Fletcherfans! Did you know that there’s treasure in the waters of Cabot Cove?

What’s that you say? Surely I can’t be serious?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Remember that time Leslie Nielsen was on a boat? Now he’s back! As a different man! On a different boat!  David Everett has learned of a sunken wreck off the coast of Cabot Cove and is on his way to retrieve it, mostly so he can pay his loan shark back. While his associates dive away, David wanders down the main street of town and bumps into an old friend with his tongue.

JESS AND DAVID SITTING IN A TREE SOMETHING SOMETHING I-N-G!

JESS AND DAVID SITTING IN A TREE SOMETHING SOMETHING I-N-G!

Seth and Amos do not know how to deal with this new development.

Amos's face....

Amos’s face….

David and Jess go home for pie (not code, unfortunately) and he tells her about his plans to retrieve the treasure. Jess is surprised to hear about the shipwreck, and since she knows everything there is to know about everything Cabot Cove that says something. David shoots off to go and see what his minions on the boat have discovered. Alas, it’s all gone a bit wrong and one of the divers, Bill, hasn’t resurfaced. After his wife Susan pleads with them to go and look for him (despite the assurances from his colleague Alexandra that he has plenty of air) David orders them back in the water. Another diver, Colby, eventually finds him and drags him onto the boat.

Later that night David, Larry, Colby, Bill and Alex go to Jess’s house for dinner while Bill recovers in the hospital and Susan goes home to bed. David tells Jess he has a temporary cash flow problem and asks her to put a word in at the hotel. Instead, she offers to put him her her spare room.

“But won’t people talk?” David asks.

“Good. They think I’m boring.” Says Jess. YEAHHHHHHH.

Alex pours bottle after bottle of champagne down her throat and begins to suspect that the accident might not have been an accident, since the contract stipulates that should any one on the expedition die, all treasure will be distributed between the remaining partners. ERMAHGHERD IT’S A TONTINE!

My what a pink jumpsuit you're wearing...

My what a pink jumpsuit you’re wearing…

After a while the pink jumpsuit ranting becomes too much and Colby decides to take her back to the hotel. On the way she flips out and demands to be let out of the car. Back at home Jess is in bed reading and watches the shadow of David pass by her door and sneaks out of the house. Worst booty call ever.

The next morning, while Seth gets a phone call from his pal Wylie at the hospital discussing the sketchy past of David Everett (jealous much?)  Amos walks in on this:

g1

Poor Amos.

He was fixing her tag, get your mind out of the gutter Amos!

Amos has bad news. Alex’s body has been discovered on Cabot Cove Road, and he needs David to identify the body. (Should be easy with the jumpsuit). While Jess and David go to visit Colby to see what’s up Amos discovers the front headlight on Colby’s car is broken. DUN DUN DUN.

With Colby under arrest David invites Jess onto his boat for a cup of tea (again, not code. Although I must say Leslie Nielsen is quite the silver fox in this episode. Wait, is it weird that I just said that?) Jess asks him how it is that Larry can call him uncle when David has no brothers and sisters. He tells her that it was a ploy to cover up the fact that Larry’s father paid David to let his son go on the diving expedition. Before David can bust a move, Jess deboats with an appointment with Seth and Amos. Seth tells them that Alex was already dead before she was run over by the car, which makes Amos a sad panda.

Meanwhile, back on the boat, Larry arrives and tells David he’s off the project, followed by David’s loan shark who starts making certain requests of an immediate nature. Later that night, when he’s telling Jess all about it and Jess is calling him out on his lie (Larry paid his own way, there is no father, presumably we care) Jess asks him how much he needs to get going again.

“Ten thousand dollars,” he says.

“Maybe we can come to some sort of arrangement.” Says Jess

The next morning David is getting a glass of juice when Seth turns up. He’s not overly excited to see David, especially not in Jess’s kitchen, in a dressing gown.

LADIES

LADIES

Seth is actually there to tell them that Bill is awake and ready for visitors. Jess goes to see him, and while his wife is out of the room he tells her that the tank malfunctioning was no accident. More than that, he thinks it was Larry, trying to get in with Bill’s wife. But he has no idea why he or Colby would want to kill Alex. He also tells Jess that he gave Alex five bucks for a cab and twenty cents for a phone call (hello 1980s prices, how I’ve missed you!) but when Jess checks with Amos Alex only had the five bucks on her when she died. They speculate about who she might have called to come and collect her, since there was no cab.

MYSTERIOUS THINGS ARE MYSTERIOUS.

Back at home and Jess discovers a gun in David’s pocket (insert joke here) and…no. I’m not buying this for a second. You can play all the ominous music you like, he’s too dashing to be the killer, DENIED.

Jess goes for a walk with Seth who is more than eager to drop David in it. JEALOUS MUCH? When Jess protests that David is innocent Seth tells her she is thinking with her funny bone and not with her head. Heh heh heh. Funny bone. Geddit?

Fired up from Seth’s bomb dropping, Jess goes home and confronts David. He admits where he went when he left the house the night of the murder; to see his loan shark and his hired goon to hash out a deal. He swears he had nothing to do with the murder, and Jess believes him. DAMN STRAIGHT. He tells her he’s hitting the road, gives her a kiss and her key back. One of these things triggers a brainwave (I’m assuming it was the kiss).

Oh no, it was the key. Specifically, Alex’s room key. Which had the number of the hotel on it. It would appear that Alex called her killer to come and get her. And by come and get her I mean hit her with a tyre iron and pretend that Colby ran her over.

Who could hatch such a diabolical plot?

Of course it was???

Of course it was???

So erm, yeah. Susan was pissed because her husband wasn’t paying her enough attention and Alex was bagging her out and oh who cares.

See you next week Fletcherfans!

See you next week Fletcherfans!

 

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