JB is at mission control this week Fletcherfans, where she’s researching her newest book about a space detective solving international crimes wait why isn’t that an actual thing?

Jessica is getting all the deets of the Apollo missions from Juan Ramez when a call comes in from Sam Mercer, making sure that JB is getting the full NASA experience and also to let Juan know that his computers are ready to be shipped. Guys, I’m not going to lie, I am hungover as all hell. Also the cat has deleted this like twice now, I feel like the universe is trying to tell me something.

Anyway, the computers are being shipped by Wayne Platte, the newly widowed husband of one of JB’s old friends. As he’s making the trip the truck gets hijacked by your nightmares.

That mask is fifty shades of hell no.

Meanwhile, at Willie’s Roadhouse, there’s a whole lot of Texas going on.

You’re the Good Ol Boys?????

Jess is escorted to her table by the aforementioned Willie to see Wayne’s son Rob perform. After the song, Rob comes down to greet Jess and his waitress girlfriend Cindy but is called away by a phone call about the hijacking. Rob and Jess rush to the scene and find Wayne battered and crotchety. Sheriff Jim Monday is on the case, but wonders why the hijackers targeted a truck in broad daylight on a main highway.

Also, the Sheriff is Hitchcock from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

God I knew he looked familiar.

Wayne explains he was hauling computers to NASA from Sam Mercer’s computer factory so they head on over there, where Sam Mercer is being played by Gary Lockwood from 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Also sprach Zathafletcher.

Sam does not blame Wayne, but he’s worried. The NASA project is already behind, and if he can’t come through on the computers his company is in big trouble. He knows Wayne’s struggling too. Rob swears he never said a word, and wants to make sure that Plat Trucks can move the next shipment but Wayne declares he won’t accept handouts and he won’t ask for any either.

At home, Sheriff Monday wants to make sure Wayne doesn’t want to change his statement – he knows Wayne had his truck insured and would get a brand new one if it was stolen. Wayne is outraged. Later, Wayne confesses to JB that he’s in struggle town with the business. Jess asks what about Rob, but Rob is busy being a country and western star.

Meanwhile, the head hijacker is reporting to his boss – Willie from the roadhouse. She’s furious that they attacked Wayne and the hijacker – Randy Jinks – needs some help. Randy says he won’t work with anyone he can’t trust, and assumes Willie would not want him mentioning her name if he got arrested. She tells him she can make his life very uncomfortable in jail.

Randy vents his frustrations on his ex-wife Cindy, who isn’t having a bar of it. When it gets physical Rob steps in and the brawl only breaks up when Willie poor water on the both of them. Rob storms out to his truck, closely followed by Cindy, and it is revealed that Wayne doesn’t know about Rob’s relationship with Cindy the single mother.

In my defence, it’s not my fault the bartender was giving me jugs of cider instead of pints. Or that the Australia v France game was really close. I mean probably I didn’t need to drink the entire jug but whatever it’s fine.

Down at Platte Trucking HQ Wayne’s in a foul mood and his financial woes are going from bad to worse. Rob offers to ride shotgun to mitigate against insurance company cancelling their cover but Wayne spits it and storms into his office. Meg Thomas the office manager is worried about him.

Randy takes the computers to the local reseller who is impressed to see the Mercer towers, what with their 500 megabytes of ram and 10 gigaflops per second. They’re worth 19 grand on the street but the store owner knows full well they are stolen and won’t give randy more than 2900 each.

Out on the main street, Willie runs into Meg and reminds her that payment is due. Meg says she’ll get the money Friday and Willie tells her not to forget the late charge – it’s not her fault Wayne couldn’t pay Meg just as it wasn’t her fault Meg nabbed 20 grand from the trucking company. A smug Willie goes about her business, as a stranger gets off a bus and stares after her.

I don’t think we’re ready for this jelly.

Mr Moustache, aka Lance Taggart, pops round to see Willie at the roadhouse who isn’t enthused to see him and tells him to jog on.

Jess goes to see Monday and tells him that Juan confirmed the computers weren’t valuable to anyone outside NASA. Monday thinks this confirms his theory that Wayne staged the hijacking to collect on the insurance but JB ain’t buying it.

Rob decides the best way to tell his Dad about Cindy is if she’s his fiancee, so he ducks round and proposes. Jess asks Meg if Wayne had any enemies that might want him out of the way, or if he’d borrowed money from the wrong people. Meg baulks at the second question and says it might be possible. Jess spots a foam piece in the shape of a computer tower in the back of a truck and asks who it belongs to but Meg doesn’t know.

Back at the roadhouse, Randy ‘Hi’ Jinks thinks he’s a really clever boy. He tells Willie he couldn’t offload the TV’s they had so he’ll try and fence them in Houston. Also, hey this is Lance Taggart maybe he can help us. Willie orders him out and Lance tells her Randy took the TV’s for himself, she needs his help and all it will cost is 10% cut, 5% if he gets her too.

Ten per cent it is, says Willie.

That face! That hair!

Rob finally breaks the news to Wayne, who thinks it’s outrageous that his son is hooking up with a woman who cut and ran when things got tough (read: she got beat up). Rob hurls his keys at Wayne and tells him see ya never. Later, Wayne goes down to the roadhouse and offers Cindy money to back off. Good guy, Wayne. Willie thinks this is exactly the right time to hit on Wayne but he won’t have a bar of it.

Jess goes to see Wayne at Platte HQ to tell him about her theory regarding the hijacking but Wayne has an accident and is rushed off to hospital. Later that night he tells Meg to cancel the runs, he’s closing the business. Rob appears and tells him not to worry, he’ll do the run instead. Jess gets ready for bed and sees Wayne go out into the night.

Down at the roadhouse, Randy gets a call and agrees to get on to it. It turns out to be getting run over by the truck (and shout out to the mannequin they used to perform the stunt may it rest in pieces).

Jess is down at the Sheriff’s office learning that the truck she saw belonged to Randy Jinks when word gets out about the hit and run. They head down to the crime scene where Jess spots some blood and a TV repair receipt in Randy’s truck and Monday’s deputy finds part of a Platte logo on the road. They head over to Platte HQ where Rob declares he has nothing to hide and agrees to head down to the Sheriff’s office. Jess confronts Wayne about seeing him leave and he tells her he went to see his wife’s grave. Sam Mercer pops up and offers to pay for a lawyer but Wayne doesn’t accept charity but he will accept a lift into town.

Lance confronts Willie about the murder, and they accuse each other of killing Randy. Willie decides this means they are both in the clear. Lance still thinks it’s time he bails but Willie offers 15% (including her).

Jess takes herself down to the video/computer repair shop and tricks the smart repair guy into confessing that Randy was trying to sell him the NASA computers but they were faulty and worthless, even less than what Jess was told they were worth.

I won’t lie this image is less about the episode and more about my current status

Down at the Sheriff’s office, things are going bad to worse for Rob. The sticker places him at the scene, the tyre tracks place him at the scene, and forensics just pulled blood from the front of the truck. Jess goes to see Willie to get her thoughts on Randy running a hijacking ring but Willie tells her Randy needed help to tie his shoes. Willie is convinced that Rob and Randy were fighting over Cindy so Rob took a side trip on his run to kill Randy.

This gives JB an idea and she goes to Platte HQ to look at the trip logs and sure enough they’ve been messed with. Sheriff Monday is not convinced this gets Rob off the hook and Meg cracks and confesses to stealing the money, which she replaced with a loan from Willie. She also tells them that one time she was making a payment and she heard Randy talking about a warehouse but Willie shushed him. Jess sets up a sting to get Willie to lead them to the warehouse.

But she didn’t kill Randy and neither did Lance.

Let’s be honest the start of 2001 was a better representation of actual 2001 than the space bit

Something something faulty computers rorting NASA this hangover might actually kill me.

Later gang!