Welcome to Season 8 Fletcherfans! And new opening credits! Because there’s change in the air in Cabot Cove! So many exclamation marks!

JB arrives home from a trip to the supermarket to find half of Cabot Cove in her lounge room singing “For She’s A Jolly Good Fellow”

And don't you forget it

And don’t you forget it

The reason for the fiesta is that JB is moving part-time to New York City, to teach a criminology course at Manhattan University and wander around the schools in the area. Sounds legit to me.  Seth (who is back, hooray) is not pleased with the idea that Jess is renting an apartment but Jess says that she’s sick of living in hotels and she can’t just keep landing in on Grady all the time.

“Why not?” Says Seth. “He lands on you whenever it suits him!”

It's been awhile since Grady's even made an appearance. I'm suspicious.

It’s been awhile since Grady’s even made an appearance. I’m suspicious.

While Eve Simpson ponders the amount of attractive men JB will find in New York, one of Jessica’s neighbours, who I have never seen before this episode, asks about her new apartment. Jess tells him it’s small but cosy, and in an area where she feels completely safe.

Cut to police sirens, because duh.

At JB’s new bunker in NYC the former tenants – Mike Freeloaderlander and his secretary/thing on the side Sharon are in the process of moving out. Well, Mike is. Sharon has just found out she’s moving out and she’s not too happy about it either. Before she can complain the painters arrive ready to touch the place up for Our Heroine’s arrival the next day. Mike and Sharon leave, with a promise from Mike that the movers will be along to pick up the stuff and to just paint around it.

Downstairs, Mike offers Sharon twenty bucks for a cab but she tells him he’ll need it more than she will. Mike spots a car parked across the street from the building and runs back inside. Sharon decides to go hang out in a bookstore for awhile which is the first sensible thing she’s said or done all episode. Mike rushes back upstairs, orders the painters to take a coffee break (after being there roughly five minutes), pinches a screwdriver and then disappears into a back room.

Back in the Cove, Seth is registering his many objections to JB moving to New York, to which JB asks him the last time he went to NYC. Seth reminds her of the time he got kidnapped by the mob to save their dying father. “That was Boston.” Says JB.

“What’s the difference?” Says Seth.

JB promises to behave, but Seth has been reading statistics on women who are attacked and it’s horrifying. Bless you Seth. There are a lot of people on Twitter who apparently haven’t managed to work that out yet.

Meanwhile, in JB’s new building’s car park…

He is no more. He has ceased to be. Etc etc. There's really no bad time to quote Monty Python.

He is no more. He has ceased to be. Etc etc. There’s really no bad time to quote Monty Python.

When JB arrives in NYC the next day, her new doorman has some news about the former tenant of her apartment.

***Actual quote,

***Actual quote.

Undeterred by the seriousness of this murderous update, JB heads upstairs to unpack, and gets a visit from the two detectives investigating the case, Jack Boyle (previously seen as cop in about 100 episodes of MSW, by which I mean three) and Kawalsky from Stargate SG1 (insert not a time to lose your head joke here). They have arrived to collect what’s left of Mike Freelander’s personal effects/fanboy over JB’s arrival in the city. Boyle tells her that the kitchen drawers are sticking, and to get onto it right away.

Such service.

Later that day JB gets a visit from Mike Freelander’s wife, who has come to collect Mike’s things, but JB explains that the police already took them and that she should probably go home – it’s clear Mrs Freelander isn’t playing with a full deck of cards. She departs, but not before mentioning how ironic it is that the person who gave Mike so much pleasure is the same person who fired the shots that killed him. JB returns to the task at hand and turns the shower on, but when the shower rod comes crashing down she finds some rolled up invoices for Freelander and Freelander Import/Export inside the rod.

Because she is a top citizen, she goes to report her find to Boyle and Acosta/Kawalsky, and finds them at the aforementioned import/export company having a chat with Mike’s brother Harry and his son Scott. Scott appears to be not that upset over the death of his uncle, as apparently he stole Scott’s promotion but they are all interested to see the invoices that JB found in her shower rod (“You looked there?” Boyle says, aghast and impressed). Each invoice has a piece of jewellery listed that isn’t on the original invoices that Sharon is ordered to retrieve and bring out from the office. Scott tees off on Sharon and Mike being in it together, so JB and the detectives discretely withdraw. While Boyle tries to hail JB a cab he warns her about the perils of being a private detective in New York, but she assures him she has no interest in getting involved.

e2

f2

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN.

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN.

Inside F&F Importers, Harry scolds his son for airing the family dirty laundry in public, and that Scott didn’t get the promotion because he was a “pygmy”, at which point Scott informs his father Sharon has resigned, and where’s the gun Harry has for protection, it isn’t in his drawer.

Meanwhile, at the New York House Fletcher, JB arrives home to find the door open and the apartment torn apart.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Seems a safe bet.

Seems a safe bet.

Speak of the devil…

Naw Seth!

Naw Seth!

Sidenote: Here now are the three stages of being friends with Seth Hazlitt/dealing with problems, according to me.

k1

k2

Here endeth the lesson.

Here endeth the lesson.

Boyle and Acosta arrive on the scene to take a statement regarding the robbery. JB tells them nothing is missing and that she thinks it was related to the other matter.

“What other matter?” Says Seth.

“The murder. The last tenant was shot down in the carpark.” Says Boyle.

I have missed Seth's tantrums.

I have missed Seth’s tantrums.

Later that night, after Seth has helped JB clean up, she asks him whether he’s made reservations at any hotel. He tells her nope, he’s staying right there on the couch and he won’t take no for an answer. The next morning, Seth catches JB trying to sneak out to go sleuthing, but she refuses to have him hold her prisoner and takes off before he can get dressed.

He's a lumberjack and he's okay, he sleeps all night and he works all day.

He’s a lumberjack and he’s okay, he sleeps all night and he works all day.

Seth spots JB’s glasses on the mantle and goes to give them to her but the elevator doors are already closed. While he stands in the hallway in his pyjamas , JB’s neighbour across the hall peers out (who I’ve just realised is Seinfeld’s Mum argh that was killing me I knew I recognised her), sees Seth the lumberjack and slams her door shut with such a ferocity that the door to JB’s apartment slams shut in agreement, locking Seth out.

Pfft. This exact thing happened to me. Except the door slammed shut because the petrol station down the street exploded and I had to sit on the porch in my pyjamas waiting for my housemate while every news crew in Melbourne came to have a look. Not even kidding. There were helicopters. Seth, you got off lightly.

Downstairs, JB gets the good word from Ahmed the doorman and finds out about Mike’s sudden reentry into the building after seeing the car across the street, while Sharon went into the bookstore and either is still there or went out the back way.

Jess returns to the apartment, and Seth sneaks in behind her using his mad skillz.

Classic Seth.

Classic Seth.

But JB has no time to chat – she gets a phone call from Sharon requesting they meet. At the restaurant, Sharon tells JB a vaguely confusing story about how Harry Freelander’s wife went missing, and then he started after Sharon but she hooked up with Mike, and something something go ask Harry whose is the last signature on the invoices.

Back at the apartment Seth decides to make himself useful and fix the miscellaneous broken things around the apartment when he sees Seinfeld’s Mum’s door open again. He pops his head in and asks her if she knows anything about the murder but she informs him that she doesn’t talk to strangers and slams the door in his face (good thing he has keys this time). He shouts out he’ll be across the hall if she changes her mind – his name is Dr Seth Hazlitt.

This reminds me of the time Jon Stewart was on The Nanny.

This for whatever reason reminds me of the time Jon Stewart was on The Nanny.

Back across town, JB decides to take Sharon’s advice and goes to see Harry Freelander. She sees him disappear into the back of the shop and goes round to the delivery entrance to get in. Once inside, she hears shots before a dark figure slams into her as they leg it out of the store. Jess goes in for a closer look and finds the body of Harry on the floor.

Boyle and Acosta are called to the scene and Boyle is pissed that JB has been disobeying his suggestion to stay out of the case. She tells him that since she got broken into she didn’t have a choice and decides she’s going back to her apartment, where she discovers she’s lost her key. Fortunately Seth is in a good mood and so lets her in without comment. He tells her about his interrogation of Seinfeld’s Mum, and that Mike Freelander came upstairs during General Hospital and threw the painters out, and the police arrived during Marcus Welby MD. Please don’t ask me what any of those words mean.

Seth returns to his task of declogging the drain and finds the offending blockage – a 25 carat diamond. JB calls Acosta to alert him to the find, and apparently learns something very interesting, so interesting in fact that she can’t be bothered mentioning it right now.

And because I’ve just decided I’m going to make quesadillas for lunch, and that this has taken me ages to write because I a)can’t get off Twitter and b)have had to rescue pants blown off the clothes line three times now, I’m going to fast forward a little bit.

I did not see this coming.

I did not see this coming.

JB sets up the sting with Acosta to trap Boyle. It would appear that Boyle was sick of having no money and wanted in on the Freelander scam, but when Mike Freelander tried to keep the diamond for himself Boyle shot him.

So there you have it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think my underpants just got blown into the neighbours tree.

On reflection, maybe hanging my washing out when there's 100km winds outside wasn't the best idea.

On reflection, maybe hanging my washing out when there’s 100km winds outside wasn’t the best idea.

Advertisements