Back in the Cove this week Fletcherfans, where the Regional Something Something bowling tournament is getting down to the wire. (Side note, Richmond finished top of the table and are playing Friday night for a spot in the Grand Final, what a time to be alive). Not only does Al Wallace let the side down, but the whole thing takes place the same night Seth takes JB and her visiting friend Imogene Shaughnessy to try what is apparently the best corned beef in town. Of course, it’s in a bowling alley, not a restaurant. Makes total sense. Seth apologises profusely, but Jess and Imogene aren’t bothered. Turns out Imogene is a former Cabot Cover, moving back from New York.

 

Resident arsehole and fellow team member Sam Bryce informs Al that he bowls like a girl (nice one, dipshit) and proceeds to pick a fight with everyone. Al tells Seth, JB and Imogene that he was the reason why the team lost, he lost concentration. Seth later explains that Al’s pharmacy burnt down two weeks prior, he’s got a bit on his mind.

Harvey Hoffman wanders in with his date Terry Deauville and is tripped by Sam because I can’t stress this enough, Sam is an arsehole.

I mean how could you say no to that?

The next day JB and Seth are out for a stroll discussing the upcoming Fine Arts Dinner Club and their decision to bump Seth from opening the evening. Jess points out he’s done it for the last five years and perhaps it’s someone else’s turn but Seth won’t have a bar of it. He’s written an ODE TO LITERATURE and to demonstrate how good it is, he’s going to let JB read it. They wander past Sam Bryce’s barber shop and Seth quickly makes excuses to Sam about why he can’t have a haircut just now.

Later on that day, Jess accompanies Imogene to see a potential home, which turns out to be Terry Deauville’s mother’s home. Terry is teaching maths and science at Cabot Cove High and has just taken over domestic science, which is apparently the class dedicated to running your own home, a curriculum Terry is basing on her experiences renovating her mother’s house.

A GOOD DETECTIVE IS ALWAYS ON THE DETECT FOR DETECTIONS.

Terry has had about enough and is thinking of moving to New York to look for some eligible men. Jess tells her if she gets serious about the idea to let her know, she might be able to help. The phone rings and Terry has an argument on the phone with Sam. Ugh, no wonder she’s moving. Imogene is delighted with the place but seems to cool on it when the neighbour invites herself in for a hello. Imogene seems to hate Medora Finney on sight and spoiler alert, this is never resolved in the episode.

Later that night Terry is working on the house when a knock at the door signals the arrival of Sam Bryce, who muscles in and declares nothing is over until he says it’s over. Apparently, Sam got jealous when he saw Terry with Harvey. They fight and Terry throws him out. Medora spies from outside and takes notes in her notebook. Sam skulks off home and has a run in with his daughter Gloria, who is dating Sam’s bowling teammate Ollie Rudman. Sam won’t let her marry him, and after Ollie leaves, reminds his daughter that he didn’t send her to no fancy computer school just so she could marry a deadbeat. She tells him that he stinks of booze and has lipstick all over him, what prince charming would want to marry into that family? She storms into the house, past her weeping mother.

The next day…

THESE TWO.

…Jess tells Seth she loves his poem and he celebrates by ordering extra lobster. They spot Sam ordering some dude named Ron to return his saw, which he does. Ron tells Sam he’ll see him at the game that night, but Sam says no you won’t. Seth tells JB that Ron’s workshop got broken into the previous night but that nothing was taken. I have no idea what I’m supposed to think about any of this.

That night there’s a poker game with Al, Ron, Ollie, Harvey and Mort Metzger and without Sam there it turns into a bitchfest. Mort wisely stays out of it. Ron gets a call from the man himself, who can’t the saw to work but Ron tells him it works fine and to try another plug, and hangs up. Sam plugs it in, turns it on and is electrocuted.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

To be fair it even looks like it wants to kill you.

Mort thinks it’s all a bit suss – Sam was an arsehole but he knew not to stand in water when using electrical equipment, or to use it with both hands. Jess thinks Mort should follow his instincts, as she goes through Sam’s cupboards and finds a burnt old beaker. Seth tells Jess to hurry up, he has patients to see.

Time passes. The day of Sam’s funeral rolls around and Medora goes to the Sheriff’s office to report a burglary – someone has taken her diary, where she keeps her notes of all the Doings That Happen around Cabot Cove, including Sam Bryce’s murder. Mort doesn’t understand what she’s talking about, so she starts ranting about the Bible and suggesting Terry had something to do with it, I mean she wasn’t even at the funeral. Mort warns her off being so slanderous and Medora departs, sulking about how the Sheriff treats honest, God-fearing citizens. Deputy Andy tells Mort that Terry’s prints were found in Sam’s garage, and the tech team concluded the whole thing happened as a result of deliberate interference.

Seth and JB go for a post-funeral stroll and comment on Medora and her cronies gossiping about  Terry’s affair with Sam. They run into Al, who is clearing out his burned-out pharmacy. Over at Sam’s, Ollie is tending to the newly bereaved mother and daughter and is a little surprised to find them grinning with delight as they burn photos of Sam.

I mean that’s fair.

Demonic daughter is demonic.

Mort drags Terry down to the office for an interview – she let them search her apartment and they found Medora’s notebook.

“Sheriff why would Terry risk jail over stealing a notebook?” Says JB.

“Don’t you have an appointment or something?” Says Mort.

Mort seems to be confused as to who is in charge here.

Apparently, Mort’s men also found a diagram about how not to wire a power point. Terry says no duh, it’s for her domestic science class. Mort tells Andy to drive Terry back to her car.

That night the bowling team send a drunken farewell to Sam, the guy they never liked or wanted to be around. Ollie has the decency to look uncomfortable about the whole thing but the rest of them are basically good riddance. Ron asks Al about a 25K payment and a condo deal Al and Sam were cooking up and Al wants to know how Ron knows about it. Ron says Sam’s family are going to notice the money Sam took is missing sooner or later.

Back at House Fletcher Imogene is getting increasingly worried – she was supposed to hear from Terry to confirm the sale of the house, but she can’t get through on the phone. Jess suggests they head on over there, but when they do they find the phone off the hook and Terry hanging from the landing.

Mort and Seth roll up, and it seems to be a cut and dried case, but Imogene finds the contract confirming the sale of the house to her and Jess hands it to Mort as clear evidence of Terry’s state of mind before she died.

The next morning there’s a terribly written scene with Ollie and the Bryces that frankly no one needs to dwell on, while JB tries to explain to Mort that it seems highly unlikely that someone would get dressed and made up right before killing themselves.

Jess asks if Mort checked Terry’s answering machine and you guys…

LOOK AT HIM HE’S SO PROUD

…there was a message but they couldn’t really understand it.

Mort asks Seth to take Sam’s chair at the poker night which he agrees to but tells Jess they have to get going for a fine arts dinner club meeting. Jess says fine, but she needs help with something first.

All Seth wants to do is recite his poem. Literally, all he wants.

Mort goes on his own investigating and asks Harvey about a delivery he made to Terry’s place that included some sail rope. Harvey doesn’t remember much, he got the order and dropped it off at the house. Mort says the signature doesn’t match the one on the house contract and Harvey says no shit, that says Delivered, not Terry Deauville. Terry wasn’t there.

Over at Terry’s house, Jess proves to Seth that Terry couldn’t have hung herself. Seth calls the coroner and confirms that the tell-tale signs weren’t there for a hanging. Mort accepts he was wrong and shows Jess Medora’s notebook, filled with bible quotes and reports of all the Goings On around town, including the night of the fire of the pharmacy. Medora arrives and is furious that her private ramblings have been shared around. Oh, shut up Medora. Andy pops up to tell Mort the phone company identified the calls that came into Terry’s house the night she died – one was from a phone box outside the library. The other came from a local bar and more than that the bartender remembers Ron Friendly being on the phone about that time. Mort and Andy confront him about it and he admits to going around to Terry’s to bust some moves on her but no one was home when he got there.

Down by the water, Seth shows off some purchases and Jess has an idea. This episode really ain’t great you guys.

A trap is set at the poker game, and a short time later…

Literally everyone in this episode was sketchy, I feel nothing about this.

Apparently, Sam found out Al set fire to the pharmacy and blackmailed him about it. Also something about the 25K condo that I’m a little hazy on. Terry had to die because Al loved her but she picked Sam. Hashtag not all men.

I still don’t understand why Imogene hated Medora on sight (not that she was wrong). Also, Seth resigns from the Fine Arts Dinner but takes it back when Mort threatens to read his poem. The usual.

Anyway, no blog next week, but I’ll be back the week after, hopefully full of news of how Richmond are back-to-back premiers and how I intend to ruin lives with this fact.

Later gang!