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S10E08 – Love and Hate in Cabot Cove

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Welcome to 2018 and welcome back to the Cove Fletcherfans!

Mort is burning the midnight oil down at the Sheriff’s office trying to solve the case of Why Can’t He Access His Files On His Computer.

Noone likes a smartarse, Andy.

Giving up on computers and the prospect of the 21st century in general, Mort goes to retrieve his paper files from the storage room and is shot at by a shadowy figure outside. A car screeches away as Andy comes running in gun drawn. Mort didn’t see the shooter but he has a good idea who it was.

Meanwhile, at the home of Sam Bennett Public Accountant (I would not watch that show), Sam has just returned home to his anxious wife Laura, who wants to know why celebrity client Jessica Fletcher keeps calling. She calls back just as Sam walks in the door but Sam makes faces like he’s not home. Laura tells him she will get dinner ready but he says not to bother, he has another client. After she leaves he grabs a bundle of money out of the safe and puts JB’s file inside.

Over at the new hotspot in town, Jess is treating Seth to dinner while puzzling over the fact that she’s just been swamped with late notices and missing payments that Sam Bennett is supposed to have handled. Seth tells her to calm down, they’ve known Sam for 25 years there’s nothing to worry about. Frank Fletcher was one of Sam’s first clients, it turns out, and Jess is struggling to work out what’s going on. Seth is a client of Sam’s too, but before Jess can find out if Seth knows anything Lou Karamides, the new owner of the hotspot, pops past their table to offer a bottle of champagne for Cabot Cove’s unofficial monarch and his gold cufflinks for the upcoming rummage sale fundraiser.

(Fun fact, Lou Karamides is being played by Richard Beymer so this is basically the Great Northern Hotel)

If it’s true that there are infinite universes in the multiverse, there is a universe where Angela Lansbury was in Twin Peaks and holy crap that makes me happy.

Lou is called away upstairs, where it turns out he has the Star Wars Cantina a hidden casino full of hapless punters including a rather jolly Sam Bennett (aka Wings Hauser from all those other episodes, you guys know). I can’t even begin to wonder where this plot line is going. Lou checks in on Sam’s winnings (none) and Sam asks for some more credit. Lou gives him a grand, because what the hell he’s going to lose it anyway.

(Spoiler alert – I’m not a fan of casinos. Crown Casino in Melbourne is a depressing windowless hellhole filled with loud pinging noises and zombies. And shitty nightclubs. But does have a very good Christmas decorations).

Back at the Sheriff’s office, Mort is putting a call in for a warrant to go on a raid after getting an anonymous tip (and shot at), while new deputy Ethan Loomis gets on the phone to his new girlfriend Candace Bennett aka Sam’s daughter. Apparently, Sam doesn’t like Ethan all that much but Ethan can’t imagine why. Mort gets off the phone and orders Ethan to wrap it up and get the raid gear. Andy does it instead, but Ethan gets off the phone, quickly dials another number and says “Guess who’s coming to dinner?” Andy appears with an armload of guns and Ethan quickly says he was talking to Candace.

If you guessed Ethan was alerting the Great Northern, then give yourself a gold star and an elephant stamp as my grandfather would say. Lou oversees the casino’s return to its regular job as a function room and sends all the gamblers down to the bar for a drink, including Sam who was apparently on to a good run. Sam heads downstairs and spots Jessica and Seth just as they spot him. He goes over and says hi, and Jessica tells him they need to talk. Sam tells her he has to get home but he’ll check his calendar for tomorrow and give her a call, and Seth tells him he’d like a word too.

In the background, Mort and co come barreling in demanding to go upstairs but one of Lou’s minions steps in to stall them. Lou appears, and tells them it’s fine, go on up, we’re just a humble restaurant etc. Upstairs, there is no evidence of any gamblification except a solitary chip lying on the ground. Lou asks Mort why he insists on wasting everyone’s time and Mort tells him to watch himself. Basically.

Over at the Cabot Cove Gazette, apparent new editor Irene Macinoy is finishing up for the night and listening to a classical concert from Berlin when her pouty son Chad bursts in, turns the radio off and demands to know if she’s finished. Irene tells him she saw Candace at the post office, she said to say hi. Irene thinks she misses Chad. Chad thinks Candace doesn’t care if he’s alive or dead and storms out.

#NotAllMen.

Over at House Bennett, Ethan and Candace are making out in the cop car when Sam comes outside to see what’s going on. He orders Candace back in the house, and tells Ethan there’s no way he’d allow Ethan to marry his daughter, especially after seeing Ethan in Lou Karamides’s office earlier in the week. Ethan says he will marry Candace, and Sam orders him off his property.

Laura is not impressed by any of it. YOU DESERVE BETTER LAURA.

It’s like that age-old thing about fathers welcoming their son’s hot girlfriends over for dinner, but greeting their daughter’s hot boyfriends at the door with a shotgun. I mean put it back in your pants, your daughter’s not an idiot. Sorry. That’s a rant for another day.

The next day Mort pops round to see JB. JB wants to talk about her accounting predicament but Mort has fan mail to discuss and a coffee craving that needs dealing with.

(Accurate representation of my feelings towards coffee)

Jess is horrified by Mort’s fan mail and the idea that someone shot at him. Mort tells her it was Lou Karamedis, the owner of the Timber Lane Inn (oh, not the Great Northern. Whatever).  Mort can’t prove Lou fired the gun but he certainly knows who did. Mort asks what JB’s predicament is, but she’s running late for an appointment, so Mort offers to drive her over. Unfortunately, Mort’s car is falling apart so Jess gets a lift with Seth while Mort gets his car towed. Seth happens to drive past – on his way to see Sam, who has some explaining to do, and offers to drive JB to the Gazette office so she can place the ad for the rummage sale.

As it happens, pouty mcPoutface Chad is back in his mother’s office yelling at her to give him a job delivering newspapers, but she tells him he’s far too successful to be doing that. He was such a success in Philidelphia (I WAS FIRED IN PHILIDELPHIA says Chad). Irene thinks he’s just a bit stressed, what he needs is a wife to take care of him.

(At this point I paused the show, beat my head against the desk five times, then resumed)

Irene agrees to get him the job, and offers to give him some money to tide him over. Chad storms out.

Seth leaves JB at the Gazette office, where she runs into Chad, who very politely tells her he loves her books. They chat about things for a bit, before Jess goes into the office, walking straight past Laura Bennett, who is looking worried. Which is fair, her husband is embezzling money and her daughter’s dating an idiot.

Irene takes JB’s ad and starts prepping it for print. Jess says she ran into Chad on the way in, and Irene tells her he’s doing great, he is working for a big company in Philly, and if it weren’t for the fact Cabot Cove was part of his territory she wouldn’t ever see him. Jess thinks the last time she saw him was when he got his football scholarship to college, and Irene says oh yes, he gave it up, no future in it.

I don’t think Irene is okay. Later, when Seth gives JB a lift home from the supermarket, he tells her that Chad got booted from college for drinking all the time, and returned back to the Cove to be near his high school girlfriend Candace Bennett. Because that’s healthy.

Later that afternoon Laura is waiting for Sam when he gets home. She plays Sam the message Jessica has left on the answering machine, in which she tells him her financials are a mess, he didn’t call her, she has to assume he’s avoiding her, and so on and so forth.

That night, Ethan meets Lou for the traditional Paying of the Bribes. Lou wants to know who is firing at Mort, and Ethan says if Lou’s going to tell him who to arrest, that will cost him extra. Lou doesn’t like that idea or ambitious people. Over at House Bennett, a drunk Chad turns up to force himself on Candace, and is escorted out by the cops after Sam barges in with a shotgun. The next day Sam demands Chad be locked up but Mort tells him Candace declined to press charges so Chad is free to go. Sam is furious, but when Mort gets on the phone to tell Ethan to go pick up his car Sam gives up and walks out. Ethan tells Mort he has an idea about Chad but he’ll tell Mort when he brings the car in.

Except nope, because someone just shot him while he was driving the car back.

Fast forward to the funeral where Sam is very condescendingly comforting his daughter, while Irene tells Chad now isn’t the right time to chat up Candace.

#TeamLaura

JB and Seth try to console Mort as best they can but he tells them to go, he’ll be fine. Secretly though he thinks he was supposed to be the target, the killer saw his car and fired.

Poor Mort is devo.

Jess and Seth go and have a look at the crime scene but there’s not much to discover. Seth waves at a passing car and Jessica realises there was no way that the killer mistook Ethan for Mort, Ethan was the intended target. Jess thinks this will reassure Mort, but he still thinks he was the target – what with all the hate mail he was getting after all. Lou Karamedis definitely hired a hitman if he didn’t do it himself. Jess tells him a hit man would be more professional, and Mort tells her everyone makes mistakes. Jess says sure, Mort doesn’t even know for sure that there is a gambling casino in the Timber Lane!

Ouch, that was a bit harsh.

Jess decides to take matters into her own hands and enlists Seth as a sidekick. They head down to the Timberlane that night and watch a steady stream of punters head up the stairs. Jess tells Seth to keep an eye out and follows one group up the stairs. They enter the banquet hall and Jess sweet talks her way past the guard. She bumps into Lou Karamedis who says all she had to do was ask, and offers her champagne in his office.

JB has no time for your bullshit Ben Thorne

While Seth continues on his chowder downstairs, Lou and JB drink to her new novel, which she explains is about a hapless small-town accountant that gets caught up in illicit gambling, a local deputy gets shot and the casino owner is suspected. Lou thinks the casino owner wouldn’t bother, it would be easier to just pack up and leave town rather than get caught up in local shenanigans. Jess casually mentions that the local deputy is being paid by the casino owner to tip him off to any raids. Lou gets more and more creepy til a phone call from Seth, in which Seth announces he has Mort on the other line and Jess needs to be back in the dining room in one minute.

Down at the Sheriff’s office, Jess and Seth ask Andy about whether it was possible Ethan was on Lou’s payroll and he tells them about the weird phone call the night of the last raid. Mort wanders in with Sam and announces Sam is under arrest for the murder of Ethan. Mort tells them that Ethan remembered seeing Sam with a shotgun the night they arrested Chad, and when Mort went to investigate the gun looked like it could have been the one that killed Ethan, though he couldn’t be certain. Sam admits he hated Ethan but it wasn’t about him not having enough money to marry Candace, which is apparently what Ethan claimed. Sam admits to his gambling addiction and tells them about seeing Ethan at the casino with his free drink being happy as. Mort loses it but Andy tells him that Ethan was bent. Mort then loses it at Andy but Jess explains he only just worked it out.

Mort doesn’t care.  Sam was in the office when Mort told Ethan to pick up his car, he knew where to be to shoot Ethan. Jess tells him anyone with a police scanner could have heard it but Mort is not backing down. When Jess tells him Lou Karamedis has a police scanner he asks her if he has an over and under shotgun too?

This gives Jess an idea, and she tells Andy she needs to speak to Chad.

PLOT TWIST.

I really did not see this coming.

Ah yes. Irene’s classical music concerts were right next to the police band on the radio, so she heard where Ethan would be. Her husband had an old over-under shotgun, so she thought she’d eliminate Ethan’s rival for Candace. I told you Irene wasn’t okay.

Before we all get too depressed, let us leave with the good news that Sam is going to Gamblers Anonymous, Laura is taking care of him (after being the one calling the tips in to Mort) and the tie she donated to the rummage sale has been bought – as a present to Sam from Candace.

Hooray for the Cove!

Later gang!

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I was going to post this on Sunday but it’s been a bad day in Melbourne today so I’m posting this and sending all of my love.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Fletcherfans. Thank you for being so awesome.

S10E07 – A Killing In Cork

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Our Heroine is back in leprechaun country and is receiving a concise history of everything that’s going on with her friend Fiona Griffith from local gossip Siobhan Kennedy – Fiona’s husband is dead, her son Sean is running the woollen mill (as seen by a frankly Wonka style opening montage except wool is not delicious and chocolate is), her other son Patrick buggered off to America a long time ago and her husband’s cousin Ambrose is trying to take over the business and move the factory to Sligo, a town I once passed through on a bus. Hashtag fun fact.

I think she might be rethinking this whole trip

Over at said factory, (in a part of Ireland where the accents range from Swedish to Indian), Sean is preparing for battle with factory manager type person Dennis Moylan. The evil Ambrose Griffith is on his way and is currently tailgating Siobhan and JB until they get out of his way.

Preach.

Said car arrives at the woollen mills, and Ambrose orders his wife to wait in the car with the driver.

(And also a person in her own right obviously, but hey fun fact!)

Back on the road, Siobhan stops to pick up local drunk poet Billy Mahaffy who informs JB that Robert Griffith was actually murdered. Siobhan dismisses this as total nonsense and drops Billy at the pub. Later, Fiona explains to JB that Billy drunkenly walked in front of a bus one night and spent a year in the hospital, and hasn’t been the same since.

Over tea, Fiona and JB catch up on all the gossip, such as how Robert got interested in stonemasoning before he died, and how he had finally started to let go of the business. It was a terrible Alannis Morrisette level irony that his interest in stone masonry led to his death when a piece of the church fell off and landed on him.

Down at the pub Ambrose, Mrs Griffith and the driver arrive to check in to their rooms. Ambrose exchanges LOOKS with a guy sitting a the bar with a pint and a book on birdwatching but quickly reveals himself to be a Fake Twitcher when Billy Mahaffy asks him about birds he’s seen.

JB gets a tour of the woollen mill from Sean who leaves her in Dennis’s company to pick out a blanket. Dennis is furious that Sean didn’t show Ambrose financial reports – he seems to be all for moving the factory for some reason. JB’s next stop is the church, where Father Timothy offers up the parish computer records if she can’t find any trace of her Macgill relatives in the graveyard.

I would have laughed SO hard if it was Grady.

The girl leaps up, announces the leprechaun is coming (she calls it something else but I’m tired and editorialising) and runs away. Later that night, after Jess and Father Timothy discuss what poisons are the best for murder, Fiona shows Jess a picture of the leprechaun in question, known for never taking his pipe out of his mouth, and explains that the girl is Una O’Reilly. The conversation is interrupted first by Sean and Ambrose blueing over the business, then by the sudden arrival of Patrick Griffith who pops in to announce he has a thought or two about Ambrose taking over the business. Ambrose tells him he has no say, his father disowned him, he has no shares in the business.

The next day Patrick gives Jessica a lift into town and explains that he left after getting sick of the way his father treated him. He went off to university, received mysterious money orders into his bank account every month from an unknown benefactor, and then once he heard Robert had died decided to come home. He apologises for his behaviour the previous night, saying he could have waited an hour before teeing off on Ambrose.

ALWAYS.

Down by the lake, Ambrose/Pete Sampras’s wife Emily starts making out with the chauffeur while Fake Twitcher Guy takes photos. Gee, I wonder how that’s going to end up. Over at the mills Ambrose, Patrick and Sean yell at each other for awhile, which ends with Ambrose announcing Robert Griffith agreed to the move and producing paperwork showing the board appointing him emperor of the woollen mills. Patrick and Sean storm out. Ambrose tells Dennis if he keeps his mouth shut and does his job he might have a future with the company.

Ambrose is on fire. After properly enraging his entire family, he next drops a stack of incriminating photos on Emily and tells her she’s done and there’s no alimony in her future. He skulks off and she goes straight to the phone – she needs to see whoever is on the other end of the line immediately.

There’s only one way to resolve all of this dramatic tension.

FIRST RULE OF RIVERDANCE FIGHT CLUB IS THAT YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT RIVERDANCE FIGHT CLUB UNLESS IT’S IN A BAD IRISH ACCENT.

While the Riverdancers fight to the death, Fiona wonders where Patrick has disappeared to and Emily arrives with Dennis Moylan. Ambrose gets a message from the friendly bartender and leaves under the eagle eye of his now-sacked chauffeur, and Siobhan waits in a dark wood, for Patrick as it turns out. Patrick ain’t got time to chat though and is off to do a thing. The chauffeur guy turns up there and watches Patrick and Siobhan wander off in different directions.

Father Timothy offers jetlagged JB a lift home while down at the church Ambrose is waiting for his mysterious note-writer to turn up. He gets freaked out when he sees Una O’Reilly singing at him through a window, then she runs away. He turns around and finds the bell rope swinging. He calls out, cops a garrotte around the neck and starts frantically pulling on the bell rope.

Back at the pub JB hears the church bells and asks if they always ring at ten o’clock. Father Timothy panics, as the church should be locked tight and there’s money in the safe so he grabs Jess and they jet over to the church to find Ambrose dead on the ground, the bell rope still swaying.

The next day the 5-0 roll in.

It’s the token Irish guy who isn’t Irish!

Sergeant Boyle, much to Jessica’s apparent irritation, seems to have the matter in hand. He is not terribly moved by Jessica’s knowledge that the death occurred at 10:04pm, or that she saw Ambrose receive a message from the bartender, or that the fact that the window was smashed suggests that the killer broke into the church and let Ambrose in. After he leaves, Jessica spots a shard of glass outside on the ground and some black ash that someone tried to sweep up. She asks Father Timothy if someone had swept in there that day but he thinks not. He gives her a list of people who have keys to the church and it’s basically everyone.

Speaking of everyone, they all gather at Fiona’s house to pay their respects to the newly widowed Mrs Griffith. Dennis is extra polite, and Billy Mahaffy wonders if that means the woollen mills are going to move to some land Dennis owns, and Dennis tells him to lay off the booze.

Down at the mill, Patrick is delighted to inform Sean that the directors have voted to keep Sean in charge and to move in whatever direction he sees fit. Sean is delighted but worried about Sergeant Boyle. He wants to know if Patrick killed Ambrose so Sean can help cover it up. Patrick is furious and storms out.

Jess is off picking flowers, seemingly not needed in this investigation.

If there was a murder, yo she’ll solve it…check out the hook while Doc Hazlitt revolves it (guys it’s five thirty in the morning I might have broken myself)

Dennis Moylan drops past to tell her that her brand new rug will be ready in the morning and departs. Siobhan rushes up to tell Jessica that Sergeant Boyle is convinced Patrick murdered Ambrose. She admits to JB she’d known Patrick for a while, he had come back to town for a day to meet someone and she had met him in the pub that night and they were casually hooking up. The night of the murder he was supposed to meet her but didn’t and he was always asking questions about the mill, but he totes didn’t kill Ambrose.

After some digging around in the parish records, Jess wanders the graveyard and finds Una communing with the fairies. Jess tries to find out more about the leprechaun but Una runs away. Jess heads back to Fiona’s just in time to see Patrick being hauled off in cuffs by Sergeant Boyle.

Jess takes Fiona for a walk to get the truth out of her. It turns out Patrick isn’t Robert’s son, he’s Billy Mahaffey’s. He went to Belfast and disappeared/got hit by a bus and so Fiona married Robert. He knew Patrick wasn’t his so he treated him badly. Fiona’s terrified Sergeant Boyle will find out and think Patrick killed both of them but JB thinks she’s on to something.

(Spoiler alert: I only just now realised this is basically the cast of the Celtic Riddle telemovie).

JB goes to see Patrick in jail, and he admits he came back to town to find out who’d been sending money orders. Billy told him he was his real father the day Robert died. He thought Billy had killed Ambrose Griffith and tried to make it look like a robbery. Sergeant Boyle pops in to call time on visiting hours and starts fiddling with a button. This seals the deal for Jessica and that night she lays a trap for the killer.

*May not actually be a leprechaun

Won’t lie, nailed this one about ten minutes in. Dennis wanted the factory moved to his land and killed anyone who said no, basically. There was a lost button, Jess had it all worked out, it was fine.

And that’s all she wrote, for a couple of weeks. Santa Claus is coming to town, you guys! But I’ll be back in a couple of weeks.

Merry Festivus Fletcherfans!

S10E06 – Bloodlines

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If anyone tells you Horses by Daryl Braithwaite isn’t Australia’s national anthem they’re a filthy liar

JB is in Virginia hanging out at her pal Matt Cleveland’s place, where she is writing a new book set in horse racing land. Matt is a horse trainer currently training celebri-horse Swift Prince, and so knows a thing or two about such things. His daughter Jill just happens to be the jockey on board so you know there’s that too. Also he’s Mickey Rooney.

Naww. 

Matt is so excited with the Prince’s hot lap that he puts a call in to two of the owners, Catherine Noble and Wally Hampton. They are stoked with the Prince’s time and assure Matt that they will convince the third owner Lloyd Mentone that the hose must race that weekend.

Spoiler alert: this entire episode is basically this:

I don’t understand how Mickey Rooney isn’t playing an old retired jockey actually.

Anyway.

Jess, Matt and Jill head back to Matt’s cottage, while up at the big house Catherine Noble (aka Tippi Hendren) informs her daughter Tracey that Swift Prince will be racing on the weekend. Tracey is delighted, she needs the prize money to fund another 100 guests for her upcoming wedding to Wally’s son Paul. UGH. Catherine tells her the money isn’t going to cover her debts, they are inches away from losing the farm completely, and are counting on Paul approving a bank loan.

That afternoon, Lloyd Mentone is furious to discover that his co-owners have entered the horse in a race when he was focussed on stud fees. Apparently, the horse was recovering from a serious injury and Lloyd thinks it’s a big risk, but he’s overridden. It also turns out that Paul Hampton and Jill once had a thing before he got talked into falling in love with Tracey. Paul looks miserable and later refuses to stay for a drink with his father, who wonders what’s wrong. Paul asks him what he wants, and Wally says for Paul to quit the bank and return to managing the stud, but he’d settle for his audit.

Meanwhile, JB is back at work on her book when she gets a visit from Lloyd, who tells her he grew up watching races from the tower at Saratoga (righto mate) and that he’s concerned about Swift Prince’s race. JB tells him she’s sure Matt and the others know what they’re doing, also the tower at Saratoga wasn’t built when Lloyd was growing up.

Ouch. Burn!

Getting nowhere with JB, Lloyd’s next stop is to see assistant trainer Gus Tardio aka Don Swayze as if you couldn’t tell.

Like Hungry Eyes, except not at all.

Gus is moping because Matt got made head trainer over him. Lloyd orders Gus back to work, and sober since that’s what he’s paying him for. Gus returns back to the stable to find life has pretty much gone on without him and Matt sacks him for being a douche.

Tracey visits Paul at work, where he’s trying to secure her mother’s loan and says she can’t wait until the wedding so he can quit his silly banking job and run the stables. Paul tells her he happens to like his banking job but she says that’s only because his father doesn’t.

Later that night JB is slaving away over her laptop when she hears bangs and crashes from the stable. She rushes to see and finds Matt staggering around after copping a whack on the head. Jill helps him to stand while JB carefully extracts a syringe from a pile of hay. OH YOU GUYS IT’S A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK.

While the vet has Swift Prince tested for performance-enhancing drugs, Sheriff Clyde Benson wants to know who might have been behind it. The consensus is Gus, but JB can’t see what his motive is and Wally Hampton agrees. Clyde thinks it’s more likely that one of the horse’s connections might have done it, but he’ll swing by Gus’s and see. Wally begs him to keep it quiet until they know if the horse was actually injected and Clyde says he’s happy to do them a favour as long as it’s within the law.

Alright Clyde, calm down.

The next day Catherine gets a call to say that Swift Prince is all clear, and there was much rejoicing by Tracey and by JB for wildly different reasons. Down at the bank, Paul gets a visit from Lloyd who wants Paul to convince Catherine to scratch the horse from the race, or else some finance peeps are going to find out that Catherine lied on her loan application and Paul approved it. Paul throws him out.

Over at the farm, Catherine confronts Matt (who turns out used to work for her before he worked for Wally) and says she wants a more experienced jockey on the horse because SHE NEEDS THE MONEY OMG WEDDINGS DON’T PAY FOR THEMSELVES AND TRACEY IS A PRINCESS etc etc. Matt tells her it’s in his contract – he trains, he picks the jockey. Later that afternoon he tells JB he has a plan for shaving 3 seconds off Swift Prince’s time and waves a videotape around.

That night, Jill runs into Paul and they go get dinner together. JB finds Matt rushing out the door, telling her he’ll explain later. Jess hears some car doors slam, and gets back to work. As a car drives way, Gus appears out of the bushes, like this but in reverse.

Tracey turns up a while later looking for Paul, but Jess says he’s been gone about an hour so they decide to have dinner together instead. On their way into town, they find Matt’s truck parked on the side of the road, and Matt dead on the ground.

BASTARDS KILLED MICKEY ROONEY THIS WILL NOT STAND.

Clyde comes to the house to take statements, but he’s fairly convinced Matt was killed by a hobo in a robbery gone wrong. Jess thinks this is highly unlikely, and doubly so when Clyde tells her there was no sign of the videotape Matt had been waving around.

After checking in with Catherine, who it turns out was supposed to meet Matt with Wally but he never showed, Jess goes to search Matt’s office for the tape, but it’s gone. She does, however, find the envelope and puts a call in to the offices of Sportrack to find out what Matt had requested. She also finds a notepad, and with the classic pencil rub finds VICTOR WY etched onto the pad. Fun fact, WY apparently means Wyoming. Victor means Victor I guess.

Sportstrack is a surprisingly efficient company, and they deliver another copy of the tape to Jess the next day. She watches it with Jill, but they don’t know why Matt was so interested in it. Catherine and Wally come over and tell Jill they’re getting another jockey for the race.  Down at the bank, Lloyd pops in for a chat with Paul, but Paul tears up Catherine’s loan contract and tells him to do his worst. Paul quits.

Paul is getting his groove back completely, his next stop is to see Catherine but instead, he finds Tracey who accuses him of ignoring her to spend time with Jill, so he calls off the wedding. YOU GO BOYFRIEND.

Drunk on his own power, Paul heads down to the racetrack to wish Catherine and Wally well for the race the following day, but Catherine tells him to go to hell. Paul and Jill watch the substitute jockey fail completely with Swift Prince. Paul tells Jill to let Catherine come to her and to say maybe at least once. Paul, you’re alright.

Meanwhile, Jess is still trying to catch a murderer. She has a chat with Clyde who is convinced Gus is guilty, but when he shows her the wrong piece of paper she suddenly realises why Matt had been so excited the night he died. They rush over to the racetrack just in time to catch Lloyd about to inject Swift Prince, who isn’t Swift Prince at all but a horse called Victor Way that Lloyd swapped so that he could make more money or some such business. Victor Way was going to make money as a stud horse, the real Swift Prince was off making money in South America.

But he didn’t kill Matt.

UNSURPRISED

Trust me on this, it’s got to do with car doors and Tracey running into Matt as he was about to tell her mother and worrying that the scandal would put an end to her wedding.

Whatevs. The important thing is, Jill wins the race on Victory Way and there’s champagne for everyone.

Later gang!

 

S10E06 – A Virtual Murder

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Our Heroine is hitting the road this week Fletcherfans, as she is eagerly explaining to a disbelieving Seth. She’s written a script for a game using this hot new technology called VIRTUAL REALITY and she’s jetting off to Silicon Valley to see it all come together.

THE FUTURE IS NOW.

As you can see in that top pic, the future is being overseen by Kevin Sorbo, which is a future I can get behind. The guy at the computer is the head programmer and MRA in training James Lindstrom, the blonde is programmer Kate O’Neill and the brunette is programmer Julia Campbell. Spoiler alert, they are both in love with Kevin Sorbo, except Kate is dating him and Julia only wishes. Obviously, he’s Kevin Sorbo.

Jess is having a jolly old time playing in the VR world she wrote, but a glitchy servant girl leads to a shutdown, much to the frustration of all especially money man David Salt. Alex Porter, the kid of one of Jessica’s friends back in the Cove, is also frustrated as he lets Jessica out of the booth. The bug shouldn’t have happened, he explains, before being cut off by a loudspeaker reminding him to take his pager and to call his mother.

Back in the control room, everyone is in a panic and mostly blaming Julia Campbell. James wants to cancel the launch, but Kate says it’s impossible. Alex mumbles they should just change the script, which everyone dismisses until JB offers to just write the servant girl out of the script entirely. Kevin Sorbo agrees and tells Alex to take JB back to her hotel to get started. James tells JB not to take long, they aren’t after writing awards, and JB tells him she will do her best to fix his game.

Burnnnnnnn

That evening, James leaves the office and heads off, tailed by a private investigator. Meanwhile, Jess tells Alex to stop pacing around her hotel room, she’s trying to save everyone’s arse. Alex tells her that none of it should have happened, he designed a program to test the game at high speeds but James canned it because he didn’t want to give Alex access to the source codes for the game. Back at the office Kevin Sorbo and Julia are about to start making out when Kate walks in to announce that Jessica has finished her rewrite. All that’s missing is James Lindstrom.

The PI tails James to the offices of Redwood Concepts (presumably a rival), as does money man David Salt. It transpires that David Salt is trying to convince James to jump ship from Kevin Sorbo and Marathon Images and go work for convicted felon John Crowley aka Charles Kroll. James demands more money and walks out when he doesn’t get it. Charles tells David he’s in trouble if they can’t announce James’s defection to the company the next day, but David tells him he’ll just grab the source codes and then they won’t even need him.

Back at the office Kevin Sorbo has grown weary of waiting for James and announces testing will begin momentarily. He goes hunting for the source codes in James’s office but finds a gun instead. James chooses that moment to turn up and points out the source codes are in his pocket where they always are, and to get out of his office.

The gang spend the whole night reprogramming the game, and by dawn are ready to test it again. Presumably, it all goes well, apart from Jess finding a locked door in the game that James says will take hours of programming to remove. They celebrate with champagne but there’s still more work to be done. Kevin Sorbo gets a phone call from the PI, who tells him he’s got more issues than just James Lindstrom but that it’s going to cost him.

Later that day, after everyone’s had a nap (presumably, I could go a nap right about now), the launch of the game kicks off. While Kate gladhands investors and JB dodges questions about virtual reality, Kevin Sorbo confronts James about the night before. James refuses to answer any questions but points out Charles Kroll getting stuck into the champagne. Kevin Sorbo goes over and orders him out before he calls security.

The time comes for the guests to have a crack at the game, but one of the booths is mysteriously occupied. Alex forces it open to find the body of James Lindstrom slumped against the door. The police are called and seem a bit bemused when informed that not only is Lindstrom dead but that the source codes are missing. Sergeant Ignacio Delcanto asks Kevin Sorbo just who might have wanted the codes and without hesitating Kevin Sorbo says, Charles Kroll. Noone was around at the time of the murder, but Julia says she heard James being paged at 4:45.

Sergeant Delcanto pops round to Charles Kroll’s office, but Charlie boy knows nothing, saw nothing, and has no opinion about anything. Delcanto’s minion drops in to inform him that they found the murder weapon – it’s the gun belonging to James Lindstrom that Kevin Sorbo found earlier.

Speaking of Kevin Sorbo:

BEHOLD HERCULES IN ALL HIS MANLY GLORY.

Kevin Sorbo is bemoaning the fact that James’s death means the game can’t go on when Delcanto and his associates wander in and arrest Kevin Sorbo for James’s murder on account of his fingerprints were on the gun.

Jess calls shenanigans and remembering Kevin Sorbo’s phone call early that morning heads down to the office to try and work out who it was that was calling. She enlists Kate’s help and traces the call to Dan Porter at Porter Investigations. She pays him a visit and suggests he has been collecting information to sell to the highest bidder, which he denies but not for long and blabs about seeing David Salt as well as James at Redwood Concepts.

JB finds David Salt clearing out of town when she runs into him at the office. He’s convinced that a hitman killed James, and it was probably Charles Kroll that did it, and that he’s probably next. Either that or James Lindstrom organised the whole thing, and that if you were to open a door into James’s mind you’d learn just how bonkers he is.

HOLD THE DOOR! JB doesn’t shout because this isn’t Game of Thrones.

While Kate is off firing Julia for making eyes at her boyfriend, JB enlists the help of Alex to try and get into the locked room inside the VR game. Alex says it will be a piece of cake, but several cokes later none of his programs are able to crack the code.

“Try OPEN DOOR.” Says JB.

ALL HAIL.

Jess straps on the suit and dives into the game to open the door – and discovers James Lindstrom’s manifesto for a cybernetic honestly I don’t know I was laughing at the graphics.

Ugh no.

Jess’s response is on point.

THAT SMILE THOUGH.

Feeling even more unenlightened about James Lindstrom’s death, and annoyed at the riddle James poses in the video game,  Jess is at a loss but a voice over the loudspeaker reminding Alex to call his mother gives JB an idea. She starts thinking about computer viruses and gets Alex to construct a riddle of his own. She leaves a message for someone with the riddle and sits back to wait for the killer to show themselves.

Later that night David Salt goes into the lab and starts clicking around in the mainframe probably. A shadowy figure emerges from the darkness – it’s Julia. She was the one JB called, and she’s there to stop David from destroying Kevin Sorbo’s dream because she has the source codes.

Oh yes.

Not that surprised tbh

I’m a little hazy on how JB worked this out, it’s got something to do with the voiceover pager messages only happening in the room where the pager is or something. Anyway, case closed etc etc.

Later gang!

S10E04 – The Phantom Killer

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It’s a sunny day in the Big Apple and the editor of Follies Magazine, Dean Richards, is having a bit of a day. His finance manager, Carter Drummond, has just informed him that the bank isn’t giving him another loan, he just got blasted over the phone by literary agent Gary Manning about his client Ben Forman’s upcoming profile on JB Fletcher, and his assistant Ellen Harper has just shown him some photos that suck.

Some top-notch exposition right there.

Across town, the profile piece on JB Fletcher is going well.

I mean if anyone’s going to solve it…

Unfortunately what with Ben’s constant crashing bumping and spilling things the interview has to be cut short as Jess has Business. Instead Ben decides he’ll follow JB around the next day.

Jess heads off to her lunch meeting, which happens to be with Dean Richards and his lady friend Kathryn Schofield, and assures Dean that the profile is going a treat and that Ben is adorable. Kathryn goes off to her photo shoot leaving Dean and Jess to throwback cocktails until local media mogul Harrison Kane pops up.

Alan Thicke = 50% responsible for the existence of Robin Thicke who is 100% responsible for Blurred Lines a song I’m still angry about. My vendettas are complicated and last ages.

“Been a long time!” He says to JB.

JB is in smackdown mode.

Turns out Harrison isn’t there to see JB, he just wants to remind Dean that if he doesn’t accept Harrison’s bid for the magazine Harrison will just run the magazine out of business. He sashays away, and JB explains to Dean that a year earlier Harrison was shopping around a movie option for one of JB’s books that he didn’t have rights to and did such a bad job that by the time a legitimate producer wanted the rights the whole thing was cactus.

Meanwhile, Ben is kicking back relaxing all cool shooting some bball outside after school at his house with his friend/raging crush Abby Peters, who is rehearsing for an audition that afternoon. She thinks she’d be a big success if she had an agent like Ben so he gives his agent a call, and tells Abby that she should call him that afternoon. Abby’s boyfriend Dave picks her up and tells her he hopes she’s learned her lines this time.

Jesus Dave, calm down.

After they leave Ben gets a phone call from Harrison Kane, who is rather impressed with Ben’s screenplay and wants to turn it into a movie, but he thinks Ben should get a different agent – Gary Manion is demanding 100K for the rights to it. Ben says he’ll see what he can do, and suggests Abby for one of the roles. Harrison tells him to have her people call his people to sort it out.

Harrison hangs up. Kathryn Schofield is disinterestedly reading a magazine on his couch.

The next day Ben manages to get his last bits of interview from Jess as she races about the place. As she jumps into a taxi, she gives him a free word of advice – keep an eye on his script, and his wallet, around Harrison Kane.

Word must get back to Gary Manion as he puts a ferocious call into Harrison Kane, livid that Kane has shopped around scripts he doesn’t have the rights to. Harrison can’t get a word in. Manion says it’s 100K or nothing, and there’ll be hell to pay if he shops the script around or does one of his famous scope’n’gropes on Abby Peters.

*Coughs* Relevant *Coughs*

Manion hangs up on Kane, and there’s a knock on the door. It’s Carter Drummond, begging Harrison not to rescind his offer. Kane tells him too late, he’s going to destroy Follies Magazine and everyone involved in it, and to get the hell out. Carter departs, leaving Kane with a letter from his lawyers. Something about financial records which I’m sure is important.

Meanwhile, Kathryn is hard at work going about her model business, while a frustrated photographer called Hans bemoans her lack of interest. Dean calls a wrap and orders Hans to deliver some photos by 10am the next morning.

Sidenote: Uma Thurman’s Thanksgiving post on Insta was freaking amazing.

The above goes the way you expect these things to go. Ben arrives just to hear banging and crashing, Abby shouting “NO!” and then sees her run out of the room and into the elevator. He chases her but she flees into a taxi and disappears into the traffic. Meanwhile, room service arrives at Kane’s hotel room to find Kane dead in the bathtub with a hair dryer.

NYPD’s finest detective, Stan Zbornak Artie Gelber is naturally assigned the case and pops round JB’s house for a statement and a chat, as Jessica’s name appears in Harrison Kane’s little black book. JB confirms that she and Dean saw Kane at the restaurant two days ago, and that she and Kane didn’t have the best relationship. Artie wants to make this quick, he’s got reservations in the Catskills etc etc

10 points for that shirt though.

Ben Forman, who was at JB’s going over his draft of the profile piece, makes to leave but Artie has questions for him too.  Jess asks him if they have any suspects and Artie tells her half the world had it in for Harrison Kane. They do know that at some point the previous night Kane had a visitor from someone who liked cigars and bourbon but that they hadn’t ID’d them yet.

Down at Follies HQ Dean and Gary are getting into it over the phone, ending in Gary telling Dean to treat Ben with more respect or he walks, and Dean telling Gary if he tries to extort more money out of him for Ben they are all finished. Carter the finance guy is there too, freaking out after Harrison’s untimely demise – with him dead, the banks think Follies have no more money, but Dean says he’s got some leads.

Jess is summoned down to the precinct when her fingerprints turn up on a manuscript, but it turns out to be hers – the one Kane was shopping around without permission the previous year. Detective Henderson pops his head in to say they still hadn’t found Gary Manion, and that there were still some prints they hadn’t identified. Artie apologises for dragging Jessica into it and she tells him for what it’s worth she was home alone at the time of the murder.

Out in the street, Carter the finance guy and Ellen the assistant at Follies trade barbs. Ellen is meant to be spying on Dean for Carter, which she initially agreed to when Dean started up with Kathryn but now she wants out and she doesn’t care if Carter tells Dean she was spying for him.

Back at home Jess gets a phone call from Dean asking if she’s heard from Gary Manion or from Ben – he’s gone AWOL and hasn’t submitted his profile on JB. Jess tells him she’ll get right on it, and calls the phone company pretending to be Gary Manion’s secretary. Praise be for lax security.

And now lets take a moment to appreciate how 90s this actually is:

I can’t even.

Jess is hot on the trail of Garry Manion and heads down to his office, where she first runs into Abby Peters and then Artie and Detective Henderson, the latter of which elegantly breaks into the office. There’s no sign of Manion inside, but JB has a sneaking suspicion she knows where to find him.

They head over to Ben’s house, and find Garry on the phone, issuing more ultimatums.

YOU GUYS BEN WAS HIS OWN AGENT ALL ALONG *cue cheesy should have known face at camera*

Artie puts Ben under arrest and they all cruise down to the precinct. While Artie wanders around congratulating himself Ben explains to Jess that Garry Manion was a creation borne out of necessity – editors wouldn’t read his work unless he had an agent and agents wouldn’t look at his work unless he’d already sold something. So, he became Garry Manion.

Preach.

Artie pops back in and confirms that Ben’s prints are all over everything plus someone saw him there. Jess tells him to wait and speak to his lawyer but Ben says there’s no point, he’s ready to sign a confession. Artie’s stoked, he’s got Catskills to get to, but Jess isn’t buying it. She has a theory though.

Meanwhile, Dean and Kathyrn are out to dinner. Dean has an ulterior motive, which Kathryn spots a mile away – Dean needs more money to keep the paper afloat and Kathryn has it. They are interrupted by the appearance of Ellen, who lets Dean know the magazine went to print with the JB article and it’s great. She senses tension and wanders off again. Kathryn tells Dean she’ll think about the loan.

Jess goes to see Abby, and despite the constant interruptions from Dave the 90s guy, manages to get Abby to admit to being in the hotel room.

She also picks up a magazine.

In other news, this episode is ranked #5 in the list of movies and TV that contain a hairdryer in the bathtub according to IMDB.

At his studio, Hans is about to settle in for a solid night of drinking when he finds Carter sitting in a chair.

“The pictures Hans.” Says Carter.

“I haven’t got them.” Says Hans.

“Stop jerking me around Hans.” Says Carter. “Hello Hans. You’re breaking my balls”

The pictures, apparently, are of Kathryn in bed with Harrison Kane, which Carter was going to use to break up Dean and Kathryn. Hans tells Carter he destroyed them.

Back at the police station Abby explains what happened with Harrison and Ben explains that after he saw Abby run out he went in to yell at Harrison, found him dead, freaked out and tried to cover up evidence of Abby’s crime. Except it wasn’t Abby. Artie is delighted Jess convinced her to come forward, he’s sure that hers is the only set of fingerprints left unidentified and it seals Ben’s fate.

Artie’s about to head out at last, when he gets a phone call from Jess – she wants to know where Abby got that magazine from. She tells Artie she doesn’t know, and Artie and Jess go to her apartment to take a look at it. It’s addressed to Hans “You’re breaking my balls” the photographer.

Over dinner that night, Jess tells Dean and Kathyrn that the evidence against Abby is mounting up and that the police are going to search Abby’s apartment the next day. Which is all the bait she needs.

Ahhhh yes.

I mean everyone else had a motive, so why not her? She gave Harrison money to finance a movie that she was meant to be in, but then she found out Harrison had no money so she bumped him off.

Ugh it’s too hot to question this.

Later gang!

 

S10E03 – The Legacy of Borbey House

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Welcome back to the Cove Fletcherfans, where winter is coming, teens are making out in cemeteries and the dead are rising from the grave.

So you know, the usual.

The Boss Lady is getting some construction done on House Fletcher and is packing up things in boxes while the contractor Charles Wetherby makes himself look busy until he finds a note in his toolbox from his missing fiance Laurel. Jessica’s sympathy is shortlived after Charles gets a phone call from his other client Lawrence Baker and leaves, telling Jess he’ll be back in the morning.

Risky life move, buddy. 

Seth pops in just as Charles departs, eyes on Jessica’s peach pie. Jess tells him she gave it to Mort, it would have spoiled what with the lack of electricity and or plumbing in her house.

Seth is about to blow.

As you can see, Seth is apocalyptic. He’s just spent the whole morning dealing with a freaked out teenage girl who saw someone come out of a grave the night before, and now there’s no goddamn pie?

Later that night, local wallpaper peddler Molly Holt drops by Lawrence Baker’s house where she is shown inside by his butler Peter Jatich. She thinks she’s there to show samples but he’s got a whole three-course dinner planned.

I mean it. You get the hell out right now.

Despite Mollie’s protests Baker orders Jatich to start serving the first course. As he heads to the kitchen, he pauses to eavesdrop on the conversation he can hear through the vents.

Later that night, when Molly finally returns home, her father Philip tells her that her boyfriend Dave called to see where she was – apparently she’s broken three dates with him in the last month. Molly says she’s surprised he noticed. Her father tells her to give him a break and she says she has, for eighteen months now. Molly tells him which wallpapers Baker has chosen and Philip simply says that he’s glad he doesn’t have to pay her by the hour.

The next day Molly is around at JB’s to show samples, but she and JB are both distracted – Molly by Lawrence Baker, JB by the complete shermozzle that is renovating her house.

She is so done you guys. (I have no context for this, the only way I could afford to live in a house is if the zombie apocalypse destroys society. I’m not saying I hope it happens, but I wouldn’t mind renovating something)

JB calls time on the whole thing and returns some library books with Seth.

Let’s be honest, it’s also me at the bookshop. And that time I went to the second-hand book sale in Geelong and all the books were a dollar and I passed out.

JB meets visiting writer Dr Howard Sorensen (who was the guy popping out of the grave at the start of the episode, apparently he’s visiting from the netherworld) who explains he’s in town researching the history of the Borbey house. Which just so happens to be the house Lawrence Baker is renovating I mean really what were the odds.

Oh, you guys! Dr Sorenson is being played by the guy who was in charge of all the wildfire in Kings Landing in Game of Thrones. He passed away like a month ago.

Seth thinks the idea is hilarious. Apparently back in the day, the former residents of the Borbey house were killed by a vampire.

“Well despite what the medical establishment would have us believe, Doctor, there are a great many things in this world which defy rational explanation.” Says Dr Sorenson.

Huh. You’re not wrong there.

Jess hurries Seth out of the library before he completely hulks out. Outside they find Dave Perrin, brother of Charles Weatherby’s missing fiance, sticking up posters begging for information about his missing sister. Molly begs him to accept that she’s gone, but he won’t have a bar of it. He tells Seth that his car is fixed just as Mort rolls up in the Mort mobile and thanks JB for the peach pie. He asks how the renovations are going and Seth tells him not to mention the war. Mort’s reason for stopping though is to update Dave on a lead he tracked down about his sister. Apparently, the private investigator Dave hired mistook a 56-year-old short woman for his sister. Mort gently suggests that these leads are eating too much into the department’s sources.

Later that afternoon Mike drops Lawrence Baker’s car off at his house and demands payment. Jatich the butler refuses to let him in, but a sunglasses totin’ Baker says it’s fine. Molly’s told him about Mike, but apparently not that they are going to be engaged. Mike takes a swing at him and is thrown out of the house just as Molly arrives. Once the door closes, Baker takes off his glasses. Because obvs he’s a vampire.

Later that night, the kids from the cemetery are strolling along a path when the girls spot an arm sticking out of the ground and loses her mind. The next morning, Seth and Mort are called to the scene to discover it’s a mannequin arm. Apparently, that’s not cause for alarm BUT I BEG TO DIFFER THOSE THINGS ARE CREEPY AF.

Over at the Borbey house Lawrence Baker has decided a wall needs to come out. Charles tries to explain that it’s a load-bearing wall, and it will cost a lot of money to compensate for it. He quotes double his initial amount for the project, and Baker tells him to do it.

Charles jets over to House Fletcher to tell JB he can’t do her renovations anymore, Baker’s stepped up his demands and he still has to finish the rennos at the sheriff’s office but it’s okay because he’s got someone coming to take over the job who can start that afternoon don’t even worry about it.

Oh, how I know this feeling.

Over at the sheriff’s office, the renos are in fact full steam ahead, much to Mort’s chagrin. He gets a phone call and is about to head out the door when one of the old ducks wanders in to tell him that she saw Dr Sorenson digging up graves at the cemetery the previous night. Mort gets Deputy Andy on the case and rushes out the door – turns out his hot new lead is actually a potential sighting of Laurel, in a critical condition in hospital. He tells Dave who rushes over there. Mort then heads over to the cemetery where the grave of William Borbey has been opened and garlic shoved in.

Later that evening, JB is picking up some wallpaper from Philip and Molly when Old Mate Baker wanders in, wanting to purchase a house Philip has for sale. Philip tells him it isn’t for sale and that the shop is closed. Molly reappears from the back room and is delighted to see “Larry!”

Jess really doesn’t have time for this.

Philip throws “Larry” out of his store and orders him to stay away from his daughter. Molly is a bit peeved at his behaviour, but Philip tells her Lawrence Baker doesn’t exist according to the credit check he got his friend to do down at the bank. Jess finds that interesting, as Eve Simpson told her that Larry paid cash for the house.

What a concept.

Night falls, a storm hits. Dr Sorensen takes it upon himself to do a thorough investigation of Larry by sneaking into his house and taking note of the lack of mirrors and bottles of red liquid because you guys Larry is totes a vampire.  Meanwhile Mort shows off his new sheriff’s office to Seth and JB who are very impressed. Well, JB is, Seth thinks its a waste of taxpayer dollars.

The open for inspection is unfortunately cut short when Mort gets a phone call. There’s been a murder at the old Borbey place. The trio roll on over and find Larry dead on the ground, a stake through his heart.

Because, and I can’t remind you enough (and neither can the MSW writers) LARRY IS 100% TOTES OBVS A VAMPIRE.

Mort tries to hide his belief that Larry was a vampire, despite all evidence to the contrary. Seth tells him that Larry was whacked on the head before getting staked, which does nothing for Mort’s fears. Peter Jatich tells them that the side door was open, which was how the killer got in, and no he wasn’t that upset Larry was bumped off, he wasn’t wild about him.

The next day Dave is hard at work mechanicing when Mort calls to see how he went with the mystery woman. Turns out she wasn’t his sister either, and he didn’t get home til 3am so definitely didn’t stake the vampire. Molly swings by to say how sorry she is it wasn’t Laurel, and he tells her he’s sorry to hear about Larry. It’s awkward.

Down at the police station Dr Sorenson says he was in his hotel room all evening, and he never met Larry #fakenews. JB strolls in armed to the teeth with books and says that Larry was staked with the wrong kind of wood to be killed, it should have been ash, not fir. Jess thinks that someone was trying to make it look like a staking.

Charles pulls her aside and apologises again for the way he skipped out on her reno. JB says whatever. Dr Sorensen announces that the grave he dug up was William Borbey’s and it was empty. He thinks that in fact, Larry IS William Borbey and he’s not dead, only undead.

This episode is ridiculous.

Mort and JB go for a stroll along the water. Mort’s convinced this is some vampiric shenanigans, but Jess is sure there must be a logical explanation. They run into Dave who is showing photos of Laurel’s boat in case it jogs someone’s memory. It does for JB, but not in relation to Laurel. She asks Mort to call the planning board, they need to get over there immediately.

The planning board, it turns out, is being renovated as well and they can’t find the file JB is looking for – the building permit for the Borbey house. Deputy Andy pops up and tells them that Peter Jatich’s fingerprints match those of a known Stasi agent in East Germany.

Mort and Jess confront Peter, but he denies the whole thing. He tells them he heard Larry and Dr Sorenson arguing, but didn’t actually see Dr Sorensen kill Larry. Mort figures either Dr Sorenson is lying or Peter is, but either way they’ve nabbed a killer.

JB has found the inital tender bids for the renovation project and tells Mort she’s not so sure about that.

Of course not, says Mort. And are you going to tell me?

I think JB is just making her own fun at this point.

Instead, JB wanders into the sheriff’s office the next morning and announces to the world that Larry’s attorneys are finishing the renovation, and her contractor is starting the next morning.

Later that night…

I’m not even sure I care at this point.

For you see, Charles bumped off his beloved Laurel when she tried to dump him, and then hid her body in a wall at the Borbey house where he was doing some rennos at the time. Then when Larry wanted him to remove the wall, he killed him.

I mean what even was this episode. Where’d the vampire stuff come from? I’m so confused and hungry.

Let’s just end on the mental image of Mort’s face when he is shown a picture of William Borbey looking identical to Larry Baker and not dwell on whatever the hell this was.

Later gang

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