Back in New York Fletcherfans, and sadly back in the frosty Melbourne winter, Cairns does winter properly and is 25 degrees basically every day and is terribly civilized.

Anyway, while some sort of bank robber named Roy Phipps gets lie detected by a cop, JB is hosting a meeting of the Museum nomination committee, where they are debating who suggest putting on the board. Gwen Noble wants to go after the money and calls for a vote but JB suggests a prominent female archaeologist.

Gwen does not like having her authority challenged.

It’s a sass-off. It’s a sass-off.

Business concluded, the committee breaks up. Gwen notices Jess’s bracelet is broken and tells her to bring it to the store to be fixed. She gets a page to call her plumber, who is revealed to be the aforementioned bank robber dude Roy Phipps and clearly up to something other than pipe cleaning. Meanwhile, Mike from Twin Peaks arrives to fix JB’s cable.

Over at Gwen’s store, head jeweller Augie Grumbacher explains his job to receptionist Darlene Farber while a singing telegram turns up to congratulate Barry Noble on winning Jeweller of the Year. (Sidenote, to this day the singing telegram remains my favourite part of Clue). While she busts her funky lyrics, the singing telegram also covertly takes photos of Barry’s safe. Gwen arrives just in time and gives her husband a kiss, much to the chagrin of Darlene Farber. It’s all happening at the store you guys.

The singing telegram, whose name it turns out is Kitty Colfax, goes to get her safe photos developed and bumps into old flame and recent parolee Leo Kositchek. Leo’s been looking for his old partner Roy who was meant to be holding money for him but apparently, the money wasn’t there, and there’s no work to be had either. Leo tells Kitty to drop by his new job (selling alarm systems #lol) and see him some time.

Coincidentally enough, Kitty’s mother Leah is also JB’s favourite supermarket worker.

True enough.

Kitty is borrowing her mother’s apartment to host an AA meeting – she’s been in AA for six months. Somehow I think part of this statement is not true. Kitty wanders off, Jessica pays for her goodies and as she leaves, bumps into Lieutenant Giordano who actually wants to talk to Leah about the last time she saw her daughter. Leah tells him not for a while, and to get his hands off her peaches. Not code.

Kitty goes into the apartment building to prepare for the meeting, eagerly observed by Leo. He follows her inside and breaks into a room where the cable TV links all are. He pops a videotape in to record and scarpers out – just as the building super, Mike from Twin Peaks arrives (his name in his is Rob McKenzie apparently) to steal some cable for his girlfriend Susan for her birthday.

YOU GUYS THIS IS ALL GOING DOWN IN JB’S BUILDING WHAT WERE THE ODDS OF THAT.

Rob goes to demonstrate his gift for Susan, who is worried he’s going to get busted, but can’t wait to watch some cable once her nursing exams finish. Rob flicks through the channels to demonstrate his gift:

Classic mid 90s technology plotline. #hackthemainframe

Down at Kitty’s, Roy arrives with a couple of six packs, all set to discuss the heist. Kitty tells him about bumping into Leo and wishes they could have included him in their plans. Roy loses it, slams his beer down on the table and tells her to forget Leo, she’s his girl now. Leo’s old news.

Leo, unaware of this fact, continues his stakeout of the apartment.

That night, everyone gathers in Susan’s apartment to celebrate her birthday. Rob shows off the cable to JB, and they spend some time watching the ‘heist’ movie that is apparently on TV.

It’s not very well directed, says JB.

#ThingsI’veSaidWatchingThisShow

Through a series of AMAZING EVENTS, JB manages not to spot Kitty on the live feed. Susan summons them all to dinner and the tv is switched off.

Later that night, Kitty and Roy hide the evidence of their meeting and wander off into the night. Their co-conspirators leave too – one crosses the road and is immediately run down by Leo in his car.

Down at the jewellery store the next day Jess takes her bracelet in to be fixed. Augie shows off what he’s been working on – a big fat diamond from Sierra Leone. Gwen takes a call from Zurich for Augie, but he tells whoever is on the phone that he’ll call them back. They go to see Barry but he comes bursting out of his office with Darlene, giggling like a schoolboy.

Jesus Barry.

Gwen tells JB she’ll catch up with her later to discuss museum things. Barry returns JB’s bracelet, nicely restored and she goes on her way. Gwen puts a call in to Roy and tells him they need to meet in an hour in the usual place.

Roy has a coffee with Leo, pays him back for the last job Leo took the fall for and offers him in on his new scheme now that his tech guy is in the hospital after a hit and run. Leo is interested, but won’t do it for less than 50-50 of Roy’s cut. Kitty goes to get her mum’s key for the apartment, saying she’s meeting with her sponsor. Leah confides in JB that she’s worried Kitty is drinking again. JB pops around to Susan’s for another look at this mysterious TV show but when they turn it on the room is empty. Susan tells JB that one of the actors was brought into ICU after a hit and run, and the guy who played the boss came to see him that morning.

JB thinks the whole thing is suss and goes to see Lieutenant Giordano who thinks she’s stark raving until she spots Roy Phips photo on his desk. Back in the cable room Leo finds the cable splitter sending the feed up to Susan’s apartment. JB calls Susan who tells her the show is still running and a new character has just been shot (spoiler alert, it’s Gwen Noble). Jess tells her it’s not a real show and that police are on their way. Just then, there’s a knock at the door. Susan assumes it’s the police and goes to answer it. It’s Leo, ordering her to come with him.

Rob is contrite that he was bootlegging the cable TV from downstairs (blessed were the days before torrenting) but confirms someone had tampered with the cable. He thinks the source is 3E, and Jessica has a pretty good idea who will answer the door in 3E.

I’m assuming she thinks it will be Kitty, but it’s Leah.

Side note:

I am notoriously bad at noticing this stuff, so well done me.

Leah has only just arrived and knows nothing. She and Jessica spot stains on the floor that look suspiciously blood-like but might be olive oil, but there’s no body. Rob finds the camera and Lieutenant Giordano tells him not to touch it. There’s no sign of Kitty or Susan.

That night, with Susan in the back of the car, Kitty and Roy head to the jewellery store, each thinking the other killed Gwen. Down at the Noble jewellery store, Barry and Augie are just packing up for the night when Jessica calls looking for Gwen. Barry figures she’s just stuck in traffic but is on her way. He departs with Darlene, Augie and the security guard head their separate ways.

As Barry’s car rolls out, Roy tells Leo to get to work. He hacks the alarm and they head inside with Roy’s sidekick Axel Dorsey. Meanwhile, Jessica calls the lieutenant for an update but there’s not much to tell – they’ve identified who’s involved but not where they are breaking in. Jess suddenly has an idea about that, and about the blood they found on the carpet.

Down at the jewellery store things are taking longer than anticipated. Kitty freaks out and releases Susan. Roy and Axel finally crack the safe open when the lights come on and they hear guns being cocked. Lieutenant Giordano thanks Jessica for noticing the jewellery store logo on the TV feed and arrests them all. Susan rushes in to tell JB that Kitty freed her but they were going to kill her.

The next day Lieutenant Giordano calls JB to tell her it’s neatly tied up but JB’s not so sure and heads to the precinct to explain why.

Turns out…

Surprise!

Augie the diamond cutter was in on on the robbery and decided to double cross them all. When Gwen found out (via that call he got at the store) she threatened to expose him so he killed her. Jess worked it out because Augie used olive oil on his machines, and he had it on his shoes when he killed Gwen apparently.

And so, Jess goes on into the day, still with broken cable. Shoutout to my fellow Australians – as the saying goes, another prime minister ousted, check your smoke detectors. Sigh.

Later Fletcherfans!

 

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