Apologies for the mid-season break Fletcher-fans. I got a bit caught up hurling abuse at Channel 9’s coverage of the Olympics before my Asia holiday, but I did leave you a present to tide you over. It’s underneath this post, so if you missed it check it out – it’s pretty amazing.

The good news is, JB is on another roadtrip! This week she’s heading on down to New Orleans to do some promotion for her book/get wasted in Bourbon St. Due to some plane trouble she’s running late, and despite her taxi driver’s best attempts to get her to wag and go drinking/sightseeing, Jess insists on getting to the studio to see her friend Jonathan Hawley.

Unfortunately for Jess, she’s two days early. Her bud Jonathan is delighted and takes her out for lunch in the French Quarter, where he coincidentally has a meeting.

Never stand between a mystery writer and her whisky. Fact.

Jonathan is there to meet Ben Coleman, a big-time jazz musician about to hit it big in Vegas, along with his minion Eddie and his manager Aaron Kramer. Amidst all the introductions and the mutual backslapping, Ben’s backup band appear – they’ve just heard that they aren’t invited to Vegas, and they’re a little bit pissed off. Ben gives them the cold shoulder and leaves, followed soon after by his manager who CLEARLY is in love with Jess after five minutes. Which is fair enough.

Later that night, Jonathan and JB hit up the Bourbon Street Barn to see Ben Coleman and his band perform before they leave for Vegas. Backstage, Eddie is hanging out with Ben’s wife Callie commiserating about the Evil Bastard that is Ben Coleman, and the man himself is having a scream-off with his manager. Does anyone else get the feeling that some shit’s about to go down?

The show begins, and Our Heroine is having a toe-tapping good time (literally. I wish I knew how to make gifs, but take my word for it okay?). A jazz montage ensues, but it all goes terribly wrong when Ben drops dead mid-blow. Awkward. A doctor appears out of the audience and pronounces him dead, but JB isn’t so sure – she’s convinced it’s poison. Apparently so is Ben’s wife Callie, who sneaks Bens cup of water into her handbag. SUSPICIOUS.

The NOPD arrive and the lead detective immediately declares JB’s theory a publicity stunt.

When will these detectives learn? FOOLS.

The detective orders them to be at his office first thing the next morning, before flouncing out. He’s soon replaced by Jonathan’s news director, who is delighted to hear that his network has a celebrity death on tape. (Insert topical joke here). Jonathan is outraged and follows him back to the station to have it out with him, leaving Aaron to escort Jessica back to her hotel, via a bar. Smooth move right there.

The next morning sees the footage of Ben Coleman’s death splashed across the news. Detective Douchebag has Views regarding this, but it turns out he’s wrong. A very hungover Jonathan arrives at the police station to tell them that he was overruled, so he quit. The Detective apologises, and reveals that Jess was right – it was iocane powder poison.

Jessica accepts her victory with good grace

 

That out of the way, the conversation turns to HOW. Naturally they all suspect the missing cup of coffee, so they decided to check out the rest of the footage from the bar to see if they can spot the culprit. Instead, they see Callie drinking from Ben’s cup. Theory blown. To make matters worse, the news director comes in and demands to know what the hell they think they’re doing. Jess informs him that she is taking her theory to his competitor and he freaks out. Later, she tells the detective and Jonathan that she doesn’t actually have a theory, he was just annoying her. DON’T MESS WITH THE JESS.

Naturally, a lady must always keep her word, so Jess hits the streets of New Orleans to find the poisoner. First stop is Ben’s former bandmates, but they know nothing. Outside JB runs into the band manager Aaron – who as it turns out is crap at band managing but great at smuggling things back from South America. He swears that he didn’t kill Ben. JB seems to believe him, but the Detective is less inclined and turns up to arrest Aaron at the viewing of Ben’s body. Man, this episode is getting me down. Where’s Amos Tupper when you need him? The detective is convinced that Kramer poisoned Ben’s clarinet reed, but tests later revealed that the reed was completely clean.

At the television studio, Jess and Jonathan are preparing to tape their segment when the news director wanders in. While he and Jonathan argue (again), Jess stares intently at the commercial being recorded on the stage, for denture cleaner. Then inspiration hits, and she legs it to St Charles Cemetery. She’s worked out who the killer is – and I’ll be honest, I didn’t see this coming.

Well this is just depressing…

It turns out that Ben’s loyal minion Eddie found out that Ben was going to kill his wife and took action. And that’s it. Man, I am so bummed out now. I think we should all scroll down for a video life lesson from Angela Lansbury to make ourselves feel better.

See you next week, hopefully with a much happier murder.

Til then, dear reader.

 

 

 

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