So. Last week’s episode was boring, and I hoped this week’s would be better, but at least Grady wasn’t in it last week.

Guys, I have some bad news.

UUUURRRGGGGGHHHHH.

UUUURRRGGGGGHHHHH.

World’s worst nephew and general failure at life, Grady is in Cabot Cove to look after his aunt Jess, who did her back trying to put up storm windows ahead of the imminent Hurricane Ida. Well, I say ‘look after’ but after a breakfast of tuna omelette and a lunch of tuna surprise, I think the “looking after” bit is more “trying to poison.”

The surprise is that Grady can actually cook. LOL, J/K, Grady can't do anything.

The surprise is that Grady can actually cook. LOL, J/K, Grady can’t do anything.

JB is not enjoying her current situation, and it isn’t helped when Seth turns up to see how she’s doing, to warn her that if she’s not careful she could be flat on her back for another week, and to give her a present – an emergency buzzer connected to a pager in his jacket.  I’m not gonna lie guys, I think this might come up again later. JB begs Seth for food, and he departs to see what he can find.

Later that afternoon, Our Heroine is wide awake and bored. She goes to make a call, but the wires are crossed and instead she can hear two men talking. (Remember when crossed lines happened? Remember when we all called from land lines? REMEMBER ROTARY PHONES!) Anyway, with absolutely nothing better to do JB settles in to listen to the call, and immediately hits paydirt: some guy is demanding more money from some other guy before he’ll whack the old guy! Unfortunately for Jess her eavesdropping is cut short when one of her windows blows open (BECAUSE GRADY IS A TOTAL FREAKING FAILURE AT ALL THE THINGS), and by the time Grady appears to shut the window and listen to the call the phone line has died. Seth returns with food and Jess tells him about the murder plot, and that someone needs to call Amos. Seth and Grady pat her on the head and tell her that they’ll be sure to tell Amos all about it. A stroke of luck sees the phone come back and Jess calls the operator to see if the crossed line can be traced.

Meanwhile, down at the diner, Amos is cheerfully oblivious to any potential problems – like Brian Blessed’s Seafaring Cousin, who saw Amos coming, scarpered out the bathroom window and bolted in his truck. But not before nearly running Grady over, so there’s a plus. Grady tells Amos about JB’s crazy scheme and Amos tells him not to worry, he’ll calm her down.

Literally one second later…

Because telling a person to calm down ALWAYS WORKS.

Because telling a person to calm down ALWAYS WORKS.

Jess tries to explain the plot to Amos, saying that the killer mentioned using a Mach 4.

“He’s going to run him over?” Grady asks, confused.

Fierce JB is Fierce.

Fierce JB is Fierce.

Amos tells Jess he’ll ‘get right on it’ (winks at Seth) but that “As sheriff and as your friend I promise you – no one is getting murdered in Cabot Cove tonight!”

The next morning, news breaks that local millionaire Jebediah Rogers has been shot to death in his home.

I AM THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU.

I AM THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU.

At the crime scene, Seth asks Amos for a humble pie recipe but Amos isn’t sold just yet. It’s clearly a coincidence. He asks the dead guy’s granddaughter Leslie if she heard anything but she tells him she slept through everything, including the storm. Jebediah’s first son Morgan arrives to mourn/look through his father’s desk, and tells Amos he was home alone working when his father was shot.

Back at home, JB tells Grady that she might out of action but she can still think. (I love it, she’s not even pretending to let Amos solve this one). She sends Grady to the crime scene to make a sketch and to report back on any potential shenanigans. You know you’ve hit rock bottom when sending Grady is your best move.

Grady dutifully goes to the crime scene and sketches away, before bumping into Leslie. She remembers him from a fishing trip they both went on six years earlier (WHY? WHY ARE THESE WOMEN IN LOVE WITH GRADY? THIS IS HURTING MY BRAIN). Leslie tells Grady that she thought something might like this would happen, and that her grandfather had been fighting with her uncles to the point where he was going to change his will. She tells him she has something that will help JB but is called away before she can say what it is.

Adam Rogers, another son of Jeb’s wanders in to provide his alibi. He found a nice little cocktail waitress that needed sheltering from the storm *cough hooker cough* and will be more than happy to provide him with an alibi. He takes a look in the same drawer his brother Morgan did, and is equally unhappy to find it empty.

Jess conducts a strategy meeting from the war room (her bed) and tries to convince Amos that the murderer wasn’t a burglar, just as Amos tries to convince JB that none of the family has an alibi strong enough to protect them from a hired killer theory. All three brothers were either alone or with shady witnesses (hooker/wife). JB is focussed on the hired gun theory and wonders about any strangers that might have bobbed up in town. Grady has a sudden brainwave (!) and remembers that time Brian Blessed’s Seafaring Cousin nearly ran him down outside the diner. Amos and JB do some detecting (well, partially true) and they learn that Brian Blessed’s Seafaring Cousin is almost certainly Abel Gorsey, recently released from prison after being caught stealing from Old Man Jebediah.

Adam Rogers wanders in to the Sheriff’s Department with Gordon and his wife Dodi to demand a special investigator be brought in to handle the case, but Amos tells them the case is basically solved. They are stunned to learn that Abel Gorsey is almost certainly the killer.

It’s not long before Amos has his man cornered at a cabin on Red Hill Bluff. He takes his crack squadron of deputies and a megaphone…and finds Gorsey dead on the ground.

Amos is all set to take the rest of the week off and go fishing but Seth throws it all out when he informs them that Gorsey was killed before Jeb Rogers, making him unlikely to be the murderer. Unless he’s a zombie. Which honestly might be true. Back at square one, Amos tells Jess he’ll secretly record each of the Rogers’s talking to see if any of them might be the raspy voice she heard on the phone. She sends Grady off to see what Leslie has been hiding, which turns out to be a journal her grandfather was keeping including details of the changes he was going to make to his will.

Meanwhile, Amos is doing a bit of highly sophisticated and incredibly subtle wire-wearing.

Hour #21: Still not suspected of wearing a wire...

Hour #21: Still not suspected of wearing a wire…

His covert session is cut short, however, by the arrival of Dodi to inform them that the press have arrived.

WE MEET AGAIN, MR BOND (And yes, I know it was Goldfinger not Blofeld who said that, just shush alright?)

WE MEET AGAIN, MR BOND (And yes, I know it was Goldfinger not Blofeld who said that, just shush alright?)

Later that night Amos plays the tape for Jess but she doesn’t recognise any of the voices. It’s not until she hears Gordon on the television, holding the cat, that she realises that his is the voice she heard. Amos promises to call JB the minute Gordon is in custody. Seth drops by with an envelope for Jess from the telephone operator, and Grady offers to help sandbag down at the harbour. Jess tells them all to scoot and is left alone to contemplate her gnawing feeling that something is not quite right. There’s no way Gordon killed Abel, but it just seems too unlikely to be an accident.

When JB reads the phone records she realises that Gordon couldn’t be the killer of either man. She tries to call Amos but someone cuts the phone. Then the power.

(Honestly, at this point I had all of my fingers crossed for the killer to be a certain person. And I was right).

As soon as she started stroking that cat I was all "KILLER!" That's just basic laws of the universe right there,

As soon as she started stroking that cat I was all “KILLER!” That’s just basic laws of the universe right there.

Always suspect the white cat stroker. Seriously guys, this law is CONCRETE.

Later gang!

Later gang!

ETA: So yeah, the necklace Seth gave Jess back at the start totally came in handy when Dodi tried to shoot JB. I forgot to mention that. Honestly I was mostly muttering “No Mr Bond I expect you to die!” and giggling a bit.

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