Season 3 gang! Who’d have thought I’d actually stick with this? How exciting.

JB is in Washington DC  for the wedding of her grandniece to Chandler Bing:

(How young does she look in this!?)

(How young does she look in this!?)

JB is delighted to see her grandniece Carol (on Frank’s side), but less so to see Carol’s mother Audrey, who is a bimbo, and grandmother Constance, who is a raging bitch. So when Carol tells JB she’s received a leprechaun statue from her dead grandfather JB is quite eager to get out of the house and roadtrip to Arkansas to see just where this leprechaun came from. And who wouldn’t?

Turns out, Neil Fletcher is now Carl Schumann and is alive and well and working as a clown in a travelling circus, which is a definite improvement to being married to Constance. He seems to be living the sweet life, hanging out with the high-wire act Katie McCallum and her son Charlie, and generally being awesome.  Alas, all is not well in the circus, however. Mysterious events of mystery keep happening, and the owner Edgar Carmody is trying to keep the show afloat, while his son Raymond is trying to stop his wife Daniella from talking him into moving to New York and working for her mother (who you may also recognise):

Meanwhile in the big top, Katie the High-wire Girl is feeling a bit romantically inclined towards the roustabout Brad, but chief teamster Hank Sutter is trying to get in on the action, with force if necessary. (His wife is not impressed). When I tell you that he is a Monsterous Douchebag I am understating this quite a lot. Also, you might recognise him too:

You're the Good Old Boys?

You’re the Good Old Boys? (We’re on a mission from God, etc)

Apart from Katie, Hank Sutter The Tossbag has also been getting his claws into the boss’s wife. So naturally, when JB pitches up in to town she has her hands full. Each person she shows Neil’s photo to recognises him but then clams up. Ain’t nobody seen nothin, and so on. Edgar Carmody finally tells her that there’s no one at the circus who looks like that and has Brad escort her off the lot.

(Is anyone else exhausted yet?)

The next morning, JB decides to continue her investigations with the cunning use of monkeys.

This is perfect

This is perfect

Unfortunately the jig is up once she loses the jacket and glasses (and the monkey), but before Edgar can throw her out again, news comes in via Katie McCullum that Hank Sutter has been injured. And by injured I mean trampled to death by elephants.

Aw, we’ll sure miss him, said no one ever.

The 5-0 roll in closely followed by Mayor Adam West Powers, who is quickly discovered to be a) a douchebag and b) an idiot. He quickly puts himself in charge of the investigation and declares he is shutting the circus down. When Edgar tells him that that’s illegal he says “You learn quickly – nothing I do in this town is illegal.”

He is unhappy to learn that Sutter’s death was not in fact an accident, when JB points out the elephants have no blood on their feet. It was murder. (Duh).

The Mayor decides to kick off his interrogations with Our Heroine, since she’s already shown him up once. He asks her what she was doing at the circus and she explains the Mystery of the Leprechaun. Fine, says the mayor, but how do I know you weren’t looking for Hank Sutter?

Because I just told you, says Our Heroine.

Of all the crazy fools Our Heroine has had to deal with, this one is the worst.

Of all the crazy fools Our Heroine has had to deal with, this one is the worst.

The Mayor lets loose but is cut short by a deputy bringing news that Carl Schumann has disappeared. JB tells them that Carl left the night before, before the murder, but this is actually a cunning ruse on the part of Edgar Carmody to get her to back off. The police go hunting and find Neil/Carl about to get the bus out of town.

(This is Jackie Cooper. He was Perry White in the Superman movies, but was also the youngest Best Actor Oscar nominee until Keisha Castle-Hughes. You're welcome, people going to a trivia night)

(This is Jackie Cooper. He was Perry White in the Superman movies, but was also the youngest ever Best Actor Oscar nominee until Keisha Castle-Hughes. You’re welcome, people going to a trivia night)

Once JB learns of Carl/Neil’s arrest she goes to see him in the jail. He comes clean about how he faked his death and is desperate to keep his new life a secret from his wife and daughter (fair enough too I might add). JB is more concerned with the whole murder business, but before they can talk further Mayor Moron arrives and throws her out.

Undeterred by Mayor Moron’s warning to stay out of police business, JB goes to check the circus for more clues and finds the chain securing one of the elephants has been partially cut through. She asks Katie about it but she doesn’t know anything about it. Jessica decides to search Neil/Carl’s trailer to see what the police missed, but instead find the police unearthing the murder weapon. Apparently Neil/Carl told them where it was and confessed to the whole thing.

And there it ends, Fletcherfans. Will the circus survive? Will JB clear her brother in law? Will Monica and Chandler ever have a baby?

Stay tuned!

See you next week!

See you next week!