JB is in Denver this week gang, visiting her old friend Jayne and her husband Steve, who is a producer on local ‘consumer affairs’ show Bottom Line, hosted by resident douchebag Kenneth Chambers.

Just so we're clear, he's a douchebag.

Just so we’re clear, he’s a douchebag.

Steve isn’t the only one hating his job at the moment. Fellow producers Lynette Bryant (previously seen here) is feeling the wrath of Khan Chambers, his assistant Ryan Munroe is fired for spilling coffee on his chair and failing to fix the TV in Chambers’s office, Joe Rinaldi has found himself a target of one of Kenneth’s special reports and it’s only Jayne and Steve’s friend Robert, the station manager, who seems to be in a good mood.

Douchey McDoucherson is, unsurprisingly, delighted to see JB. And he should be because I have a funny feeling this dude is going to be an ex-douche before too long.

Steve, Rob, Jayne and JB all go out to dinner but Steve is called back in to work. As Rob leaves, he tells JB and Jayne that he can commiserate – he’d been working back on his own every night that week. This is news to Jayne, who had been told by her husband that he’d also been working back every night that week. DA DUM.

Meanwhile, at the station, the janitor has just discovered the body of Kevin Chambers. His reaction is appropriate.

BOW DOWN BEFORE TAKEI, LORD OF MEME.

KNEEL BEFORE TAKEI, LORD OF MEME.

The next morning Jayne and JB head to the studio and discover the place crawling with police and reporters. Inside, police lieutenant and Kenneth Chambers’s “expert witness” Lou Flannagan is holding court, mostly about how his awesomeness is dwarfed by the legacy Chambers has left behind. He informs JB of the time of death, between ten and midnight, and is most interested to learn where Jayne’s husband Steve was at the time. Steve bobs up just at the right time and Flannagan takes him off for questioning. After some sweet talking from Our Heroine, he allows her to sit in on the interview, provided that she clear any final story with him.

Fun fact: the actor playing Lieutenant Flannagan has basically been in every TV show in history. Including ones that haven't even begun filming yet.

Fun fact: the actor playing Lieutenant Flannagan has basically been in every TV show in history. Including ones that haven’t even begun filming yet.

In Steve’s office the lieutenant interrogates him about his alibi for the night before – unfortunately for Steve he had a fight with Chambers, then drove off for a couple of hours to cool down before going home. One of Flannagan’s minions appears with the murder weapon. It was found in the back seat of Steve’s car. Flannagan is quick to put Steve under arrest, despite JB’s protestations of the bleeding obvious.

“Maam, you’re just an observer here.” Says Flannagan.

“Yes. And what I’ve observed is a complete lack of common sense!” Says JB.

Heh heh heh

Heh heh heh

While Jayne and JB hold a war meeting at home to think of people who might want to murder Chambers (everyone) and set Steve up (noone), Lynette the producer has her eyes on the prize – completely revamping the show including its new host, Chambers’s former assistant Clare.

The next morning, Robert thinks they must accept the fact that Steve might have done it but JB shoots that down. He is happy to give her some alternate suspects – Joe Rinaldi, the dodgy toy king, and the aforementioned former assistant Clare. JB goes looking for Clare and finds Lynette in full takeover mode. She tells JB that Steve never even wanted to be producer, so it’s totally okay that she’s jumping into his shoes. In reality Steve wanted to be station manager, but Lord Doucheface gave the job to Robert instead.

JB finds Clare backstage, not entirely happy with the new direction her life has taken. She agrees with JB’s certainty that Steve didn’t kill Chambers, and fills her in on the dodgy toy king Rinaldi. When they go to watch the footage Chambers had compiled, it’s missing.

Ugh. I’m starting to not care. I want to hear more from Lord Takei. Anyway, JB confronts Rinaldi about the missing tapes and he freaks out, saying that he paid Chambers to kill the story the night before. A search of Chamber’s previously-undiscovered-sitting-in-plain-view safe reveals Rinaldi’s tapes and money, along with a few other stories Chambers had been paid to quash.

In a rare moment of non-dickness, Lieutenant Flannagan offers to drive JB home, and they discuss the case. Flannagan is still not convinced that Steve didn’t do it. JB looks at the crime scene photos and notices that Chambers was shot in the back. Flannagan tells her that it’s because (in his opinion) Chambers must have been watching the television behind his desk.

As a side note, here’s Lynette’s vision for the new TV show as hosted by Clare.

Although to be fair, if Matt White had worn this getup while hosting Today Tonight I probably would have actually watched it.

Although to be fair, if Matt White had worn this getup while hosting Today Tonight I probably would have watched it.

Enough of that though, because GOOD NEWS. Lord Takei Bert Tanaka has reappeared, to claim JB’s discarded coffee cup for his collection. Bert collects trash from famous people. Bert has a collection of celebrity trash.

And there it is. I'm giving myself a yellow card. That was truly appalling. I apologise,

And there it is. I’m giving myself a yellow card. That was truly appalling. I apologise.

Bert tells JB that absolutely nothing out of the ordinary happened on his rounds that night. Steve fought with Chambers, which meant that Steve wasn’t in his office for the first night that week so he could clean. Then he did the rounds, emptied the ashtrays and cleared the trash.

WAIT A MINUTE. I seem to recall that Steve wasn’t at work that week. Does this mean Robert’s a liar?

In a word, yes.

Huh.

Huh.

This is what happens when you fall in love with your psychiatrist and then she marries your best friend and you go a bit insane and murder your boss when you mistakenly think it’s your best friend so instead you try and set your best friend up for murder but ultimately fail because JB is ALL KNOWING.

Cool story, needs more Takei.

Live long and prosper, Fletcherfans.

Live long and prosper, Fletcherfans.

 

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