Home

S06E20 – Shear Madness

Leave a comment

Welcome to Fairville Texas Fletcherfans where the the sky is blue, the leaves are – green probably, and a bus has just arrived into town. Some people get off, including this guy:

Back to him in a sec

He arrives, he takes his suitcase, he tries to make a phone call. More later.

But frankly I’d like to talk about how this guy:

(This one is for the boys with the boomin systems)

YEP.

Grew up into this guy:

Frankly I don’t know how I can continue with this, but I will do my best.

While we all dwell in this new reality where Joseph Gordon Levitt was once in Murder She Wrote, Our Heroine is helping her cousin Ann Owens Arden prepare for her upcoming wedding to Bill Spenser, renowned bad boy turned good. Or so says Ann’s sister.

Sorry Doris. You aren't the best cameo in this episode.

Sorry Doris. You aren’t the best cameo in this episode.

While Ann gets coffee ready for the rehearsal dinner, Helen and Jess take her dress and things upstairs, laughing when Jess forgets to skip the squeaky step. You guys, I think this might come up again later. Jess remarks that nothing in the house has changed, and apparently apart from getting a new fridge, nothing has.

Helen tells JB that she will be moving out once the marriage happens, she refuses to share a house with Billy Spenser. Jess thinks he can’t be as bad as all that, some youthful scrapes but nothing serious. Helen tells her Billy was the wildest boy in town with never a dime to his name. Jess says that’s obviously changed now that he spent 15 years making his fortune in Alaska. Helen conceeds that Billy doesn’t have the gambling debts of Anne’s last fiance, but he’s bad news and wrong for Ann. DEAD WRONG.

PROPHETIC STATEMENT IS PROPHETIC PROBABLY.

Speaking of the devil, Billy arrives and is delighted to meet the famous cousin Jess. He’s just sorry that his future brother-in-law George is too unwell to attend the wedding. Jess is surprised to hear this, she thought Ann had said that George was getting better, but Ann quickly says overall the doctors are encouraged but he couldn’t attend. Billy says he knows depression can be tough, not that he’s ever had to deal with it.

THAT FACE IS GLORIOUS I MUST LEARN IT

THAT FACE IS GLORIOUS I MUST LEARN IT

The doorbell rings and Helen goes to see if it’s the Reverend in time for the rehearsal. Jess helps Ann with the coffee and wants to know just what is going on? How does Billy not know about George?

Ann tells her she hasn’t told Billy the whole story, because she doesn’t really understand what happened. George idolised her former fiancee Nathan. Jess agreed but thinks surely Billy won’t be worried about something that happened 15 years ago, and that surely he’s heard gossip. Ann tells her that if he has, he hasn’t said anything.

The rehearsal kicks off with Helen busting out her rendition of Meatloaf’s “I Would Do Anything For Love But I Won’t Do That’.

h1

h2

Seems like a weird choice for a wedding though,

Seems like a weird choice for a wedding though.

Just as the rehearsal concludes, Ann gets a phone call. She tells them it’s Rosemary Taylor down at the paper, who is covering the wedding party that night and got confused about some of the details, although Ann seems more rattled than a call about details. Helen still thinks it’s weird that they are having the wedding reception before the actual wedding but Billy tells them he and Helen have a flight to catch and a cruise to make. The reverend tells them he’ll make it quick. As he leaves, Ann opens the door and finds George.

George is in fact auditioning for Children of the Corn: They're Ba-ack!

George is in fact auditioning for Children of the Corn: They’re Ba-ack!

Needless to say everyone is a little bit surprised to see George, which confuses him since the hospital told him that they would let his family know. George himself is a lot surprised when Billy introduces himself as Ann’s fiance. Billy tells Ann to show George her ring and for a second he is hypotised.

The Reverend quickly departs, telling them he will see them all tonight. Billy departs as well, telling Ann he has a little errand to run. Ann tells Helen to show George up to his room while she and JB fix him some food. Ann gets on the phone to the hospital who confirm George has been released but she can’t speak to his psychiatrist as he left that morning and hasn’t been seen since. Ann confesses to JB that she loves her brother, but that he scares her.

Meanwhile, it turns out Billy’s errand is to the newspaper to see Rosemary Taylor. He’s furious with her, saying he was there when she called Ann. “Oh, then you must have met George! I saw him get off the bus –

(This one is for the boys with the boomin systems)

I wasn’t sure if it was him or not

(This one is for the boys with the boomin systems)

so I made a few calls before I called Ann.”

Oh right, she’s talking about George.

Rosemary and Billy are soon joined by Rosemary’s daughter Meg who’s just found the newspaper her mother was looking for. Billy takes one look at Meg and departs, leaving them to look at the headline.

A newspaper. That thing that Buzzfeed isn't.

A newspaper. That thing that Buzzfeed isn’t.

Later that night the party is in full swing(ish) and Jess and George are having the time of their lives.

George remembers his great aunt’s punch recipe fondly, but still can’t remember the night he bumped off his sister’s husband. Problematic. They are blinded by a flash – Meg and Rosemary have arrived and Jess swears she’s met Meg before (but apparently not, according to Meg). Rosemary on the other hand is dying to know how George is post-hospital life. She’s knows how hard it must have been, she’s seen One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.

Amen

Amen

She asks him all about his therapy, and whether or not he had shock therapy, and he tells her no, she can check his records. This is music to her ears, she has big plans for an article about George. Or 2! Or 3! George starts to panic and tells them he needs air. Ann, Helen and Billy arrive just as he leaves and Ann demands to know what Rosemary said to George. She denies saying anything, but when Billy orders her to leave Meg sparks up, saying Billy has no right to speak to her mother like that. Rosemary shrugs it off, and they depart.

God this is exhausting.

Later, one of the caterers brings Billy a note she found left for him on the veranda. Jokes fly about a secret admirer but Billy informs them it’s just a business thing and heads for the cellar, where someone stabs him with some gardening shears because duh.

An hour later, as the final guests are departing, Ann is worried about Billy but has to contend with an excess of leftovers. She gets Jess to fish out the cheque and goes to show the caterers where the old fridge is in the cellar. Jess finds the cheque, along with a written telephone message saying George had been released and asking them to call Dr Carlsson. Helen finds JB with her hand in the till (so to speak) but when Jess asks her why she didn’t tell Ann about George’s release she says there wasn’t time. She herself didn’t speak to Dr Carlsson either, it was his secretary. All she knew was that Dr Carlsson was very upset that George had been released.

A scream from the basement – Ann’s just found Billy. When the police arrive Jess begs them to defer questioning until the next day, as Ann has been sedated. The Sheriff is fine with that, it’s an open and shut case – exactly like the one 15 years earlier. George was clearly guilty. Jess is suspicious – how can George recreate exactly a murder he doesn’t even remember committing? The Sheriff tells her the details were in the papers, it wouldn’t be hard.

Shouting erupts from upstairs and the Sheriff is summoned. The source of the commotion is Dr Carlsson who says George was one of his patients.

Actual quote. (Actually snort laughed).

Actual quote. (Actually snort laughed).

Doctor Carlsson informs them that George is basically a zero change of killing someone. He was against George’s release because he felt that George was on the brink of remembering the night Ann’s last fiance died, and to return home prematurely could jeopardise that. The Sheriff doesn’t care, and tells them he will post a man outside in case George comes home. Carlsson tells JB that George was beginning to remember one detail from the night of the murder – seeing something shiny. He tells Jess he will go get a room at the hotel and call her in the morning to see if he can be of assistance.

Meanwhile, on the veranda:

Children of the shrubbery

Children of the shrubbery

The next morning Helen and Jess try to take care of Ann but she’s determined to get things done. Helen offers to drive her to the mortuary to make arrangements for the funeral, and Jess volunteers to stay behind in case George turns up. Ann hears the squeaky floorboard go and rushes to get ready. Jess rushes down after Helen, herself stepping on the squeaky floorboard, but Helen is nowhere to be seen. As Jess hunts for Helen she notices the crime scene tape is all cut up on the door to the cellar. She goes to investigate and finds Meg taking pictures. Meg rushes out a side door, and JB returns to the front door to try and stop her before she gets away. Instead she finds Rosemary, who says she’s been knocking but no-one heard her. Rosemary is just after a quote from the family for the paper, she doesn’t want to intrude, she remembers how brutal the first crime scene was with blood all over the walls and the fridge and the whatnot. Jess enquires as to why Meg was down their taking pictures if she was so horrified, and Rosemary tells her she is wrong. Meg is at the fairground.

Later that night (my god this episode just keeps going), Jess gets a phone call from Helen – the storm is pretty bad and they are going to wait until it passes before driving home. Jess promises to check on the windows, and as she goes to the stairs she spots muddy footprints leading up – footprints that skip the squeaky step. She follows the trail upstairs and finds George, holding the bloodied pruning shears. Because SHEAR MADNESS GUYS GEDDIT.

George tells JB that he had returned to the house just in time to hear what he had done, and hid again, only coming out to pack his things. As he packed though he found the murder weapon. George catches sight of JB’s brooch and starts mumbling about seeing Ann’s jewellery in the basement as the Sheriff appears to disarm the situation. He agrees to let Dr Carlsson see George the next day.

Dr Carlsson hypnotises George to take him back to the night of Nathan the first fiancee’s murder. George finally remembers what happened – that he busted Nathan trying to steal Ann’s jewellery to pay off a gambling debt and when George tried to stop him Nathan went for the shears. Long story short, self defence!

The Sheriff is unmoved by this revelation – it doesn’t prove George didn’t kill Billy. Au contraire, Sheriff. JB thinks it proves exactly that, and what’s more she knows who did kill Billy – she just doesn’t quite know how to prove it yet. She and the sheriff go to the newspaper to ask Rosemary about her daughter’s whereabouts, but Rosemary refuses to believe that Meg had anything to do with it – she had no motive! No motive, says Jess, except that Billy Spenser was her father.

At the realisation that the truth is out about Meg’s paternity, and the fact that Meg put the shears in George’s desk, Rosemary finally comes clean.

You guys will never know how much I wanted to write Doris Roberts of DEATH but it just wasn't to be.

You guys will never know how much I wanted to write Doris Roberts of DEATH but it just wasn’t to be.

The sheriff apologises – to JB. He was convinced it was the daughter, but JB knew it – she knew it when Rosemary said the fridge had been covered in blood 15 years earlier when the fridge had only been moved down a month ago. Also, something something squeaky stairs and revenge for Billy leaving her pregnant.

Guys I’m not going to lie to you. The whole time I wrote this my brain was doing this. I need to lie down and reassess my life up until this point.

Later gang!

Later gang!

S06E19 – Always a Thief

2 Comments

We're ba-ack!

We’re ba-ack!

Apologies for the break in transmission Fletcherfans but there was shenanigans a-plenty this summer, including the safe arrival of my nephew Harry  James Williamson as you can see by this incredibly Youtube recreation of our meeting.

On second thoughts, not so accurate. My brother doesn’t have that much hair. I am definitely a hornbill though. And my sister-in-law is basically Nala. And I’m almost certain my brother’s puppies bowed.

I should also mention, the blog appears to have accumulated some new followers so if you’ve just wandered onto this omnishambles of a blog I say welcome! And sorry! And I hope you enjoyed Breaking Bad because that comes up way more often than you think.

But never mind all of that, because we have business to attend to and by business I mean bookends. Our Heroine has just received a cassette tape letter from her old pal Dennis The Menace Stanton and while it was adequate, she can’t help but think of an earlier cassette he sent her about a case he’d worked on. Because as it turns out, Dennis The Menace has retired from being a cat burglar and is now a..er…consultant to insurance companies.

Would you like to hear the tale?

That question was purely rhetorical.

That question was purely rhetorical.

Imagine, if you will, a cafe in San Francisco called the Pepper Pot Cafe. Now imagine that the owner, a Mr Langston ‘Lanny’ Douglas has squandered his family fortune including the cafe.

Also, you probably aren’t imagining Lanny properly, so let me help you out a little:

SO GROSS.

SO GROSS.

Now imagine a mysterious stranger called Mahmoud Amini wanders in offering Lanny a lifeline – 10% of 2 million dollars. $200,000 grand easy money, as long as he convinces his mother to sell Amini a priceless Stuart Silver dollar that Lanny’s father bought not that long ago for a whopping five hundred grand.

(Bless the 80s. You can’t buy an apartment for that in Melbourne).

Lanny’s mother, Monica Douglas, is less impressed, mostly because she already has 2 million dollars and a great deal more besides. In fact, Andrea is furious that these foreigners insist on coming over and buying up her heritage. Her husband loved that coin and she won’t be parted from it.

 

**not code

 

Poor, poor Lanny.

 

Possibly not petunias. But definitely Pedro.

Possibly not petunias. But definitely Pedro.

More on Pedro later.

To make Lanny’s day just that little bit better, his wife Andrea saw the whole failed shambles and is toasting him with a 2pm whiskey.

 

*bah-boom tish*

*bah-boom tish*

Andrea’s got bad news for Lanny – she talked to her father about borrowing more money from him and while it amused him no end, the money ain’t coming. Lanny announces he won’t be home that night, he has to “work” in the city to which Andrea retorts that she knows how to play too. As Lanny departs Andrea realises someone has been eavesdropping.

Later that night, Lanny hatches his DIABOLICAL SCHEME.

Classic Lanny.

Classic Lanny.

Lanny sneaks into the study, opens the safe, steals all the jewelry inside, closes the safe, puts gelignite on the safe and blows up the safe closes the door to the patio, smashes the glass in the door for good measure and is promptly busted by Pedro the gardener, whom Lanny promptly stabs to death with a pitchfork.

Guys, Lanny is an arsehole. Who apparently has access to mild explosives. But apparently we shouldn’t dwell on that.

The next morning, the cavalry arrive in the form of Lieutenant Catalano (being played by Ken Swofford, because always). Catalano gets the low down from Mrs Douglas before noticing a familiar figure gazing at a painting in the next room.

Oh Dennis. I actually have missed you.

Oh Dennis. I actually have missed you.

Dennis informs Catalano that his bosses are the insurers of the magical silver dollar, and he’d like a word with Mrs Douglas if he might. Catalano can’t think of any objections so Dennis heads on in to see Mrs Douglas, now joined by her sister Grace Lambert (aka the woman overhearing arguments the previous day). Dennis gently interrogates them about the other occupants of the house, which Grace sees through in about 5 seconds. She asks him why he’s so interested in the fact that Lanny spent the night at a hotel in the city.

Why? Because Dennis smells a rat, that’s why and he says as much to his assistant back in the office. The timeline of the theft is all wrong. If Monica heard the bang and rushed straight downstairs as she claims, there would hardly be time for a thief to ransack the safe, smash the door, kill Pedro and flee the scene. And let’s not forget dear old Lanny’s been harassing his mother to sell the coin.  Dennis gets his assistant to track down the mysterious Mr Amini, while he pays a visit on Lanny.

On arriving at the Pepper Pot, Dennis nearly crashes into a hastily departing vehicle being driven by someone who isn’t Lanny. Dennis receives some resistance from Lanny’s associate on the desk, but after displaying the fact that HIS UMBRELLA HAS A SWORD IN IT (WTF?) Dennis convinces the man to stand aside, leaving the doorway clear. Inside, the office is empty but Dennis notices a small pool of blood, and a photo of Lanny and his wife posed in the office next to a ridiculously over-sized golf trophy, now missing. Dennis bids Lanny’s minion good day and returns to his office to fill Lieutenant Catalano in. Catalano is surprised to hear that Lanny Douglas is almost certainly deceased, and probably at the hand of the mysterious driver of the car. When pressed for more information, Dennis simply says “I’ve given you my pearls, don’t ask me to string them for you too”.

Almost definitely code.

Dennis’s next visit is to Mr Amini, who is Mr Affable until Dennis confronts him about the coin. He denies all knowledge of anything ever in the history of time, but after being informed the likely sentence for murder he comes clean. He did receive a coin from Lanny, paid for in 2 mill in cash, but it was a fake. Amini was outraged, but not as outraged as Lanny was when Amini got him on the phone. They had made plans to meet later that day to sort the matter out, so to hear Dennis’s theory that Lanny is now dead is worrying for Amini.

Later that night, the old guy in the car pulls up beside a ditch, pulls Lanny’s body out of the trunk of the car and throws him in it.

Conclusive.

The next day, Dennis’s expert confirms that the coin is a fake and demands her payment be dinner with Dennis that Friday. Dennis looks unhappy at the prospect.

Dennis is about to out-Hegarty Hegarty.

Dennis is about to out-Hegarty Hegarty.

Dennis’s boss is curious though. Who has the coin? Lanny? Dennis thinks not, and here’s another thing – where’s the 2 million dollars?

Dennis returns to the scene of all the crimes, and on the way in passes the mysterious car driver leaving the Douglas family driveway. Inside, Grace Lambert informs Dennis that Monica is too worried about her son to see him right now. It’s clear that Grace doesn’t like Dennis very much. (Possibly wise.) Dennis asks about the mysterious man in the car, and Grace tells him that that was Lanny’s father -in-law, Ray Bascomb.

THIS PLOT IS THICK FLETCHERFANS.

As Dennis departs he runs into Lieutenant Catalano, who tells him Lanny Douglas’s body has just been discovered. Back at the office Dennis is filled in by his assistant about the body, and that Lanny still had his wallet, cash and ring on him, so it probably wasn’t robbery. Except the silver dollar and the 2 mill are missing so it almost definitely was. Dennis tells his assistant to find out all she can about Grace Lambert while he pays a visit on Ray Bascomb.

Ray is hard at work overseeing a photoshoot involving a model and some pigeons but takes time to inform Dennis he was shocked by the news of his son-in-law’s death.

“Was that before or after you killed him?” Dennis inquires.

Bascomb doesn’t take very kindly to this, and refuses to say another word. Not when Dennis explains that he knows Ray went to see Lanny. Not when Dennis informs him that it’s impossible to remove all evidence of a dead body from a car. Not when Dennis tells him that the police are at the site where the body was dumped taking plaster casts of the car treads. Not even when Dennis takes that back, as the sirens grow louder, and he tells Ray he thinks they’ve finished.

At the police station, Ray tells Dennis and Catalano that he went to see his son-in-law to not give him money to his face, but that he didn’t kill him. Catalano gets called away, but Dennis isn’t done yet. He asks Ray if it’s true that he only went to see Lanny after a hysterical phone call his secretary remembers he got at work. Dennis thinks Andrea killed Lanny and got her father to cover it up but Ray ain’t talkin.

Dennis returns to House Douglas but is refused entry by a super-apologetic housekeeper who tells him Monica is out and Andrea is not to be seen by anyone. Dennis gallantly responds to this news by jumping into the nearest hedge.

I can relate. I have a sneaking suspicion I too have jumped into a hedge yelling FOR SPARTAAAAA at some point. #dejavu

I can relate. I have a sneaking suspicion I too have jumped into a hedge yelling FOR SPARTAAAAA at some point. #dejavu

Dennis might not have quite achieved high level ninja status but he has achieved boss level cat burglar status and so climbs the nearest drainpipe to see Andrea for himself. Inside, Andrea comes clean.

Well, Dennis said it was so, and lo so it was. Or something. Honestly, I'm still wondering whose bush I jumped into.

Well, Dennis said it was so, and lo so it was. Or something. Honestly, I’m still wondering whose bush I jumped into.

She went to see him and they fought. He told her he didn’t need her any more so she lashed out. She doesn’t want her father to go to prison for her crime, and asks Dennis to take her to the police station. Dennis agrees, but has one last question – does she remember seeing a brown briefcase in the office when she was there with Lanny?

Andrea does, but wants to know why that’s important. Dennis tells her it’s terribly important – the briefcase was gone by the time her father went round to move the body.

Oh yeah, that whole burglary business.

Back at the Pepperpot Cafe, Lanny’s minion (whose name, it turns out, is Joey Freeman) has just closed up for the night and is set to kick back in the freezer room with his briefcase full of money when Dennis sneaks up on him. Joey pulls a gun and warns Dennis not to come any closer, he knows about Dennis’s magical umbrella/sword. Dennis informs him is umbrella isn’t also a sword, aims the umbrella AND SHOOTS A TRANQUILIZER DART INTO JOEY’S NECK DENNIS STANTON WHAT EVEN ARE YOU??

Dennis delicately steps over a now comatose Joey, retrieves the money and departs. The next day, Dennis goes to explain the whole story to Monica Douglas who is naturally devastated by the whole situation. Dennis isn’t done though – he thinks he’s worked out why Grace doesn’t like him. He thinks he reminds her of someone she once loved – Jerome Woodward.

Monica is surprised – that was ten years ago, who told him about that? Dennis makes it his business to know who he’s dealing with. Monica says it was a difficult time in their lives, but Grace returns and says it wasn’t for her. It was, for awhile, a wonderful time. She offers to show the grounds to Dennis who cheerfully accepts.

As they stroll, the story comes out. The story about how Grace was wooed by a rogue who went after her money, and how he convinced her to swap the original Stuart silver dollar for a fake, and who ran off with it.

Dennis is outraged and promptly invites himself to lunch to cheer Grace up immediately.

And so ends the Case of the Silver Coin.

Keith Michell passed away just before Christmas so in honour of everyone’s favourite reformed cat burglar:

And if I jumped into your bush yelling FOR SPARTAAA then I apologise.

And if I jumped into your bush yelling FOR SPARTAAA then I apologise.

 

Breaking news…

Leave a comment

Hello Fletcherfans!

I’m back in Tasmania this week hanging out with my little nephew Harry James, who is now 10 days old. Harry is awesome, Tasmania is mostly on fire so let’s hope it rains soon.

By the power vested in me, by me, I pronounce Murder She Blogged back on the air on January 31.

(It should have been sooner, but someone*** accidentally watched all 10 episodes of Making A Murderer in 1 day instead of writing.)

***This someone also got busted singing Walk Like An Egyptian to herself when she incorrectly thought noone was in the gym changerooms.

***Yes it was me.

And now a word from our sponsor

2 Comments

I wonder if I will ever get sick of this picture?

I wonder if I will ever get sick of this picture?

Salutations Fletcherfans!

As we all know, December is Latin for YOU WILL NOT HAVE TIME TO BREATHE AND ALSO YOU WILL HAVE TO DO YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING WITH A HANGOVER I THOUGHT WE TALKED ABOUT THIS (little known fact).

So, it’s time for the blog to go on a bit of a hiatus while I head down to Tasmania, eat all the things, teach my brother’s puppies several new tricks that they probably shouldn’t know about, and wait for the imminent arrival of my niece/nephew who is scheduled to make their debut in early January (I’ve already named him/her Ralph. Because I’m a top aunty).

So until my return, I hope you all have a fabulous Christmas, and it snows the appropriate amount for your location. (For my American friends, it’s going to be over 100 degrees for the next few days here in Oz. Literally noone is happy about this apart from me).

See you in 2016 gang!

S06E18 – O’Malleys Luck

1 Comment

DISCLAIMER: You may notice that the captions bear less relevance to Murder She Wrote than usual. In fact, this post is about 25% Murder She Wrote and 739% about me watching all of Jessica Jones in 4 days. If you haven’t watched Jessica Jones yet, come back later because spoilers sweetie.

Oh for God’s sake. 

You guys can we talk about how freaking amazing Jessica Jones was?

You guys can we talk about how freaking amazing Jessica Jones was? And how freaking CREEPY David Tennant was?

You guessed it guys, another bookend episode. This time, Jess has just received a (late) birthday card from her friend Lieutenant O’Malley who has a tale to tell her. Convenient.

This particular tale centres around a real estate magnate, Roland Trent, who is currently far too busy wheeling and dealing to worry about his upcoming tenth wedding anniversary, much to the annoyance of his wife Gretchen. At the same time O’Malley is dealing with his late partner’s daughters demotion from working at city hall to being a beat cop after she rather neatly rejected the advances of one of the deputy mayor’s aides, Paul Abbott.

Like in the first episode when Jessica had that flashback and Killgrave was licking her face I mean bloody hell I was unprepared.

Like in the first episode when Jessica had that flashback and Killgrave was licking her face I mean bloody hell I was unprepared.

While we’re on the subject of creepy dudes being creepy, Roland Trent is going ‘out to dinner’ with his ‘lawyer’ to discuss business, but Gretchen sees right through it. He tells her not to wait up. Ugh. Gretchen’s secretary, Alice, sees how distressed her boss is and suggests they go back to the office to finish the letters they were working on. It turns out dinner wasn’t entirely code, as in the beginning that’s all it is – Trent asking his lawyer David Kingston for a way out of his marriage and Kingston telling him that there isn’t one unless he’s prepared to give up half of everything he owns. They are soon joined by Trent’s new bit of fluff, Cindy and David departs, reminding his client that he has a meeting at 9:30 the next morning, making Trent realise he’d left his briefcase at the office.

Down at the precinct O’Malley is not pleased to hear about the snake Abbott’s advances towards his partner’s daughter, Frances Rawley, and decides to give her a promotion to being his partner. She is stoked, and wants to know what they will be working on. O’Malley tells her that things had been slow but he had a feeling that something was about to happen.

Like Roland Trent typing a fake suicide note and then throwing his dead wife off the balcony?

And when Hope killed her parents! Goddamn. And poor Ruben :*( But damn that show was so unsettling

But the whole thing about Killgrave literally being everywhere and stalking her from a distance DEAR GOD.

O’Malley and Frances are called to the scene, where they find Detective Grillo already chalking it up as as suicide, and takes the opportunity to hit on Frances while O’Malley notices that one bookend is cleaner than another. (Honestly though. Killed by a bookend in a bookend episode. JUST CALM DOWN MURDER SHE WROTE WRITERS ALRIGHT?)

Roland Trent appears from the private elevator (because you’re only really a success if you have more than one lift into your office) and wants to know why the police are investigating since it’s clear his wife committed suicide. O’Malley tells him his cleaning crew is no good – they only cleaned one bookend and left it wet on the wooden cupboard. O’Malley also can’t help but notice that Trent hasn’t asked to see the suicide note yet, and Trent tells him that it’s because he’s worried about what it might contain. O’Malley assures him there’s nothing to worry about and Trent takes a look AT THE NOTE HE WROTE. He asks for it to be returned to him once the investigation is over and goes downstairs to meet his lawyer who apparently just heard the news. In the car, Trent asks Kingston what he knows about O’Malley – Kingston tells him that O’Malley’s service record is the best in the department but that he does get into trouble occasionally. Trent hopes that this is one such occassion.

Sidenote, I’ve just realised that O’Malley is the original Commissioner Gordon. I thought I recognised his face.

And the way Killgrave tries to justify himself and says he acted impeccably WTF.

And the way Killgrave tries to justify himself and says he acted impeccably towards Jessica WTF. 

Back at the precinct, O’Malley and Rawley discuss the case with O’Malley’s boss Captain Cohen, who orders O’Malley to shut the investigation down, until he learns that the suicide was almost certainly murder.

The next day, Trent sees the DO NOT CROSS tape across his private elevator and shouts YOLO (part of this isn’t true). Unfortunately for him, O’Malley is upstairs and is rather surprised to see Trent at work, what with the likely homicide of his wife and all, since the hobo that lives in the alley downstairs never heard Gretchen scream. O’Malley escorts Trent from the office, saying he doesn’t want to make him late for his lunch appointment.

While O’Malley deals with the ‘grieving’ widow, Rawley goes to see Gretchen’s assistant Alice who actually is grieving. She tells Frances that Trent found them working the night  Gretchen died (Alice typing Gretchen’s dictated letters due to her terrible writing) and lost his mind at the thought his wife was trying to force him out. It was only when Alice assured him they would be gone within the hour that he calmed down enough to leave, although forgetting his briefcase again. Frances asks her if she thought Gretchen committed suicide and she says absolutely not, though she wouldn’t know anything about Trent’s extra-curricular activities. Frances reports back to O’Malley who doesn’t quite know what to make of it either. They are interrupted by Sergeant Grillo, who informs O’Malley that he’s wanted back at the precinct to confirm that Gretchen’s death was a suicide. This doesn’t quite go the way the captain plans, as O’Malley informs the gathered press that there is no evidence at this time that Gretchen Trent was murdered. The press pounce on that and O’Malley admits that Roland Trent is a suspect, causing the watching Trent to lose his mind at his television. After the press conference, the captain tells O’Malley his days as a cop are numbered.

After Trent gives a very cold and deliberate comment to a media pack loitering outside his office, in which he declares he has an alibi who will come forward and clear his name, Kingston accompanies Cindy the secretary/mistress to the police station the next day. Frances is surprised to see Kingston, as she recognises him from his frequent visits to Paul Abbott’s office. O’Malley excuses himself, saying he has a meeting he needs to barge into.

Cindy swears that Trent was with her from when he left his office after fighting with his wife, until learning of the suicide on the news later that night. O’Malley confirms that Cindy knowing Trent for several months means what he thinks it means, and remarks on the fact that noone else knew about her. Cindy tells him they kept it very quiet, and that she’d never even been to Trent’s office. After she and Kingston leave, O’Malley swears to the captain that he will do whatever it takes to save the department from embarrassment, which doesn’t delight the captain.

And comparing Killgrave's shitty upbringing with Jessica's childhood, and the nature of victimhood and JESUS WHEN HOPE DIES I MEAN WHAT THE HELL.

And comparing Killgrave’s shitty upbringing with Jessica’s childhood, and the nature of victimhood and JESUS WHEN HOPE DIES I MEAN WHAT THE HELL.

A court order procured, O’Malley and Frances head down to Paul Abbott’s office to get the tape conversations his secretary so helpfully told Frances about at the beginning of the episode. Roland Trent’s shady business practices revealed it becomes clear that Trent couldn’t leave his wife or let his wife leave him. Which was bad news for Cindy.

And the whole thing with Jessica's childhood house!

And the whole thing with Jessica’s childhood house!

I think though, that the below picture sums up this episode quite nicely:

But that last scene on the dock, with what Killgrave threatens to do to Trish. I watched that whole damn episode with my hand over my mouth.

But that last scene on the dock, with what Killgrave threatens to do to Trish. I watched that whole damn episode with my hand over my mouth.

I think we all learned a valuable lesson about me bingeing on TV shows. IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NO EFFECT ON ME AT ALL.

Later gang!

Later gang!

S06E17 – Murder (According to Maggie)

2 Comments

 

THE BOSS IS TALKING

THE BOSS IS TALKING

That grin can only mean one thing – it’s storytime with JB. Again. (HOW DID THEY GET AWAY WITH THIS FOR SO LONG!!!)

This week, Our Heroine would like to tell you about her favourite student, Mary Margaret McAuley, a talented writer who couldn’t get anything published until she started writing hardboiled detective fiction. Her newest job is as creator of the TV show Beat Cop, starring Bert Rogers as the aforementioned cop, assisted by the token blonde Dana Darren.

Margaret is hard at work on the next script when she gets a phone call from her assistant Vi – there’s trouble on set. Apparently Beat Cop doesn’t like the idea that he has to wait for forensics before proving who the killer is. After some fancy negotiating, Mary Mac gets Dana’s character to make the call, allowing Bert’s character the satisfaction of catching the killer using nothing but a hunch.

UGH.

On her way back to the office Mary Mac gets a visit from her agent, Leo Kaplan. She’s excited to see him and to find out what his other client thought about her script (about relationships and whatnot) but is less than enthused when she learns that he didn’t actually read the script, but he liked the summary his reader gave his secretary. Leo’s actual business on the set is to talk about the future of Beat Cop. The new big boss of the network, Keith Carmody isn’t a fan despite having told the head of the production company, Brian Thursdan, that he never watched the show. His second in command, Julie Pritzer, tries to calm Brian down after he storms out of the meeting but to little effect.  Meanwhile, Mary Mac goes to see the inspiration for the show (and potential crush) Lieutenant Vincent Palermo to tell him the news that Beat Cop might be off the air, but he doesn’t seem all that upset about it.

Later that night, Elizabeth has another crack at dissuading Carmody from cancelling Beat Cop but Keith tells her her job is to look pretty and take pointless meetings.

My how times haven't changed...

My how times haven’t changed…

As Julie leaves, Keith gets a phone call from Brian to discuss Beat Cop but he’s not interested – until Brian puts network owner Harriet De Vol on the phone. Clearly it works out because Mac gets a phone call from Brian saying the show is possibly saved – Keith has agreed to watch some episodes of the show and Mary Mac is charge of which ones, booking the screening room and watching the episodes with Keith. Brian would love to help but he has a development meeting.

The next morning, while Vi puts all the coffee in the coffee pot (VI 4 PM), and Mary Mac tries to sort out how to save the show, Bert Rogers storms in in a huff – he got a phone call from his agent at 6am that morning saying that the show was cancelled. Mary Mac tells him to calm down, and in any case, wasn’t he planning to quit anyway? Bert tells her she shouldn’t believe things just because he says them and tells her that if she doesn’t sort out Keith Carmody he will.

Speaking of. Keith, ensconced in a screening room, is on the phone to someone trying to work out how to remove Harriet De Vol from the equation when someone helpfully sticks a gun through the curtain and shoots him twice. Lieutenant Palermo is called in and learns from the projectionist that he didn’t hear the shots go off, on account of Beat Cop being on the screen. One of Palermo’s minions finds the gun and a hidden door.

While Palermo goes about his 5-0 business, Mary Mac takes care of Brian who has appeared at the studio in a panic – with Keith dead Julie will take over the network, he needs to get in touch with her double quick. Mary Mac tells him that Julie was the one who found Keith’s body and is in the commissary coming to terms.

Awesome, Brian probably says. Which way to the commissary?

d2

While Brian goes off to hurl sympathy at Julie, Mary Mac accompanies Palermo to the set of Beat Cop. Cast and crew are all surprised to learn that Keith was murdered, and didn’t die of boredom (I don’t think Beat Cop had bookend episiodes, so I can’t imagine why that would happen). Palermo checks alibis and the only person with a shonky one is Bert.

One of Palermo’s lackeys comes to tell him he’s learned something interesting from the prop guy, who in turn informs them that the prop box has been broken into and one of the guns is missing – Bert’s gun to be precise.

Palermo throws Bert in jail for the time being, leaving Mary Mac to tell the director to shoot around the fact that their leading man is now conspicuously unavailable, while at the same time fending off Leo Kaplan who has a convenient list of people (clients) who could replace Bert on the show. She gets a panicked phone call from Brian begging her to come meet with Julie at the network.

Julie, who has hit the ground running despite the terrible shock of finding Keith’s body, tells them that she’s not sure that Beat Cop can survive without Bert Rodgers, and in any case she has a plan for giving Dana Darren her own show as a brain surgeon at a top metropolitan hospital. Ugh. These were clearly the days when the go-to TV shows were cop or doc, before the days of reality TV when you get 37 variations of Australian Model Factor Idol Talent Home Renovation Chef Rescue Kitchen Block.

(I reject all forms of reality, but especially reality television).

After the meeting, Brian begs Mary Mac to help Palermo solve the case/get Bert out of jail, and promises to get the pilot of her romantic story Love in Naples off the ground. Mary Mac asks if Brian is yanking her chain, and Brian says trust me.

When does that ever fail to be a good idea?

When does that ever fail to be a good idea?

Mary Mac visits Bert in prison and gets him to stop crying long enough to swear he didn’t kill Keith. Palermo is unmoved by this fact, nor by Mary Mac’s theory that the only reason that Bert’s prints are on the gun is because the killer wore gloves. Palermo tells Mary to go back to her typewriter.

On set, Mary Mac finds Dana to ask her about the medical show, and to find out why she lied about her alibi. Dana tells her that while she was on the phone to a Broadway producer, a more accurate view would be she was on the phone to his answering machine. Then she was with Leo for 30 minutes after that, which isn’t what Leo says at all. The medical show, it turns out, is being put together by Leo’s agency – in other words Mary Mac’s agent was getting the star of her show a show of her own to replace Mary Mac’s show.

Good old Hollywood forever.

Mary gets the lowdown on the hidden door from the security guard, Burnsy, who also tells her a story from back in the day, when Andy Butler (who plays Beat Cop’s boss) was on a different show that ended up being cancelled by Keith Carmody.  That night, she and Brian update Harriet De Vol on the latest developments and she tells them that the show is cancelled without Bert Rodgers.

Back in her office, Mary Mac sends Vi home and stays to watch what the editor had cobbled together from the day’s shooting. Alas there is a continuity error, and a pencil appears and reappears in the pocket of Andy Butler. She calls the director, Al, to work out what time the footage was filmed. goes back to the studio and….oh come on now.

WHAT THE HELL

WHAT THE HELL

It would seem that Andy couldn’t deal with the idea of Keith cancelling another one of his shows. And apparently he would have gotten away with it if he hadn’t dropped a pencil, and if Mary Mac hadn’t noticed the pencil and decided that it was clearly the PENCIL OF A KILLER.

Worst. Episode. Ever. Now, if y’all will excuse me, to compensate for this, I am going to go binge-watch Jessica Jones until my eyes fall out of my head.

See you next week Fletcherfans!

See you next week Fletcherfans!

 

 

S06E16 – The Big Show of 1965

4 Comments

Back to New York City this week Fletcherfans, where JB is in the offices of Reynolds and Company publishers being pitched a book idea by Scott Fielding, vice-president of marketing and development. He wants her to write a book about the murder of Richie Kane, a massive star in the 60s. JB remembers him well, but Scott tells her he was in nursery school the year Richie died, 1965.

FLETCH MAD.

FLETCH MAD.

JB is confused as to how she got involved in all of this, but it turns out Scott has a plan. The Haley sisters, who made their debut on the Barry Barnes show the night Richie Kane was murdered, and who quietly retired out of the spotlight in 1974, are coming back to do a Barry Barnes show reunion special. You know what that means – free publicity! And also, JB Fletcher’s name will be on the book, you know, whatevs. Jess is not interested but begrudgingly agrees to visit the studio where rehearsals for the reunion special are underway.

YOU GUYS BARRY BARNES IS DONALD O’CONNOR.

THOSE EYES. ERMAHGHERD THOSE EYES.

THOSE EYES. ERMAHGHERD THOSE EYES.

Barry’s having a bit of a tough time at the moment. The writers hired to work on the new special are more Saturday Night Live than Barry Barnes, and one of the Haley sisters, Lee Haley is about to rage quit after a dancer crashes into her during a rehearsal of one of their songs. Lee’s husband Artie Sommers, head writer for Barry Barnes, assures Barry that she’ll calm down but Barry orders a break anyway.

Jess chooses this moment to sneak in to the theatre to watch rehearsals. Barry sees her sitting in the darkened theatre and freaks out (which is fair enough, JB is a harbinger of death) but relaxes when JB introduces herself. Barry offers her tea while they wait for Artie to come back from consoling Lee, who is currently ordering his wife back to work, and doesn’t seem bothered when Lee points out that they are standing in the dressing room Richie Kane died in. Outside, Art runs into music director Ozzie Gerson who has a bone to pick about the way he’s being treated – just like his father was when his father was music director.

Back on stage, Barry serenades JB with piano playing and tea while he tells her the story of how Artie met Lee on the set of his show, 25 years earlier. Lee hated him on sight, but two weeks later they were married. True love. JB asks him about Richie Kane but all Barry can say is that everyone loved him except his killer. The police investigated everyone but the killer was never found.

Artie reappears and begs Barry to go calm Ozzie down, leaving JB to ask about why Barry was so startled to see a shadowy figure in the theatre but Art has no idea. He introduces Jess to the Haley sisters but they are called away to rehearsal, so Art offers to show Jess the scene of the crime. Despite it all, Jess isn’t sold on the idea of writing the book and tells Scott accordingly.

Later that night, Barry is alone in the theatre with the piano when Art comes to see if he wants to have dinner with him and Lee. They chat about Richie Kane for a bit then Barry spots a figure moving in the shadows – a veiled woman pointing him. Barry shouts, then collapses.

At her hotel JB receives a message and rushes down to the hospital, where she runs into Artie. She asks him what happened and he tells her that Barry suffered a severe shock.

“Well is he okay?” Asks JB.

If I ever end up in hospital, please assume that this is what it will look like

If I ever end up in hospital, please assume that this is what it will look like

d2

Barry throws everybody out and comes clean to JB. He saw the woman in black, the same woman he saw the night after Richie Kane’s murder, pointing at him like he was to blame for what happened. He wants JB to find the woman in black and get to the bottom of who killed Richie. Jess tries to beg off, saying he needs a proper detective and Barry gives her the phone number of the officer who investigated back in ’65 – Broadway Bulldog Kowalski.

Jess pays a visit on old Bulldog, who has kept all of the case notes regarding the murder but has just recently loaded all of the files onto his fancy new computer.

Sidenote: The best thing about rewatching The X-Files, apart from all the other best things, is the size of the monitors and the size of the mobile phones.

Sidenote: The best thing about rewatching The X-Files, apart from all the other best things, is the size of the monitors and the size of the mobile phones.

Bulldog tells her that at the time of the murder, Barry was on stage in front of 50 people rehearsing a sketch, which puzzles JB. Why would the woman in black be accusing Barry of the murder if there’s no way he did it? Bulldog assumes she’s just out to scare comedians and instead turns to the women involved in the story – the Haley sisters and Richie’s wife Sharon. According to Bulldog, she was at the theatre the night of the murder but left 20 minutes before the murder occurred, although Bulldog concedes she could have slipped back in. Jess asks him if he knows where she is now and Bulldog asks if she wants to meet her.

 

 

Sometimes making myself laugh is all that matters.

Sometimes making myself laugh is all that matters.

Bulldog and Jess find Sharon Kane about to go and pick up her grandson. Bulldog introduces JB and says she wants to know about the woman in black, since she’s made another reappearance. Sharon tells her she’s not the avenging angel type. She knows she can’t tell JB what to do, but she wishes JB would let Richie Kane remain a man his family can be proud of.

Nothing gets past Our Heroine.

Nothing gets past Our Heroine.

JB remarks on Sharon’s choice of words to Bulldog, who confirms what JB was beginning to suspect. Richie Kane wasn’t the cleancut family man everyone made him out to be. And he liked them young.

Ew.

Back at the studio the Haley Sisters are rehearsing another number while the show’s writers Sid Lyman and Joe Roth demand to know why their sketch has been cut from the show. Bulldog and Jess run into Artie while he’s being harrassed by Sid and Jo, but tells them to go and sit down out the front. The Haley sisters finish up, but Cathy is called back to change into another costume for a sketch. The next act, some plate spinners, come out to rehearse while Cathy goes back stage to try and get out of being in the sketch. There are screams from backstage, Bulldog goes to investigate and finds Art dead in a chair, after having a vase smashed over his head.

The police roll in, in the form of Lieutenant Mayerling, who appears to suspect everyone individually and collectively – the Haley sisters, Ozzie, the lot of them. He’s not pleased to see Bulldog at the crime scene, and even less pleased when Jess sweetly points out that the two writers Art had been arguing with hadn’t been seen since the murder. Sid and Joe are tracked down but swear they only found out about the murder after they’d left the theatre. While Mayerling goes off to interrogate them further, Barry asks Jess to calm Cathy Haley down.

Out in the park, Cathy tells Jess she just wants to get home to her kids. They heard about it on the news and are naturally devastated – he had no children of his own but he was a great uncle to his nieces and nephew, according to Cathy. Cathy is emotional and says she’s not like her sister Lee, who didn’t even break down when their parents died in 1964. JB asks her about Richie Kane and she tells her he was a creep.

Back in Bulldog’s kennel, JB gets him to pull up the photo of the Kane family he was showing her earlier. They identify the mother and father, and each of the Haley sisters, but then hit a snag. Cathy didn’t start having children until 1974, and if this picture was taken before their parents died, then who is the baby in the picture? After careful consideration of nappy and bottle holding, they suspect it might be Marge’s. As Bulldog said, Richie liked them young.

Ew.

Bulldog is onto it, and shows JB an admissions form from 1974, the year the Haley sisters retired, showing Marge being admitted into a psychiatric hospital.

(Just trust me on this one guys. I’m getting confused too).

When confronted with the photo, Marge admits that she had a baby with Richie Kane. They had been sneaking around even before they were on the Barry Barnes show – she was already pregnant by the time the show came around. When Richie found out he was going to have the sisters bumped from the show, Marge panicked, picked up the knife and stabbed him.

Seems definitive.

Seems definitive.

JB gently points out she’s leaving something out and Marge agrees. Art was there, and saw the whole thing. Lee appears and tells Jess that they will deny everything Marge says, and it will be them against JB.

“And me,” says Bulldog appearing from the next room. Lee refuses to listen, saying that she won’t let them put her sister on trial, but Bulldog seems to think it won’t come to that. He produces the admissions form from the psych hospital and says that it’s clear that Marge had a history of mental illness. When she was released in 1984, with the diagnosis ‘no further treatment required’ – now that’s another story. She could tell right from wrong. So there’s no getting away from Art’s murder.

Actually there is. She didn’t do that one.

Oh dear.

Oh dear.

When Lee tried to put the show off, after seeing Marge suffering, Art threatened to expose Marge as the killer and so Lee lashed out.

Afterwards, when JB and Barry are debriefing, it’s revealed that Barry’s show has been cancelled. He’s looking to the future though, a future where TV isn’t just on the tube. The actors will be in the room with you.

j2

Now I know that Gene Kelly was a genius and could tapdance on rollerskates, but according to YouTube Donald O’Connor did it first but more than that, he did this:

Long live the king.

Later gang!

Later gang!

Older Entries

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 76 other followers