar of it.

Louise is back at the hotel flicking through a magazine with her face on it when 90s Dreamboat Guy, whose name is apparently Jamie Carlson, suggests Thai for lunch or going to see a reggae band that night. Louise’s father Lane steps in, orders Louise to change into something appropriate before she meets JB and tells Jamie to keep walking, Louise has a tournament to win.

It was a time for ponytails.

Jessica explains to Portia that she and Wendy did not really gel when they met some years early, and Wendy promptly appears to grovel forgiveness from Jessica – at the time she’d just discovered she had to retire from tennis and she didn’t take it well. Wendy is mega apologetic but Louise needs to stay focused on the US Open and can’t compete in the tournament. Lane appears and orders Louise to memorise the responses he’s prepared for her interview and sends her off to practice. JB notices a cassette tape in his briefcase but thinks nothing of it.

Spoiler alert: Lane Henderson is a douchebag.

Jamie calls Louise in her hotel room to make sure she’s okay. One of Louise’s rivals, Francesca Garcia overhears the conversation and wants to know why Jamie never said such nice things to her when they were on in Paris the previous year. Jamie declines, he knows she’s got a thing going with Andrew Bascombe but she says that’s just business, not pleasure. Jamie suggests she focus on the business side as Andrew wanders over to take Francesca to lunch.

Lane’s next target is John McCarver, who works for a sporting goods company or something. Lane is angling to take over management of Francesca Garcia so that no matter who wins the US Open he will make a boatload with sponsorship from John’s company. John doesn’t want anything to do with it, so Lane tells him all about how he found out about John’s shady business practices. TL: DR he blackmails him.

You know what the trouble with this episode is? There is no Bryan Cranston in it.

Louise goes to training and is completely distracted, much like how I am currently googling when this weather will end (seriously, it’s like being in Thailand except it’s expensive and cocktails cost more). Wendy decides to call off training for the day but Lane magically appears and announces a) this is what happens when you hang out at all hours with boys and b) Louise’s court time will be doubled before the open.  Wendy tells him it’s no wonder Louise is in therapy which comes as news to Lane. He decides to fire Wendy like the douchecanoe that he is.

That night JB is packing for her imminent trip to London when she gets a call from Louise and she sounds miserable. Before JB can find out what’s wrong, Lane has taken the phone off Louise, told Jess she’ll get back to her and hangs up. He wants to talk about therapy but Louise wants to talk about getting Wendy back. Lane announces practice is at 10am and storms out. Louise tries to call her therapist but there’s no answer. Downstairs Lane bumps into Francesca and wants to know if she’s cut ties with Andrew Bascombe yet but she’s hesitant – he’s been good to her. Lane tells her there’s a 2 million dollar deal in it when she wins the Open. Francesca says if she wins, and Lane tells her she’s a sure thing, Wendy is out of the picture. They make out and wander off, while John McCarver ponders what this means.

Later that night, Louise dreams about the murder of her mother but doesn’t see the killers face while across town her therapist opens his door and asks “Can I help you?”

Apparently, the answer was no because the next morning when Louise pops round for an emergency sesh, she finds her doctor dead on the floor.  Lieutenant Estelle Garr is on the case and quickly rules it a robbery gone bad. She gently tells Louise to go home, she can sign her statement later.

Across town presumably later that day there is a cocktail party for some reason or another. John McCarver wants a word with Andrew while Portia finds Jessica pondering the possibilities.

Death caused by an MVP to the back of the head.

Portia is busy looking for new clients and Jess is saved by a phone call from Louise who wants to talk in person. JB says she’ll be home in 30 and bolts out of the party. John tells Andrew what he saw re: Francesca and how Lane’s moving in on Andrew’s turf, and also how he’s being blackmailed so he can’t help. Andrew thinks he probably should have a chat to Francesca.

Back at the hotel, Jamie is looking for Louise but she’s not answering. Lane wanders past and tells Jamie to stay out of Louise’s life but Jamie says he got a worrying phone call from her after the death of her therapist. Lane says she’ll be fine, now stay away or he’ll go to the tennis association about how Jamie bribed his way out of a drugs charge in Rome the previous year.

At JB’s Louise tells Jessica she was shaken up by the death of her therapist, but she will be fine and she will absolutely be playing in the charity tournament and Wendy will be her coach. She heads off to practice, and Wendy asks Jess what’s wrong. Jess isn’t sure, but she thinks Louise should be far more upset about the death of her coach than she is. In other news, Andrew confronts Francesca and it doesn’t go well – she tells him it’s over, Lane is taking over managing her career and it’s worth more than anything Andrew can put together. She leaves, and Andrew calls Lane with a mysterious business proposition that apparently will earn three times as much.

The charity tournament happens and naturally, Louise wins her first match. Jamie comes out to congratulate her and she tells him to win his match. She’s so wrapped up in the victory that she grabs his bag instead of hers. That night Jessica comes home to a disturbing message from Louise and rushes over to the hotel, where Lane is having a beverage with Andrew. Andrew excuses himself to take a phone call from Paris just as Jessica arrives on the floor. She hears gunshots quickly followed by the figure of a woman limping quickly down the hall to the stairs. Thinking it’s Wendy, Jess calls out but the woman bolts. JB enters the room the woman came out of and sees Lane dead on the floor. She frankly saunters over to the fire escape and hears the killer heading down the stairs. Meanwhile, Andrew has reappeared and confirms that Lane is dead.

Lieutenant Garr is on this case too and tells JB to cancel her trip to London for now. Andrew explains he was on the phone at the time of the murder. Louise was apparently with Jamie at the time of the murder. Wendy tells Jess she will take Louise home, and asks her to tell Portia Louise is out of the tournament but Louise tells her she will absolutely be competing and limps out of the room. After they leave, Garr asks JB if Louise has always been so cold and JB says no.

The next day Louise smashes her training session while Andrew and John toast their freedom from Lane’s tyranny whilst simultaneously protesting their innocence. Wendy limps after Louise and Jamie down to her car, when Garr rolls up asking Wendy to pop downtown for a chat. Later, Garr takes Jessica’s statement around to be signed and assures JB that Wendy isn’t under arrest – yet. JB is stunned that she’s not interviewing Andrew Bascombe, but the phone records and the person in Paris don’t lie – Andrew was on the phone at the time of the shooting. Jessica bids Garr farewell, and suddenly notices her cassette tape of notes for her research trip to London.

Jess goes to see Louise who is confused at the idea that her father knew about the therapy before he claims he did, but won’t go into why she called Jessica. Lieutenant Garr wanders past escorting Jamie to a police car – apparently, his prints were on one of the unfired bullets of the murder weapon so that seems as good a reason as any to charge him. He says he lied about being with Louise and she lied to protect him. Louise is distraught but Jamie tells her he’ll be back, they have some things right but not all of them. As they depart Louise swears he’s innocent and JB says she believes that, but they aren’t done talking.

Upstairs, Louise confesses – she recovered the memory of the night her mother was murdered and SURPRISE HER FATHER KILLED HER. Jess calls Lieutenant Garr with the news and she pops round to take statements. It turns out that the gun used to kill the doctor was in amongst Lane’s things. MOAR SURPRISE. Lieutenant Garr tells JB that fun fact, Lane’s gunshot wound wasn’t fatal but the whack he took to the back of the head was. They are scouring the hotel for the murder weapon as they speak, but Jessica already knows what it is. A quiet word to Louise reveals the second half of the truth and then Jess gets to work setting a trap.

So, here’s the thing:

Not surprise

Louise was the one who shot her father – she got Jamie to buy the gun, and she grabbed his bag instead of hers at the tennis match because his bag had the gun in it.

But of course, the bullet wasn’t fatal. But the MVP trophy to the back of the head was.

Because of course.

And that, dear Fletcherfans, wraps up Season 11 of Murder, She Blogged.

For now, the blog is going on a teeny tiny break, but will be back on maybe the 6th of January. But! On Saturday the 5th of January I will live-tweet the one remaining Murder She Wrote telemovie that I 100% had not forgotten about – Murder, She Wrote: The Last Free Man, so stay tuned to Twitter for that.

Only 24 episodes left! *starts belting out The Final Countdown*

S11E20 – Another Killing in Cork

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Tonight on Murder She Wrote is back! I don’t know why it left! Also, this episode was really dumb and I decided to have a shot everytime someone was drinking in this episode because my work Christmas party is tonight and I thought it would be a good idea.

In any case, JB is back in Ireland to catch up with old mate Tom Dempsey and his wife Kate, who are the new owners of a fishing lodge in Cork. Tom’s a bit stressed out fighting a mining company that wants to set up in the valley and after a meeting with mine employee Walter Ickes and Councilman Harold Early Tom tells them both to shove their offers to subsidise the lodge. Lodge employee Dennis McSorley is taking the side of the mine, telling Tom that it’s the future of Ireland which is nonsense because this is the future of Ireland:

Not even kidding I was in a glitter coma for a week after the 2011 Eurovision final it was glorious. Don’t hate, celebrate.

Anyway, Walter’s not happy with the discussion and thinks Tom needs to be dealt with, which worries Harold because he’s heard stories of a politician standing up to the mine in Colorado being killed/maimed/somethinged, but Walter tells him it was an accident don’t worry about it.

Tom goes to pick Jess up from the train station and fills her in on all the mine news. Apparently, the fishing lodge is under a bit of pressure which isn’t helping. They nearly hit a passing hobo strolling down the road, and I call shenanigans.

That’s a mask, I’m calling it now.

Back at the lodge, Dennis hits on one of the kitchen staff whose name I think might be Bridget while bignoteing how involved he is with the mine. Jessica gets settled into the lodge while Tom chats with someone called Seamus about the random hobo they saw strolling along the road – Tom is convinced he’s a mine spy.

Cut to dinner that night in the lodge dining room, and if you’re playing at home, take a drink (I’ve got Sailor Jerry’s and ginger ale, it’s officially summer now). There’s some talk about what fly is best to catch salmon and I immediately started watching Eurovision videos again because URGH.

(If you are unfamiliar with The Drinking Song by Jason Webley you should get acquainted)

The main instigator of this fish talk is Cyril Ruddy, while his wife Nellie just sits back and drinks (fair). There’s also Freddie Layton and his girlfriend Laura Maples. Freddy gets a phone call and wanders off leaving JB to chat with Edward Pryce who is in town not to fish but to look for a poinciana. Everyone staying at this lodge is boring, they are clearly struggling for guests.

Whatever Freddie’s phone call is about it’s not good news for him because there’s something in the USA Today about him. Meanwhile, Bridget’s friend Shana tells her off for not telling Dennis she’s pregnant. Back in the dining room, Edward decides to pop into town and Nellie decides to get a lift with him. JB spots the book Edward is holding and begs to borrow it after he’s done. Edward acts very oddly but promises to lend it to her after tomorrow.

Down at the pub – #DRINK – Walter and Harold conspire over darts, and not even kidding I just had to go look their names up again. Bridget and Shana, who have apparently knocked off work, wander in for a drink. Seamus and Dennis are there too, and Seamus wants to talk about how Dennis is all tied in with the mining crew but Seamus just blathers on about the future of Ireland again (see previous thoughts on this, which are still true). Edward and Nellie make plans to meet by the riverbank the next morning, while Freddie drinks quietly in the corner.

The next morning Jessica demolishes a breakfast while Cyril Ruddy heads off to fly fish with Tom’s prized fly which is apparently called the Black Mariah I’m not even kidding I’m boring myself writing this. Jess comes across Edward fiddling with a painting and he outs himself as a compulsive picture straightener. Sure, buddy. Tom takes Jess down to the legally-required-to-appear-and-naturally-haunted ruins, where they throw pennies in the well and make wishes.

In other news…

The distinct lack of people is a significant selling point. And it has its own waterfall!

Down by the river, Freddie decides he needs to make a phone call and bails on the fishing. Seamus tries to help Cyril catch a fish but Cyril knows exactly what he’s doing and isn’t taking orders from anyone, while the mystery hobo loiters behind a tree.

Further along the riverbank, Edward is setting up for his picnic with Nellie when he gets clobbered over the head with a rock. This fact appears to go unnoticed for a while, as later that night Tom orders a toast to celebrate Cyril catching the first big fish in a few weeks. (#DRINK). Kate finally asks where Edward and Freddie are, and Laura says Freddie had an errand in Cork and borrowed the car, and then Bridget pops up to say that Edward left a note on the kitchen noticeboard not to expect him for dinner. Jess says when she saw him heading off for his walk that morning he had a picnic enough for an army. This causes Cyril and Nellie to give each other a Look. And then I discovered Mark Hoppus from Blink 182 posted the baby monkey on the pig video and I kind of wandered off for a while.

Festivities concluded, Cyril and Nellie wander off. Cyril wants to know how the picnic went but Nellie tells him Edward never showed. They spot Jessica and Laura perusing the bookshelves and quickly walk off. Jessica asks Laura if she’s found anything good to read, and Laura says she’s not sure, it’s a treatise on the effects of something something on demasculinised female salmon.

“Well I thought that was a major operation,” says Jessica. “Do you suppose they sew a wee Irish vest and pants for the wee fishy?”

THAT IS AN ACTUAL QUOTE.

BACK THE TRUCK UP WALLY. What the hell even is this? Jessica is literally smarter than everyone she comes into contact with, why is she making weird jokes about transgender salmon? The writers are literally phoning it in at this point.

Anyway, back down the pub that night (#DRINK) the hobo has a quiet pint of Guinness while Walter and Harold bribe Dennis to spy on Tom. He takes the envelope full of cash and bolts. Walter nods in the hobo’s direction, who nods back.

Speaking of Tom, on his way home he has car trouble and ends up going into a ditch. He swears the car has only just been fixed, and it’s a blatant attempt on his life. Sergeant Terence Boyle (previously seen in A Killing In Cork), says he’ll look into it but that Tom needs to lay off slandering Harold all over the place.

Morning rolls around and Jess decides to take some snaps down at the ruin, which I swear to Beyonce looks like the ruin from The Wind Around The Tower episode. She runs into Laura who is a bit sad, she thought they’d come to Ireland so Freddie could propose. Jess suggests making a wish so Laura chucks a penny down the well.

Back at the lodge, Tom confronts Dennis about being caught up in the whole mine thing with Walter and Harold and Dennis storms off. Kate announces Edward still hasn’t turned up and has enlisted Sergeant Boyle to help locate him. Meanwhile, Laura shows JB her photos and Jess spots one from the day before where Edward is setting up for his picnic and the hobo is lurking in the trees.

A search of the riverbank finds the discarded picnic set and a bloodied rock, but no sign of Edward. It’s not till later that night, when Boyle is having a coffee and Shana is vaguely flirting with him, that JB has a thought.

I MEAN COME ON.

Ding ding ding. I’ve got nothing.

But in any rate, Edward’s body is down the well. They hoist him out as Jess explains there were three dings when she made her wish with Tom, but only two when she made her wish with Laura. Boyle takes charge and interviews everyone – Freddie asks him not to contact his company if he can avoid it. Harold turns up and he and Tom accuse each other of basically everything before Boyle tells them both to calm down.

Boyle runs into Jessica as he departs and asks her what she knows. Jess says Edward claimed to be an English teacher and an amateur botanist but he incorrectly attributed a famous Hamlet speech to Polonius and was on the hunt for a poinciana, a tree native to the tropics.

Down the pub (#DRINK) Nellie delivers some actual relationship advice to Laura and departs so that she and Freddie can have it out. Freddie admits that the reason he’s been so secretive is that someone has embezzled money from his company and he is being accused of it because he left the country. Laura doesn’t mind that, they’ll go back to America and sort it out. GOD THIS EPISODE IS BORING.

Laura and Freddie come home a bit pissed but soon sober up when they see Boyle. He has a few questions for Freddie down the police station, but he’s not under arrest. Word on the street is that a private investigator hired by the mining company hasn’t been heard of for a couple of days – possibly Freddie thought the PI was after him? After he leaves with the police, Jessica looks at Laura’s photos again and decides there’s something odd going on. Meanwhile, Dennis and Bridget are on a boat (because of course they are) – Bridget tells Dennis she’s pregnant and Dennis tells her about his side hustle with the mining company which Bridget very much doesn’t approve of.

Oh! This rum is finally starting to kick in! I think it’s too late for me to not be thunderously irritated by this episode though.

The next morning Jessica stumbles across Kate straightening a picture and has a Brainwave. Sure enough, Edward’s missing book is stashed behind the painting – it turns out to be an expense ledger of his movements since he left Colorado. Jess asks Tom to pass the ledger along to Boyle, it will help to clear Freddie.

Down the pub that night (#DRINK) Dennis decides to chuck Harold and Walter’s offer in their faces literally. He’s for Ireland, but not at the price they’re asking. SUCK IT MINING GUYS.

Jessica puts a call into a friend in London, regarding the Shropshire theatre company. Whatever he tells her is what she wants to hear, and she joins everyone in the dining room, but not before taking Edwards notice off the board. The Ruddy’s are about to depart, but they’ve time to chat about the murder. Tom announces Jess doesn’t think Freddie did it, but Jessica says she doesn’t know who it was. She thinks the evidence will be found at the ruins though. Behind a door, Seamus calls Walter down the pub (#DRINK) who tells him to do whatever he has to.

That night, Tom finds JB down at the ruins looking for something. She explains Edward had a fishing fly on him when he was found, she thinks it was transferred from the killer.

Sure enough…

Told you it was a woman in that mask. I’ve not watched Scooby Doo for nothing.

But of course, it wasn’t just Nellie.

But of course.

Edward, it turns out, was an Interpol agent on the hunt for the two assassins who killed the politician who went against the mine in Colorado, which should interest me way more than it does. Anyway, Seamus was calling the police, not Walter. Presumably, it was Nellie or Cyril (real name Edward Montgomery) who called Walter.

You know what, I don’t even care. This episode is done, JB is almighty, thank you next. (Topical reference FTW)

Cheers Fletcherfans!

S11E19 – School For Murder

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We’ve officially said goodbye to ‘Tonight on Murder She Wrote’ which is all very well and good but I’m still a bit sad about it.

Anyway, welcome to St Crispins School For White Kids, where a couple of kids called Mike Seresino and Sarah Tyler are stealing a bust of William Shakespeare because of course they are.

Ethan Embry is adorable, and now I need to watch Empire Records again.

While Sarah seemingly gets away, Mike gets busted by a teacher nicknamed The Creeper and dragged off to the office.

After the credits, we stumble into a meeting of the Prometheus Society, which is apparently a secret society run by more rich white kids, lead by a guy who is clearly a douche. I’ve watched this part about a dozen times because one of the extras looks like she’s going to continue chanting but closes her mouth when everyone else stops.

Stupid things that make me laugh #4709

Sarah is worried about Mike being busted by The Creeper but the Leader, Colin Forbes, tells her not to worry, the Prometheans protect their own, even those who are just pledging to join.

Cut to the only class I want to be in…

Excuse me while I just go shout “It’s not chowdurrrrr it’s CHOWDA!” at the cat.

Mike arrives at the class late and later tells Sarah and Colin that his disciplinary meeting has been pushed back to the afternoon. JB congratulates him on his essay and asks what’s wrong – he tells her it’s nothing a miracle won’t fix. The English class’s actual teacher, Harry Matthews explains that he’s pledging the Prometheus Club and it’s affecting his grades. It turns out Harry has his own situation, he’s applied for the headmaster position and will present to the board in a day.

While Mike and Sarah worry about the outcome of the meeting, Harry bumps into his ladyfriend Claire Vickers, who tells him someone else has dropped out of the race to be headmaster. Unfortunately, his main competition, Claire’s ex, James Ryerson is still in the race and has a few words to say on the topic.

Later that afternoon music teacher Irv Tripler alerts Harry to some papers he’s found in the printer – somehow James Ryerson has found Harry’s presentation to the board and made it his own, with a few choice additions. Harry thinks the culprit is obvious but Irv tells him he saw the Creeper creeping around, and Jess finds cigar ash in Harry’s drawer. Case closed, it was the Creeper.

Ryerson conducts a lecture on Sun Tzu, which Colin sleeps through. When Ryerson confronts him about it later, Colin tells him to chillax, it won’t matter if it’s Harry or him who is the new headmaster, his grandfather is best mates with school director Dr. Myles Purcell, so none of it matters. Ryerson tells Colin if he fails the next history exam Ryerson will look forward to having a chat with his grandfather all about it.

JB pays a visit on school director Purcel to plead Mike’s case, and bumps into Mort coming out of the office,

Purveyor of wildfire in Game of Thrones, which is suddenly making St Crispins way more interesting

Jess begs him not to expel Mike but his mind is made up. Mort is investigating a series of thefts on campus but Purcel has decided that Mike is the guilty one. He agrees to give Jessica a couple of days to get through to Mike.

Mike finds Sarah after his meeting with good news – he’s on lockdown, but he’s not expelled yet. Colin pops up to congratulate him and ask him to steal the history exam from Ryerson’s office. Mike tells him, no, and Sarah tells him to shove his secret society. Colin watches them walk off, looking pensive.

(That will be Nigel with the brie is one of my favourite lines from 10 Things I Hate About You)

Later, Harry confronts The Creeper about helping Ryerson steal his presentation but Avery denies everything. Mort steps in to calm it all down and is a bit pensive when they both walk away without explaining what the altercation was about.

This is also the face I just made when I discovered that next year 10 Things I Hate About You will be 20 years old Jesus Christ what is time

That night there is a staff and student social, which sounds like the most lit party ever in history. Harry confronts Ryerson about stealing his ideas, and Colin confronts Mike about not stealing the exam – if he doesn’t do it, a stolen laptop is going to appear in Mike’s things with his fingerprints on it. A group of guests convince Irv to play his classic hit from Ye Olde Times, and Jess is loving it until she spots Mike across the room – she wants a word. Sarah’s informed her that Colin is trying to get Mike to run another errand for him but Mike won’t discuss it and walks off. Later, after Colin trips him over Sarah offers to help and he tells her to leave him alone.

Later, Claire begs Ryerson to withdraw from consideration for the headmaster gig, but Ryerson will only agree to it if she starts sleeping with him again. Wouldn’t you know it, Harry walks by just in time to hear Claire agree to his demands.

Awkward.

What does this chick have beer flavoured nipples?

The next day tensions are high in the teacher’s lounge. Harry is refusing to answer his phone when Jess arrives, so she does it for him and lets him know Purcel wants to see him immediately. Ryerson asks if he needs to go to, but it’s just Harry. During class, an announcement over the PA reveals what the meeting was about – Purcel announces that Ryerson is going to be the next headmaster.

Guys, it’s been a long year, we all just need to survive as best we can.

Claire finds Harry down by his car drinking his feelings after being knocked back for his dream job (relatable). Claire assures him she never slept with Ryerson and that it will be okay, but Harry tells her Purcell voted for Ryerson and there’s not a huge demand for worn out old hasbeens at other schools. He drives away.

(Life lessons from the desk of Kat Stratford)

That night Mort drops around JB’s house to chat about all the stolen things from the school (including a laptop) and asks if JB has spoken to Mike yet, which she hasn’t. She’s been busy listening to a recording of Irv’s song ‘Love Is Like This’ which was a favourite of hers and Franks’s. (Helpful camera zoom on the album cover).

Over at St Crispin’s Sarah tries to talk Mike out of breaking in to steal the exam but he’s on a mission. The mission gets aborted, however, when they break in only to find Ryerson lying dead on the floor. They bolt, and a shadow passes over the body.

The next day Cabot Cove PD are all over it – apparently, Avery was the one who discovered the body. Irv wants to get in to retrieve something for work but that’s not happening until CSI Cove are done. Mort gets a phone call from Jessica – Harry has just turned up at her house. While he sobers up with cups of coffee, he tells Mort that he basically drank himself to sleep at about midnight and at some point grazed his knuckles. It doesn’t look great for old Harry.

Jess and Mort do a spot of investigating at the school and turn up a tiny metal object which Jessica identifies as being from a tiny bicycle, which Mort is perplexed about. Meanwhile, Colin gives the stolen laptop back to Mike, wiped clean of prints. Mike’s confused about this sudden bout of generosity, but apparently, a bunch of Ryerson’s papers went missing and so everyone’s passing history this term.

Sarah is summoned to the Sheriff’s office, where Jessica returns her broken bike charm. She admits to being in the office and says that she was there to steal the exam, but Mike steps in and says no, it was him, he broke in, all this is on him. Mort tells him one of his fingerprints was found but it’s the darndest thing the missing laptop got returned unharmed, Mort’s got bigger fish to fry now.

Back at St Crispin’s, Purcel is apologising to Harry about ever offering the job to Ryerson and hopes that Harry will accept the gig anyway. Harry is delighted to until Mort wanders in to inform them that Ryerson’s missing papers have just turned up, complete with blood smears, in Harry’s locker.

Down at the sheriff’s office, Mort is defending his theory to JB, who has suddenly become interested in police folder colours because apparently, Ryerson was hiding one the other day.  Jessica has another theory, that the killer was still in the room when Mike and Sarah broke in. Mort suddenly remembers that Mike and Sarah told him that Colin claimed to have seen them looking like scared rabbits on the night of the murder, and so orders a search warrant of Colin’s room, which reveals the exam paper and a blue police folder. Colin tells him he went in after seeing Mike and Sarah run away, grabbed the papers but dropped then when he saw the dead body. He took them again when he realised his prints were on them, but stashed most of them in Harry’s locker except the exam paper and a blue police folder…

…which turns out to be on Dr Myles Purcel, who got drunk and ran over a kid many years ago. Ryerson somehow found out about it and blackmailed Purcel into giving him the headmaster job. Mort assures him that the folder will go back into storage where it belongs, and sees him out. Mort is about to head back to the sheriff’s office to continue questioning Colin when JB suddenly has a thought.

(Also she’s worked out who the killer is)

Speaking of…

(Now, I know Shakespeare’s a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that.)

The real Irv Tripler, it turns out, died sixteen years earlier and this guy has been getting around as him ever since. Ryerson found out (having seen the real one in concert) and blackmailed him into stealing Harry’s presentation. Once he was named headmaster he was going to cut the music department completely so Irv/Joey Mallo killed him with a platinum record.

And so it goes, Fletcherfans.

Later gang!

S11E18 – The Dream Team

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Once upon a time, there was a magical kingdom called Cabot Cove, where life was simple and the fishing was good. The townsfolk were proud of their town and deeply suspicious of outsiders and were ruled over by a Kind and Magnanimous Queen who let the mayor think he was in charge and let the sheriff think he was in charge of law and order but she did it all like the Slytherin queen she is.

One day, rumours began to spread that some outsiders were coming to town to build an automobile plant. Others heard rumours of a cultural centre. The townsfolk were uppity and the queen didn’t know what to do.

Queens cannot simply stroll into town and purchase carrots without dispersing crowds

The town thinks JB is holding out on them. Why? Because it turns out she has a connection to one of the employees of the consortium who will be presenting their plans for Cabot Cove that evening.

A strong connection.

A family connection, if you will.

NO GRADY. NO WE DIDN’T

That’s right Fletcherfans, the worlds most incompetent nephew/accountant/human being is back to wreak havoc and eat sandwiches. Despite pleading from everyone, he won’t reveal what his new job is or what he’s in town for. His boss calls him at JB’s house to signal his arrival at Hill House, and Grady assures him that there have been no leaks, a fact backed up by Hill House Front Desk Guy Noah Farmer who is excited to hear what Everett Buffum, J. Peter Carmody and Toni Shaw have in store. Everett is having a minor crisis, his wife happens to be staying at Hill House and is not conceding her marriage is over. Also, Charles Napier is lurking in the background but I blew all my good Blues Brothers references on these episodes so take the Good Old Boys as implied okay?

Meanwhile, Seth has a bee in his bonnet about the imminent destruction of the Cabot Cove lighthouse which has fallen into disrepair. His attempts to get the council involved did not go well, so he’s trying a new approach.

100% with Seth on this, if I could live in a lighthouse I would.

Over at Hill House Grady is running around like a nervous puppy, while J Edgar Carmody or whatever the hell his name is orders Everett Buffum to get rid of his wife.

As the presentation kicks off downstairs and Seth gets tucked into a pint, Charles Napier breaks into Carmody’s room and nabs some papers, all the while avoiding the Sharp Gaze of Housekeeping. The presentation goes off without a hitch, and most of the town seems quite willing to accept a massive resortmarinacondotheatreplex. Grady asks Jess what she thought of the presentation and she calls it overwhelming. Everett’s wife Lorna drags Grady off for a word about getting back in Everett’s good books/complaining about gin quality, while Everett reestablishes his friendship with Jessica. Carmody tries to sweet talk the lot of them and says that Seth looks like a man who has some questions.

Carmody may regret this.

Carmody quickly eases himself away just as Grady resurfaces. Grady asks Seth if Carmody told him of the plans to save the lighthouse and Jessica tells him he never really got the chance. Later, a drunk Lorna Buffum pulls a gun out but Charles Napier quickly takes it off her saying he has his own reasons for needing Everett alive just now. Jessica watches it all go down and remains silent.

The next day, Charles Napier, whose character name it turns out is Denver Martin, rolls down to the Sheriff’s office to deliver Lorna’s gun to Mort. He apologises for not doing it sooner, he only got the message from the day clerk at the hotel, no one else knew his name. Mort asks what he’s doing in the Cove and Denver says just business. He leaves just as Deputy Andy escorts Lorna Buffum inside. She’s not being charged with anything at the behest of Everett, and Mort recommends she leave town immediately.

The next day Jess solves another mystery, this time without even having to stand up.

If this photo had a dead body in the background it would basically sum up this show.

Seth has considered the development from all angles and thinks that it will be a boon for the community. Jess is surprised to hear it and produces a petition against the development that Seth has apparently cosigned. Seth is outraged that his name has been used in this way and wonders where the petitioner got the idea – Jess thinks possibly from the previous night when Seth declared he’d fundraise for a naval bombardment of the new marina.

Jess gets a phone call from Donna, aka Mrs Grady, who tells her that she and Grady have just been turned down for a bank loan because the bank can’t find any evidence that the company Grady works for even exists.

The eternal question

Over at Hill House, Lorna thinks that the lack of charges being pressed against her is a sign she and Everett are getting back together but he tells her to get out of town, and she’s not seeing any of the money. Later, Everett and Carmody view some office space that Grady’s found for them. They like it, but the realtor isn’t terribly keen to do a deal with them until Carmody offers to make her their exclusive agent for the development. Noah Farmer comes in to try and purchase another of her listings but he can’t make her price. Grady is surprised to hear that the businesses they will be opening up won’t be the chain stores and high-end boutiques that were on the original plan, and Carmody tells him they’ve had a change of direction, they just haven’t filled him in yet.

Back at Hill House Lorna prepares to check out and confronts her husband’s mistress Toni Shaw. Toni tells her that Everett hasn’t been Lorna’s for years and Lorna declares she won’t rest until they are all in prison where they belong.

Yup. They’re scammers. Grady’s nailed it again.

Jessica, the voice of reason as usual, enlists Mort’s help investigating the company Columbus Ventures, but so far all they’ve dug up is that they have two other developments on the cards, one in Florida and one in Oregon – one is waiting for hurricane season to end so construction can begin, and the other is just waiting on a court case brought about by an environmental group. Everyone thinks it’s going to be fine, especially Grady.

Back at Hill House Denver Martin confronts Carmody – apparently, Denver’s mother was at the Florida presentation and died shortly after but not before giving Carmody 70K. Carmody admits to meeting Mrs Martin, but everything else is circumstantial and good luck going to the police with evidence stolen from his room. Denver stalks off just as Everett arrives, and gets into it with Carmody about Lorna’s threats to expose them.

That night a storm hits Cabot Cove, and while Grady stares out pensively at the rain, Lorna Buffum knocks back a martini before getting into her car.  (Cut to Lorna’s car going into the water).

The next day Lorna’s body and car are fished out of the water. Seth thinks it’s a safe bet she died by drowning, but judging from the bump on her head she might not have been conscious when she went into the water. Mort finds a bottle of gin in her handbag and says that it might have contributed, though the bottle is mostly full.  Oh damn, I could go a gin right about now. Apparently, Lorna had been in touch with Mort about a meeting but Mort wasn’t sure why. Deputy Andy shows them the other things they found in the car, gum, coins, a pen lid, a matchbook from a roadhouse out on the highway. Everett appears and says no he wasn’t with his wife the previous night.

Mort gets into the case and confirms with Noah at Hill House that Lorna checked out and knocked back a few martinis at Hill House before leaving at around 8:30.  Deputy Andy confirms there was nothing wrong with the car, so the bump on her head can’t have been from whiplash caused by a dodgy seatbelt. Mort gets a call from Adele who tells him that they’re saying on the radio that Columbus Ventures are backing out of the marina development, apparently Everett has lost the stomach for the deal after the death of his wife.

Over at HQ Grady is packing up his desk and bemoaning the fate of the project. Jess thinks it’s odd that Everett backed out due to community outrage, given that so many people were all for it. Noah comes in yammering to the real estate agent about Lorna’s death and wanting his deposit back from a sale but she’s not having it. Grady has an idea about the project and scurries off, and Jess notices that the site model labelled Cabot Cove is stuck over a site model label with Darwin Key Florida written on it.

Grady pitches his idea to Carmody and Shaw – they should sell shares in the development. They love it and tell him to get to work immediately. Shaw tells Carmody later that if they’d had Grady in Oregon they could have retired by now.

Denver Martin tells his story to Mort, who tells him not to leave town. Andy confirms the bump on Lorna’s head would have been enough to render her unconscious. They are stumped until Seth has a genius idea.

LOOK AT HIM DETECTING

Spoiler alert, it isn’t a clue.

Poor Seth #helping

The good news is that everyone loves Grady’s idea to sell the development as a timeshare (is that what’s happening? I’ve just found the Australian women’s cricket team on TV, my attention has wandered, also MEG LANNING FOR PM).

Jess is still worried about the whole situation, and has a quiet word to Denver Martin who tells her about the documents he found in Carmody’s room, including some stationery from an environmental group called Save The Oregon Forests.  This gives Jess an idea and she gets on the payphone.

Mort orders APBs on Everett, Toni Shaw and Carmody, and it is revealed they are all scammers with a long history. Grady feels terrible, he sensed something was wrong (no he didn’t) but didn’t investigate it (well that’s true). Seth wonders which one of them killed Lorna, and JB stares long and hard into a gin bottle until the answer comes to her (relatable content right there).

Jess recruits Grady to set the trap and he nails it completely. Not being sarcastic. Grady has been suspiciously together and likeable this episode, I don’t like it.

Long story short…

I would have actually died if it had been Grady I mean can you imagine

Noah the hotel guy was in debt trying to be a real estate tycoon and panicked when Lorna was going to expose them all. Another case closed!

And now, as the scammers are being arrested trying to flee the country, and Grady is collecting on a reward offered for aiding in their capture, it is time to say goodbye to Grady Fletcher: The Man, The Myth, The Legend. And while I could go back through Grady’s Greatest Fails, I feel that this video pretty much sums it all up.

Later gang!

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