Greetings and salutations Fletcherfans! I have returned from my American adventure, where many a crime was solved (not true), and many a rollercoaster was ridden (absolutely true and my word I cackled a lot doing it). However, it is time to put such business aside.

JB is at home, solving the case of the dirty oven when she gets a phone call from her cousin Louise. Her daughter Jill has run off to the magical kingdom of Canada to follow a rodeo around and has taken up with one of the cowboys and would Jess go and bring her home?

There are no words in the English language to accurately describe how much this outfit pleases me

There are no words in the English language to accurately describe how much this outfit pleases me

Needless to say, JB is up to the challenge. Especially once she meets said cowboy.

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Challenge accepted.

Challenge accepted.

That afternoon they all meet for beers and dancing at the bar but the entertainment is cut short by the arrival of the rodeo doctor, Doc Shaeffer, who is drunk out of his gourd and wanting to make the rodeo interesting – $500 bucks to either Jill’s man Marty or his rival Boone if they can stay on the Doc’s bull. A closer inspection of the bull reveals his disposition to be sunny (by which I mean bull sent from Hell), at which point Marty’s strapper Luke fractures his leg trying to get away from it. Luke is kept in the Doc’s trailer overnight for observation, while the Doc also informs Marty that he will be set down for the next day’s showdown due to concussion.

Later that night, Boone is trying to hypnotize the bull (probably not true) when he spots smoke coming out of the Doc’s trailer. Being a good cowboy he kicks the door down and retrieves Luke and the Doc. Alas for the Doc it was too late. The show must go on though, and while the rodeo gets under way the next morning Boone gets a visit from Inspector Roger McCabe, also known as Canadian Tom Selleck.

(Sorry Canada)

(Sorry Canada)

Jess finds Jill, who informs her of the Doc’s demise and the arrival of the Saskatchewan 5-0 who think it was murder. Jill is worried, she can’t find Marty and she’s worried he’s going to get accused of something. Like being foxy.

On the case, JB goes to the Doc’s trailer to investigate and finds Inspector McCabe, who is delighted to meet her. Well that never happens. See how nice Canadians are? He tells her that the fire marshal has confirmed that the fire was deliberately lit, and considering that everyone knew how much the doc suffered with emphysema, it was definitely murder.

Down at the rodeo the bull riding is about to commence and it’s all getting real.

Just chill.

Just chill.

Boone Talbot is up first and doesn’t deliver his usual blistering…ride? Attempt? I’m not going to lie I am a bit out of my area here. He and his wife Carla both look stressed.

JB goes to the hospital to see Luke and bumps into the Doc’s wife Consuela, who admits to being relieved that the Doc is dead. He was a mean man, and Consuela thought that when he worked his previous job as a prison doctor he was on the wrong side of the bars. Meanwhile Luke has recovered from his ordeal and is refusing to get his leg x-rayed again, saying he had better things to do, like help Marty win the title. Inspector McCabe arrives and offers to drive him to the rodeo. On the way, he and JB ask Luke if he remembered anything and he tells them he thinks he heard footsteps and the sound of fancy spurs.  At the rodeo Jill is giving Marty a rubdown (not a metaphor) and begging him to let her go home with him after the season when Luke arrives. He orders her to go and make him a coffee to which she says “Make it yourself” and flounces off. You tell him sister.

JB has a chat to Carla and learns that the rodeo clown, Wally Bryce, had once been a rider under Luke’s management until a rowdy bull and a broken leg set by a drunk Doc Shaeffer put an end to his career. Jess informs the Inspector of this before Jill comes over looking for a friendly ear. Jess tells her to talk to Marty and not to accept an answer she doesn’t like, but it all becomes somewhat irrelevant with the arrival of Marty’s wife and son.

THAT BASTARD.

Sensing tension, Marty takes his wife and son to prepare for the bull riding, which is up next and a tutorial in how to splice together footage of rodeo riding with footage of Hollywood actors riding mechanical bulls. *cough* It all goes pear-shaped when Marty’s bull goes crazy, throws Marty and then attacks Boone when he tries to step in. Jill and JB are called and arrive to see Luke losing it at Marty for pulling out of the competition so that Boone would remain in front and win the prize money.

Still a bastard.

Someone hollers that a long distance phone call for the Doc is on the line, so JB decides to take it. It’s the warden from the prison that the Doc used to work at, returning the call the Doc made to him the previous evening. This gives JB an idea, which is a relief because I’m still coming to terms with the mechanical bull montage.

HOLY CRAP IT'S BARRY GIBB

HOLY CRAP IT’S BARRY GIBB

Apparently when he wasn’t in a Bee Gees tribute band Luke was an escaped prisoner from the jail the Doc used to work at, and in order to prevent the Doc from blabbing, he set the fire. You know, like a normal person.

And with that, Jess and Jill leave Scumbag Marty to it and jet off into the wild blue yonder.

Until next time.

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