Welcome to the mean streets of New York Fletcherfans, where kids are graffitiing the streets and corrupt businessmen are racing pigeons to get their thrills.

Today’s example (out of the many thousands of similar pigeon-graffiti situations happening daily in 90s New York) sees Chris Garcia tagging away on buildings and then arguing with his creepy stepfather Frank Garcia (aka Chakotay from Voyager and this episode of MSW). Frank has a go at his stepson for not being man enough (#toxicmasculinityistoxic) but is called away when it’s revealed that local tagger ‘Choey’ (or Joey, or Shuey, I mean we’ll never know) is targeting Frank’s buildings to spray, and is also Chris. Frank thinks Chris needs to get a job, but Chris has decided to go back to school. To learn creative writing.

Alright, that came out wrong.

JB is delighted to welcome Chris to her class and looks forward to reading his short story. His friend and fellow student Alida Alvarez is stoked Chris is joining the class and super stoked about that week’s assignment – to write about five members of a family who have just discovered that a sixth member has just cheated them out of a fortune. “Can we include a crime?” Asks Alida.

The hell question is that though?

After class, Alida asks if Chris wants to grab a coffee, but Manny Castillo pops up to declare they have band practice and that she needs to go. Alida tells Chris they’ll catch up later. “Much later.” Says Manny.

Later that night there’s an anti-graffiti rally at the Koffee Kafe (owned by the Kardashians), where Alida and Manny’s band ‘Full Moon’ are performing. JB is in attendance with her friend Detective Sergeant Vince Lofton and they are Rocking Out.

Gettin down with the youngins 

And then Manny is unleashed.

You guys Manny is like the coolest.

Chris is also in the audience with his mother and Frank. Maria tells Chris to invite Alida to dinner, but Chris tells her she’s too busy. She says it doesn’t matter but Frank tells her to drop it.

Vince invites JB to dance to the next song, and explains that Alida’s father was his rabbi at the precinct when he first joined. When Alida’s father died Vince wanted to become Alida’s big brother, and Jessica tells him that Alida has mentioned it in her stories – that she feels pressured by this new-found big brother who wants her to go to college.

They are interrupted by Manny doing some crowd work, then inviting Principal Barbara Fisher to the stage. She just wants to mainly thank Frank Garcia for purchasing some infrared cameras that will help catch these damn punks tagging up the joint. Frank acknowledges the applause with a wave, but Jessica notices Vince isn’t clapping.

Barbara then invites cafe owner Mario Fernandez to the stage, where he announces Full Moon will have a two-week gig at the cafe. Manny announces they accept the job, but tells Mario he will need to get a better sound system if they are going to rock the house. And by they I mean he. And by house I mean Keytar.

After the set, Alida gets hit on by Frank in front of Maria and Chris. Chris asks his mother how she puts up with it, and she says ‘He is my husband.” Chris quite rightly storms out. Get it together Maria, geez.

At the buffet, Frank runs into Vince, who tells him to stay away from Alida. Frank tells him she can take care of herself, and Vince tells him if he keeps hitting on her, she won’t need to. Also, there’s good pie.

Later, Jess shares a cab home with Barbara Fisher, who it turns out went to college with JB. She gets dropped off first, and then is hit by a car as she’s crossing the street. The car zooms off but not before JB and a shadowy graffiti painter see the driver is Frank Garcia, and he’s not alone.

Spoiler alert the painter is Chris Garcia.

Down at the precinct Vince is stoked to think he’s finally going to be able to nail Frank Garcia, but there’s a hitch – one of his colleagues has just popped in to say that Frank is saying that his car was stolen and that he was at work with two colleagues at the time of the hit and run. JB is outraged but there’s nothing they can do unless they identify the passenger in the car or get a corroborative witness.

The next day Frank is up on the roof looking at birds (not code), in preparation for a pigeon race he’s having with Mario Fernandez. Chris asks him if he’s heard anything about his car, and Frank has not, nor is he worried. They argue again before Maria appears with breakfast. Chris says he hasn’t got time and jets off.

Back at House Fletcher Alida has popped round for a cup of tea and discovers that JB has submitted one of her short stories to her publisher for a future anthology and it has been accepted. Nothing is bringing Alida down now, except possibly talk of the hit and run. Jess is heading down to amend her statement and offers Alida a ride but she swiftly declines.

At the precinct, Vince returns Frank’s effects to him and also mentions he’s not so sure Frank’s alibi is so reliable. Frank isn’t buying it. He runs into JB as he leaves and tells her no hard feelings, people say things they don’t believe all the time.

FEAR THE FLETCHER

Frank wanders off and Jess signs her amended statement. Vince shows her what they found in the car, and Jess notices a tube of lipstick. Vince tells her they are way ahead of her, it’s not Maria Garcia’s.

Down at Pigeon Racing HQ, which is apparently a thing, a bloke named Joe Mancuso is setting the clocks and getting things ready for Frank and Mario’s race the next day. Frank offers to increase the prizemoney to 10K which Mario accepts. He also offers to buy a couple of birds (again, not code) from Joe, but Joe essentially tells him to bugger off, he’s keeping the birds and giving their offspring to Chris.

Welcome to the cut throat world of pigeon racing.

The next day a huge mural depicting Frank Garcia as the driver involved in the hit and run is discovered on a wall, signed by Choey, Joey or Toey (aka Chris). Jessica notices something and takes one of the polaroids  with her as she rushes away to her office, where she compares the tag to Chris’s story. It’s a match people. Meanwhile over at the Montauk Pigeon Racing Club a pair of pigeons gets released and Mario calls Ben to tell him the time of release.

That night, at the Koffee Kafe

I mean come on.

Manny thanks Mario for the new sound system and asks how the race went. Mario tells him he thinks he won, but hasn’t heard from Frank yet. Barbara’s daughter Tammy tells JB that Barbara is out of the woods and is going to be fine, and that she’s off to the hospital now. Jessica notices that the tube of lipstick Alida is using matches the one found in Frank’s car and after some gentle but devastating questioning, Alida admits she was in the car but that Frank said if she mentioned anything to any one he’d kill her.

Alida and Jess pop round to tell Vince everything before heading over to Chris’s place to talk to him and arrest Frank. Chris admits to painting the graffiti, they go up onto the roof and find Frank’s body. The calvary roll in to investigate but there’s not a lot of clues. The pigeon clock stopped about 6:07pm, and couldn’t be tampered with. Vince tells his colleague to book Chris on graffiti violations and hold him for questioning.

After getting a stern talking to from Vince, Alida meets Tammy and Manny for coffee. Tammy stays long enough to say how glad she is that Frank’s dead before departing to the hospital to see her mother. Manny gives an envelope to Alida, it turns out to be what apparently passes for a publishing contract in this world. Manny asks her if this means she is quitting the band, and she says of course not.

“Go ahead, quit the band. You’re not that hot anyways” says Manny.

Manny is lying through his beautiful 90s hair.

Later, Vince calls JB to tell her they are probably going to book Chris for the murder, much to JB’s frustration. Maria goes to see Jessica at the school to talk to her but is interrupted by Mario Fernandez wanting to give her the 10K that Frank apparently won fair and square in the pigeon race, but Maria tells him she doesn’t want it and to give it to the church. She finally admits to JB that she didn’t get home until 6:45.

Vince is interested to hear this, and that Chris isn’t changing his story. He shows them footage of Chris climbing down from the fire escape shortly after Frank was shot, and Chris announces he wants to confess. After a harrowing adbreak, Jess correctly calls shenanigans on the whole thing and tells Chris there’s no way his mother killed Frank, he doesn’t need to cover for her. Relieved, he tells her the truth – he found Frank dead, scarpered down the fire escape and went for a walk before going home. JB believes him but she needs more proof. Chris asks her to call Joe Mancuso to get him to take care of the pigeons while he’s locked up, so she goes to see him and gets an idea about how the whole thing went down.

I’ll be honest, I have no idea if any of this is even remotely accurate, I’ve been playing air keytar for the last three hours.

Sure he did it.

Something something he owed Frank Garcia money because Frank was a loan shark, something something multiple pigeons shot him in the head something something.

Who cares. I think we know who the real killer is in this episode.

HORNS UP FOR THE ALMIGHTY MANNY

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