S05E08 – Prediction Murder


Fletcherfans, remember that time last week Lee Goddard took Jess back to his ranch to hear the sales pitch of a life time? Well, it’s happening, and as you can see it’s going well.

Yep. Nope.

Yep. Nope.

Although,his house is working in his favour as far as I’m concerned.

*starts shouting the theme from Game of Thrones*

*starts shouting the theme from Game of Thrones*

Inside House Goddard JB meets ranch worker Greta Olsen, who is about to return to Sweden to renew her work visa, Lee’s son Dell, who is delighted to see JB, and Dell’s wife Jill, who floats across the room, impressed with Jess’s aura that says Jess must be at peace with the universe.


Heh heh heh

Heh heh heh

“I don’t know about the universe, but Cabot Cove has been very quiet lately.” Says JB. (read: noone’s been murdered).

Lee introduces JB but Jill already knows, saying Jess is just as Lee described her – strong, but delicate, intelligent and emotional.



Seeing Lee’s face Jill says “Did I say something I shouldn’t have?”

Damn hippie

Damn hippie

The clock chimes and Jillian decides that if she doesn’t rush to meditate on her ectoplasmic spirit, she’ll be out of sorts for the rest of the day.

And by ectoplasmic spirit I can only assume she means

The only ectoplasmic spirit worth meditating on (source)

That night, a party is held at the ranch to celebrate Slimer transit of Venus things, and Jess meets Del’s friend Katherine Aaron who explains star signs to her.

This might be my new favourite thing.

This might be my new favourite thing.

Katherine’s husband Ben has no time for such business either (apparently he he lost some major clients and is a tad stressed) so he adjourns to the bar. JB is then accosted by Jill, who wants to tell her more about her alpha level of consciousness, but luckily for all concerned they are interrupted by the arrival of a helicopter, delivering the night’s special guest – Francesco the Psychic.

Enter standard creepy dude.

Enter standard creepy dude.

Francesco moves about the room, throwing down predictions like it ain’t no thang, until he gets to Jill. Then, a change. Jill will be happy, then her throat will constrict, but she will be saved by a friend. There’s a carousel, but it will be okay.

We are unamused.

We are unamused.

Then, Francesco gets all worked up. FLAMES! FLAMES AND FIRE!

Don't milk it love.

Don’t milk it love.

Francesco runs outside, closely followed by Del who demands to know what the hell that was about. Francesco tells him he felt fire and death.  Oh whatever.

The next morning, while Jill defends Francesco to Jessica, there is a Dramatic Incident.

You call that over-acting? THIS is over-acting.

You call that over-acting? THIS is over-acting.

Fortunately JB is there to save Jill from the Great Toast Choking Incident (incidentally, pfft, I once choked on a dumpling and had to save myself #badass) which unexpectedly freaks Jill out more – if Francesco was right about this what else was he right about?

After breakfast Jill demands the ranch foreman saddle her horse for a ride, and tells Dell she wants to be alone. Meanwhile, Lee takes Jess on a tour of the ranch, which happens to include a bid for Jess’s affections. Jess is thankfully interrupted by Jill’s horse galloping along the ravine floor – without Jill. Lee and Jess go to investigate and find Jill unconscious on the ground.

When she wakes up, back at the ranch, she immediately says Francesco predicted this too – he saw carousels but he clearly meant horses. Naturally. She demands that Del find Francesco and bring him back to the ranch so she can find out more about the fire but Francesco can’t be found. While Del hunts for him Jill decides to visit  Katherine, and tells Lee she will be back later that evening. Lee  tries to bring up his ‘sales pitch’ with Jess but she gently shoots him down.

Later that night Francesco arrives back at the ranch, having been ‘summoned’ by the voice of Jill insisting she was in danger. They are soon joined by Katherine, who arrives wanting to see how Jill is doing. She’s surprised and alarmed to learn that Jill was supposed to have been at her house all afternoon.

Del, Lee and Roy the foreman go hunting for Jill but there’s no sign of her. Meanwhile, Francesco tells Jess she gives off bad vibrations.

Jess is giving 0 bothers this episode and I love it

Jess is giving zero bothers this episode and I love it

Francesco ducks JB questions, and Del’s punches when he returns demanding answers. Suddenly the phone rings, and Lee puts it on speaker. It’s a disembodied voice with a ransom demand and a clear lack of experience in ransom calls since it says “I repeat, I will say this once and only once.”

It conveniently turns out that the amount the Voice demands – one million dollars – is precisely the amount Lee keeps in his safe in his office. WHO THE HELL DOES THAT? He arranges to collect the money so that Del can take it to the ransom site the next morning. Jess suggests they call the police but they all refuse.

The next morning, the ransom drop appears to go off without a hitch, Jill calls home and says the kidnappers left a car for her and she’ll drive back. Cut to the car driving over a cliff and the local constabulary investigating a smouldering wreck. Lee and Del go to identify the body and return with the news the only things that weren’t burned were the ring and the bracelet Del had given her.

Inside, JB finds Francesco going through Jill’s drawers. The hell? Francesco tells her he was hoping to find something that contained Jill’s aura so that he might communicate with her. Ugh, whatever bro. He tell’s JB he can’t stay for much longer anyway, his wife has them booked on a flight to Hong Kong in a few days. After he leaves Jess looks at the book he was examining (for aura traces) and finds that it’s Jill’s day planner, containing entries like ‘PSYCHIC SEMINAR” and ‘GO TO DENTIST”.

A short time later, Lieutenant Turner has arrived with an update on the situation. Dental records have confirmed the body was Jill’s but he also tells them that it would appear someone tampered with the brakes. He’s heard about the business with the death predictions and and asks to speak to Francesco, but is informed Francesco has already left, and when he asks to speak to Del is told he’s down at the funeral parlour making arrangements.

Jess and Lee take a walk and Jess outlines her suspicions – she thinks the ransom call was actually a recording, which means Francesco could have been involved – or Dell. Meanwhile Turner has caught up with Francesco – or Leonard Steigler as he’s also known – and tells him he’s going down. Francesco tells him he was hired by Del to make those predictions about Jill’s imminent demise

Turner confronts Del who admits that he hired Francesco to convince Jill that her marriage was evil and then she would leave, because Del didn’t have the balls to do it himself. Ugh Del you are such a Grady. Jess asks him about the night of the party, when Del confronted Francesco after his little performance to demand an explanation it was actually because Francesco went off-script and Del confirms it. He runs off, followed by his father, leaving JB to puzzle it out. Turner asks her what’ s up and she says it’s still bothering her that the kidnapper knew about the money in Lee’s safe, or that the ransom site was somewhere well known to Del. She takes him upstairs and shows him Jill’s dayplanner, with the  GO TO DENTIST entry. She tells him she thinks it actually says G.O to dentist, as in Greta Olsen, the maid who allegedly went back to Sweden the day after the party. She tells Turner to release Francesco, she thinks it will clear everything up.

Once released, Francesco is at the airport with his wife when they accost him again. He tells his wife to go on without him but JB asks her to come too. Since it isn’t actually his wife…

Damn hippie!

Damn hippie!

Jess nailed them early on – Jill choking on a piece of toast just after Francesco predicted it was either a coincidence of gargantuan proportions, or they were in on it together. BITCH YOU JUST GOT FLETCHERED.

And on that bombshell…

Later Fletcherfans!

Later Fletcherfans!

PS – Thank you to everyone who’s been commenting on things while I was away. I haven’t had a chance to reply to them yet but I’m always happy to hear you guys are enjoying my regular descents to my alpha level of consciousness, as it will be known henceforth.

S05E07 – The Last Flight Of The Dixie Damsel


Salutations Fletcherfans!

Apologies for the unexpected hiatus but I have returned! (And as a side note to the update I posted on Facebook during the week, Mum found a bamboo purse like Sofia’s in a second hand store but it was $250 dollars I mean what is that.)

But never mind all that now, because we need to talk about this guy:


Fun fact: This is the character Tom Cruise is based on in Top Gun (probably not true)

THAT, Fletcherfans, is Flight Navigator Frank Fletcher (also known as Mr JB Fletcher), recently rescued along with two of his crew after his cargo plane went down in the Alaskan wilderness. Unfortunately the plane and one of the crew, Gagliano, were not found.

Cut to the present, where JB gets a phone call from her friend Bonnie Phelps, wife of Clint Phelps, one of the other crew members, with some astonishing news. The Dixie Damsel has been found and Clint has been asked to go to the Air Force base. JB is stunned, but thinks there’s something Bonnie isn’t telling her. Bonnie confesses that Clint thinks something is up.

Jess heads straight to California, to Crawford Air Base, just to see what’s up and is struck down with a terrible case of nostalgia. Inside, Clint and Bonnie are delighted to see her and they reminisce about the girls living in San Diego while Clint and Frank flew between Korea and Japan during the war. Clint tells JB that Frank would be furious that the plane has turned up, as it would mean that General Havermeyer would finally get the Cadillac he made them transport back to America from Japan all those years ago. They are joined by Major Kevin Cooper who tells JB her presence isn’t required and that he will be back to interrogate Clint once the other crew members have arrived. JB demands answers.

Major Cooper asks JB what Frank told her about the events surrounding the downing of the Dixie Damsel and she tells him what she knows – that  there was a terrible storm, they tried to fly over it and couldn’t and that they bailed when the pilot set the controls to automatic. She also says that she knows Galiano got seperated from the rest of the crew but she wasn’t sure what happened. Cooper thanks her and tells her she’s free to return to Maine and that he will have Frank’s duffel bag sent up to her once it has been retrieved from the plane. Jess is set to argue the point when a rumble of engines signals the arrival of the Dixie Damsel, which despite being stuck in a snow drift for 35 years was still flyable. Convenient.

Jess, Clint and Bonnie go out to watch the plane pull in and are amazed to see Lee Goddard emerge from the plane. Clint asks him what’s going on but before he can reply they see an American flag draped coffin being put into the back of the coroner’s car. It’s Sergeant Gagliano. Clint refuses to believe it, saying Gagliano bailed with the rest of the crew but Lee tells them it was impossible – he’d been shot in the chest and never left the plane.

Clint is furious when Cooper suggests that one of the crew members was responsible for the death of Sergeant Gagliano but Cooper is unmoved.

Not gonna lie, all I know is that this is John Shaft and Bart sang the theme in a karaoke bar in an episode of the Simpsons

Not gonna lie, all I know is that this is John Shaft and Bart sang the theme in a karaoke bar in an episode of the Simpsons

Outside, Jess and Bonnie are talking when Gagliano’s niece Sylvia arrives with her father’s cousin Nicholas Rossi to see Cooper. Jess offers her condolences but Sylvia wants no part of it, in light of the fact that one of them killed her father. Awkward.

Clint and Lee emerge with the news they have to return to the base at 0830 the next morning. Clint is inclined to get the hell out but Jess warns against it. Lee thinks a better idea is to go get some Italian food instead. Meanwhile, Cooper receives Frank Fletcher’s personnel file and asks if the other crewman – Ray Dressler – is coming but his current whereabouts are unknown. He then receives a phone call from General Havermeyer who proclaims he will be arriving at 1000 the next morning to collect his car.

Back at the hotel JB bumps into Sylvia again and tries to mend fences, saying how much she much she loved her father.

“Nope,” says Sylvia, “I hated him for 35 years”

Oh dear

Oh dear

They are joined by Nicholas Rossi, who tells Sylvia it’s cold, and to go back inside. He tells Jess Sylvia is full of grief and doesn’t know what she’s saying.

That night at dinner Jess and Lee are exchanging stories about their late partners when Lee asks Jess if she has anybody


It’s not ANY body it’s THE body and you ain’t touching it #burns #definitelyimpliedifnotactuallysaid


Any moves buddy boy Lee were planning to make are unfortunately stymied with the untimely arrival of Ray Dressler, the other crewman from the Dixie Damsel.

They see me combin', they hatin'...

They see me combin’, they hatin’…

Ray is feeling particularly verbose on this fine evening but unfortunately he loses his audience when he refers to Cooper as the ‘uptight gentleman of the coloured persuasion’.

I dare you to say it to Shaft's face bro.

I dare you to say it to Shaft’s face bro.

Lee tries to warn him off but Ray is drunk and gives zero bothers about life, Gagliano (who was a lazy so-and-so), officers (arrogant) and lie detector tests – they all have to take one in the morning but he’s got nothing to hide.

Back at base the next next morning Clint is first up on the detector test. While he’s in there Bonnie tells JB that Clint said two nights before the doomed flight took off Ray Dressler went AWOL, and was almost replaced but turned up in the nick of time. Nicholas and Sylvia arrive to view the body and get the cold shoulder from Ray Dressler, despite Dressler’s belief he recognises Nicholas.

Finished with Clint, Cooper calls JB into his office, accompanied by Lee Goddard. Inside, he tells her in his mind there is an inescapable conclusion to be drawn from the polygraphs – Frank Fletcher killed Gagliano.

What the hell Shaft!

What the hell Shaft!

Before Jess can Hulk out completely, Cooper is informed that General Havermeyer has arrived and departs. Jess is cool and measured, by which I mean she shouts something about Cooper appointing himself Judge Judy Jury and Executioner.



Jess is convinced that there was another person on the plane, but she doesn’t know how to prove it yet. On rifling through Cooper’s desk, however, (attagirl) she finds a picture of Gagliano’s body and goes straight to Cooper with it. Gagliano isn’t wearing a parachute. Cooper doesn’t want her any where near the hangar but General Havermeyer tells her to go right ahead and look. Inside, she notices that there are airholes drilled into the unlocked trunk of the Chevy, something that is news to Havermeyer. He tells her to investigate away, but later Cooper tells her that she has until Havermeyer departs the next day. If she hasn’t got proof, the case is closed.

After a hard day’s digging around in the archives trying to find out more information about Pete Gagliano JB meets Clint, Bonnie and Lee for dinner. Ray is also at the restaurant so JB decides on a little friendly interrogation which yields nothing more than some racial epithets, a suggestion that Clint was involved and a lot of slurring. Nice. The situation improves slightly when Ray goes outside, gets stabbed and then comes crashing down on a table back in the restaurant. Sucked in.

In the hospital he comes clean about what happened between Clint and Gagliano. Gagliano caught Clint in an afterhours geisha house and was blackmailing him to stay on the crew of the Dixie Damsel, which made no sense to Jess since everyone said Gagliano was lazy and didn’t want to work. She has a sudden idea and goes down to the base to test it out.

Clint and Bonnie arrive to request permission to leave. Cooper tells Clint he is free to take his duffel bag but Clint has no need of it and goes off into the sunset. Nicholas then arrives looking for Gagliano’s duffel bag for Sylvia, who he says wants the bag as a memory of her father.

Jess points out to Cooper that it’s weird someone who doesn’t want to claim the body wants to claim an old bag, and a quick investigation reveals THE BAG IS NOW DIAMONDS.

And that’s not all.

Ah yes. The old diamonds in the soles of the duffels  trick.

Ah yes. The old diamonds in the soles of the duffels trick.

Cousin Nicholas was actually Gagliano’s partner in smuggle-crime, and when the heat got to be too much in Seoul, he got fake papers to get him to Japan, where he hid in the trunk of the car. What happened after that, noone knows. All we do know is that Lee Goddard has just told Jess he’s taking her to Tucson for the weekend to hear the sales pitch of a life time. So for now…

See you next week!

See you next week!