In a big win for continuity, JB has (literally) just got back to her NYC castle from her European trip. Sid, the doorman who isn’t Ahmed carries Our Heroine’s bags into her apartment, but doesn’t want to hear about the trip so much as he wants to tell her how much he and his wife are enjoying the comic strip JB is appearing in.

“What’s this about a comic strip?” Says JB.

“That’s right, you’ve been away!” Says Sid LITERALLY CARRYING HER SUITCASE THROUGH THE DOOR. He shows her that day’s strip, in which Jessica Fox accuses a rat of stealing fish powder from the police station.

Holiday time is over.

Fun fact – Sid was in one of my favourite episodes of The West Wing, Life on Mars. Update your social media accounts accordingly.

Meanwhile, in another part of town, cartoonist Stan Hatter (aka Harvey Fierstein who I know from Independence Day) is hard at work drawing and dodging phone calls from his ex-wives while his assistant Teddy Graves just hangs out, noting that the man who has been loitering across the street from Stan’s office is back at it. The aforementioned man, Jerry Bozell, puts a call in to the man who hired him, Dayton Whiting, to report in on the complete lack of dirt available on Stan Hatter. Dayton, who also happens to be a cartoonist (and we all know the complicated vendettas that cartoonists hold), tells him if he can’t find something make it up. Jerry threatens to quit but Dayton mollifies¬†him with the promise of money on Monday.

JB returns from a successful trip to the supermarket when she is accosted by Lieutenant Peter DiMartini, the aforementioned fish-powder-filching rat from the comic strip. He wants to know why JB has been slandering his name in the press.

I can’t begin to tell you how happy this pic made me.

Jess tells him she has no idea about any of it, but remembers a drug bust a few years earlier where drugs were taken from the evidence locker ¬†– and DiMartini was the main suspect. She tells him to talk to Stan Hatter, she knows nothing. As he leaves, JB asks him if he did steal the drugs but he just walks out. Jess puts in a call to her lawyer, but his secretary tells her he’s already on his way over.

At the headquarters of Empire Feature Syndicate, Dayton is begging for an advance on his royalties from editor Paige Kindle (amazing name), who is disinclined to help as Dayton’s royalties are dropping. They are interrupted by a visit from Stan Hatter, incensed that a counterfeit cartoon has been published under his name. He threatens to walk away from the whole deal until Paige threatens to sue Stan for All Of The Things. He storms out, and Paige wonders whether Teddy could take over the cartoon. Dayton would be happy to help, after all Stan stole the idea from him.

Meanwhile, in yet another part of town, shady financier (aren’t they all though) Roger Melton takes time out from his shady business dealings to read that day’s cartoon – about a shady financier duck that Jessica Fox is accusing of corruption. Roger is incensed and gets straight on the phone to Paige Kindle.

Back at House Fletcher, JB’s defence lawyer Russell Yorke arrives with more bad news – he’s aware of the cartoon and has been contacted by Roger Melton’s lawyers who plan to sue JB, Stan Hatter and Empire Feature Syndicate for All Of The Things. JB is stunned, but Russell says even if she can prove there’s no case to answer the legal fees will rack right up.

Honestly guys, I’m just here to amuse myself, the fact that you all enjoy it is just icing on a delicious delicious cake.

Jess takes matters into her own hands and goes to see Stan Hatter, who is hard at work trying to make deadline on his next cartoon and blaring opera for all to hear. Stan sends Teddy to stop the knocking but JB bursts in demanding answers. Stan assures her he had nothing to do with the DiMartini cartoon, and is horrified when JB pulls the Roger Melton cartoon out of her bag. He had nothing to do with that one either. He shows her the real cartoon, with some horses and a cow with multiple personality disorder.

I’d like to think we are all being punked right now, it’s so much nicer than the alternative.

Stan promises he will get Jessica off the hook – he’ll talk to his lawyers and if need be he’ll write her out of the cartoon. He loves JB, he never meant to complicate her life. NAWWWW.

Back at home, Jess gets another visit from Lieutenant DiMartini. This time he’s received an old-school cutout word blackmail letter demanding 250 thousand dollars to stop the publication of the cartoon that proves he stole the fish powder/drugs. Jess can’t figure out why he has come to her about it until he peels one of the newspaper words back – the newspaper of choice for the blackmailer was the Cabot Cove Gazette, specifically last Tuesday’s paper.

All this and jetlag too, there is nothing she can’t do! #craprhymeSunday

Jess goes back to see Stan, but he swears he had nothing to do with the blackmail either. He tries to show her how the cartoon that was printed differs from the ones he draws but he’s not buying it. Ben Watanabe, the guy who does the lettering on the cartoons swears it’s not his work either. They are interrupted by Paige Kindle who is also furious with JB’s attempts to blackmail.

Paige, Stan and JB pay a visit on Roger Melton who has reached a level of outrage that could only be described as incandescent. Jess has no time for it and tells him to sit down.

Yes I paraphrased the quote. I AM A REBEL.

Jess says assuming that Stan is telling the truth, who else might be behind it? Stan rattles off a long list of names including his five ex-wives, the people he’s skewered in the cartoons, and Dayton Whiting.

Later that night, Ben Watanabe lets himself in to Stan’s office to start work on the newest cartoon when he hears a noise. He goes to investigate, and gets clocked on the head.

The next morning Jessica goes to see Dayton Whiting, who wants to give Jessica some friendly advice – sue Stan Hatter for all he’s worth, that will put an end to her problems. Jerry Bozell appears demanding money, but is shuffled off by Dayton who promises to give him money that afternoon. Jessica refuses to believe that Stan would let his creations be tarnished by something so unsavoury. A fellow cartoonist wanders past and asks if they’d heard about what happened to Ben.

Jess heads down to Stan’s offices where the police, led by Sergeant Martha Redstone, have ruled the case a suicide pending any other evidence. Jess talks her way into the office, and Redstone asks her just what her connection to all this is, bearing in mind she has heard about Jessica’s obsession with death.

(Not entirely inaccurate though let’s be honest)

Jessica points out that the statue on the table has a crack in it, which she doesn’t think was there the previous day. DiMartini pops in after hearing about it on the radio and Redstone starts demanding answers. Jess and Stan dismiss the idea that Ben was the fake cartoonist, killed to stop his cartoons, since the potential murder weapon was already in the office and not brought with the killer. Redstone wonders if the whole thing was staged to look un-premeditated by someone with knowledge, like a disgraced cop. She orders them all not to leave town and departs.

Across town, Dayton Whiting is having a meeting with Roger Melton, to offer his support and services during this difficult time. Dayton tells Roger that he has been conducting an investigation into Stan Hatter, and the investigation is about to pay off big time, and so –

“How much?” Says Roger.

Dayton smiles. “Ten thousand dollars, but it’s”

Roger orders his secretary to cut a cheque for ten grand but tells Dayton he expects results. Dayton goes straight to Jerry’s office and hands over three grand. Jerry asks about the extra week in advance but Dayton shoots him down, saying he doesn’t need Jerry any more.

Down at the precinct DiMartini confronts Redstone about her suspicions about him – she’s faced the wrath of internal affairs before, she should know how it feels. She relents, and tells him to report back on Jessica’s activities…and when they catch the murderer it’s her collar. (Because, it turns out Jess was totes right about the statue being the murder weapon).

DiMartini calls Jessica to let her know about the murder weapon. She’s at the offices of Empire Feature Syndicate trying to work out what the blackmail victims have in common. Paige Kindle wanders in and says they all have the same sleazy secrets in common – which gives Jessica an idea. She and DiMartini pay a visit to Jerry Bozell, who is in the middle of packing to leave town. He tells them that yes he used to have a “Dead File’ of gossip he couldn’t get printed, but that it was stolen. He’s leaving town before someone else works out that he was the source of the slander.

Jess and DiMartini go to see Dayton Whiting again, who denies any knowledge of Jerry’s activities, saying he was paying Jerry for publicity. Unfortunately for Dayton Jerry was recording the whole thing, and so he admits to looking for dirt on Stan but that he was otherwise occupied with a lady friend on the night of the murder. DiMartini thinks they are back to square one, but Jess has the vague inkling of a plan. They go back to Stan’s office and Jess hunts under a pot-plant to find an artists glove. They put it in for testing and report in to Redstone, who isn’t buying it. Ben Watanabe went to a variety of studios to do lettering and no one knew his schedule except Ben. Jess says that’s true but that Ben got a call from one of the artists to say he wasn’t needed that night – leading Jess to think the killer was familiar with Ben’s schedule. Redstone tells them the lab report came back and the blood they found was Ben’s. Jess says that’s fine, and leaves a message for Stan.

Not so much for Stan, more for the killer.

I can’t even tell if I saw this coming to be honest.

Teddy-boy was hired by Dayton to create counterfeit cartoons with the gossip in them, and when Ben came into the office off-schedule, he freaked and clocked him with the statue. He threw Ben off the balcony to make it look like suicide.

Case closed. On another note, sending all the love in the world to the UK today. Don’t let those hate-filled bastards win.

Later gang.

Advertisements